happiness

Crazy snow, crazy games

We had an unbelievable dumping of snow today – probably a foot and a half – and of course even though I live in Alberta I wasn’t ready for it. No snow tires meant a snow day at home which was awesome. Girls were playing in the snow, the boy and I hung out, the dogs jumped and had a blast, it was beautiful and we were lucky to enjoy it without having to go out.

Then he came over for dinner, braved the roads to join us, and after supper we drank tea and played games. When he left the boy said he hadn’t laughed so hard in over a year, and also pointed out that while I am supposed to be dating a man like my dad, it turns out I am dating a man like my son. I’m ok with that – both my dad and my son are fine examples of what a man should be. I think the boy really feeds off the male energy, and we all seem to balance each other really well. Funny the gifts God sends you when you least expect it, but wow am I filled with gratitude.

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happiness

For a few hours

Today for the first time in over 6 months I had more than 3 hours where I didn’t have a kid attached to me. They’ve needed me and I don’t regret giving things up to be where I was needed. But it’s been exhausting and it was nice to have a bit of a normal day.

The better thing about this is that both monsters were also settled and content today as well.

It may be baby steps but it is always in the right direction.

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happiness

loving notes

I had an emotional moment in church today. I feel like when I’m there, and we are talking about love, and singing songs about hope and faith, it makes all the strength I’ve been faking melt away and I get very vulnerable. I was holding in my tears (badly) when the girl passed me a note she’d written. She wrote of how people come and go but the love is eternal. It was so sympathetic and genuine it made my heart smile.

I’ll be glad in some ways when we have done this final internment, but it also feels so…. final at the same time.

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happiness

Chocolate and girl’s night

My girl spent the afternoon at the mall with a friend. When I picked her up she handed me a bag of Purdy’s and said she knew I was having a rough week and thought my favourite chocolate would cheer me up. She’s so thoughtful.

I finished off the day by having a much needed girl’s night out. I haven’t been making time for friends the way I need to, and sitting and laughing with a group of women was exactly what I needed.

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happiness

Bonds of trust

I’ve always learned my best life lessons via my horse. Right now what I seek to be struggling with is trust – trust in myself, trust in others, trust in God (and apparently trust in my horse).

I also need to be trustworthy. Drishti needs to trust me as much as I trust him or we will never work. I need to be dependable, reliable, and predictable with him so he knows he can count on me.

Slowly, and with help, we are rebuilding. I’ve always believed that once trust is broken it’s shattered forever. But maybe, with intentional healing it’s possible that we will end up with an even deeper bond than we had before.

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happiness

Good boy

The girl and her dog completed week three of obedience school tonight. It’s amazing how much progress they have made in such a short time. Similar actually to the progress my Drishti has made in the last few weeks with some training.

I’m really understanding how important it is to be reliable, predictable, dependable, and consistent. In a word trustworthy.

If you’re going to be in a partnership with anyone – an animal or a person – you need to be trustworthy. It’s the only way it will work.

Watching their trust bond grow is awesome

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happiness

Solo drive

The boy went for his first full out solo drive today. It’s a big deal – I remember that sense of freedom I had the first time I drove by myself and although I don’t feel like he’s old enough – he’s more than old and responsible enough.

Things change so fast, babies grow up in the blink of an eye (such a cliche but so true), but they are such amazing humans I couldn’t be happier with the people they are becoming.

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