happiness

Murchie’s time

My Christmas gift to myself this year was an order of Murchie’s tea. It’s my favourite for a few reasons – when we were kids mom and dad used to take us to Vancouver Island for most of our vacations and we spent many happy days getting tea at Murchies, books at Munro’s, and chocolate at Rogers. In the last couple of years I have been able to share that tradition with my kids which makes it even more special. In fact, tea has always been a source of comfort in our family. Grandma always taught us that tea was the solution for any emotion. Happy? Have a cup of tea. Sad? Have a cup of tea. Stressed? Have a cup of tea. Visiting with friends? Have a cup of tea… you get the picture.

So tonight I am sitting in Grandma’s kitchen having a cup of Murchie’s tea. And no matter what else is happening around me, life is good because of that.

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happiness

Buzz off

Years ago the kids and I saw Pinkalicious the musical when we were living in Roanoke. I think the kids were 7 and 11. It was a long time ago.

It was the cheesiest musical, but for some dorky reason we were all really into it, and we still sing one of the songs on a regular basis

Tonight the boy and I looked that song – Buzz Off – on YouTube and laughed until we cried.

https://youtu.be/SUHdoTktTA8

It’s a good reminder that the small moments become big memories. We have carried the laughter and fun from that evening for almost 7 years.

Life happens in the small moments

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happiness

Out hometown

More and more the kids are expressing how at home they feel here. They’ve said that previously they always felt like there was no point in putting down roots since they knew we were always moving.

But now, here, in cochrane, they’ve built their own tribe. They’ve got the family one they were lucky enough to be born into, and my lifelong friends, but they’re making their own circle as well.

The girl said today on her way to a party how she now feels like no matter where life takes her she’s got a home here.

Thank goodness for that. We have been seeking grounding and stability for most (all) of their lives. Funny how we had to return to what we left to find it.

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happiness

More goodbyes

Today my beautiful Drishti went to his new home. It’s sad, I’m heartbroken, but it is so much better for him. He’s found himself a home with an owner who is a much better fit for him. I think that’s one of the hardest things about loving – is knowing we don’t own those we love. If they’re better somewhere else or with someone else the most loving thing we can do is let them go.

And so I did.

And it will be so much better for him, and it will be better for me too. We both deserve to be with a partner who is a better match for us.

It sucks – he was a dream I’d had for a long time – hence the name Drishti. But to be honest, over the last year and a half with all the loss and change in my own life my drishti – my focus – has changed as well. And I need to honour that. I’ll get another horse but it won’t be right away.

The most Canadian way possible to load a horse. With the aid of a hockey stick.

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happiness

Father Brown

The boy was having an I miss nana day today. This time last year she was so sick and so much happened we all haven’t had time to really process her death.

So he decided to spend the afternoon binge watching Father Brown – which was one of their shows.

That kid really loved his nana. Almost every day he would go over and visit her. Sometimes for a few minutes, but often they would spend hours together – talking, having tea, watching tv.

It’s a special relationship kids have with their grandparents. One of my most important relationships was with my own grandma so I know how they feel and how great the loss of their grandparents is.

But, there are these memories, these special ways of celebrating and remembering the love that was shared. Thank goodness for that.

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happiness

Explain yourself

I was telling the kids today how someone close to me had spent a lot of time trying to explain their actions – maybe justify their actions is a better way to put it. The boy looked at me and said

You should never have to explain your actions to someone else. If you’re doing the right thing – there’s never any explanation for your actions needed. Look at Grandpa – he never had to explain or justify what he did or who he was – he lived with integrity and you never had to doubt that what he said and what he did was the right thing.

I was so proud of my kid for picking up on that and understanding what it means to live by your word. I’m so grateful that my kids had my dad as a role model for as long as they did.

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happiness

The power of friends

I spent some time today reconnecting with some girlfriends. We all get busy and have responsibilities and other priorities, but there’s nothing like good friends to make a soul smile.

I’m continuously grateful that we are home and I have my lifelong tribe around me again. It was good for me to learn how to make friends during our gypsy years, but man am I happy we are back where we belong.

Sometimes we need people to help hold us up, sometimes we need to be the ones doing that for others. But however it’s going, we need people we can count on in our lives.

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