A spin off from my post yesterday about loving yourself like you would love others is that being selfish can actually be a good thing. Not selfish maybe in the terms that we normally think about them in, but selfish in that it’s a good and needed thing to look after yourself first. As a woman, and a mother this was something that I struggled with for years. Fortunately I had an overwhelming anxiety issue followed by a body break down that turned me around and made me start to look at things in a different way. I realized that if I didn’t start looking after myself – being selfish – that I would have nothing left to give to anyone at all.
I’ve heard it likened many times to the lecture the flight attendants give before take off about the oxygen masks. Blah, blah, blah, when they come down secure it to yourself first before helping anyone else, blah blah blah. I’ve heard this for a lifetime and never really thought much about it until I had children. Then I thought how difficult it would be for me to put my mask on myself while watching my child struggle for breath. It wasn’t until later that I realized how much worse it would be for me to be trying to put the mask on my child and pass out myself from lack of oxygen possibly harming the both of us (thank God no actual life or death situation like this has happened to us). But it’s a very good analogy – if you have not looked after yourself you are in no situation to help others. At least not effectively or for a long period of time.
Being selfish does not mean that I expect the world to revolve around me. I don’t expect to be waited on hand and foot, nor do I expect that we only will do the things that are of interest to me. That’s not how it works when you’re part of a family unit (or any other kind of unit). And it’s not what makes for a better person. But, it means that I know that I’m a better me if I get at least 8 hours of sleep, do some exercise, meditate, do some yoga, eat a balancing diet, have some laughter, and do things that make me happy. When I take time to nurture these important parts of me it makes me not only a happier person on the inside, but a better and happier person to take out into the world. I have more to give, I can share love, happiness and laughter.
Learning to respect these parts of what makes me a better me has also made me learn to respect these parts of other people. And to realize that what makes other people a better them can be different from me, and that’s ok. We all are here to write our own life story. I can’t write yours and you can’t write mine. In the same note, you are not here to judge my life story, nor am I here to judge yours. I think as long as we are selfish enough to really dig deep and follow our dharma, our bliss, find our deepest desires, seek out those things that truly make us happy; that our life stories can be written side by side in harmony.
