Summer that is. We had our first trip to the creek this afternoon. Nothing says summer like watching kids run into the freezing mountain water. This is one of my favourite activities and we were in one of our favourite spots.
When I was pregnant with the boy we joined a birth and baby class at the hospital. It was 8 weeks with half the focus on pregnancy and half on newborns. My kid was considerate and was born at exactly the half way mark.
For the first year a bunch of us did weekly playgroups which gave us overtired and overwhelmed moms an outing. There was a first birthday party, and a 10 birthday party (which we missed because we were living away).
Today we had the 16th birthday party for these babies. And all but three showed up which was pretty amazing.
I consider moments like this to be huge blessings. It’s a special kind of happiness. It comes from good old memories, love for our kids, and sharing of happy times.
This evening I took some time and practiced what my friend had shown me yesterday. You could call it either a game of “which one of us is going to be dominant in this relationship” or “which one of us is more stubborn”. I won tonight’s episode. He’s a good guy, and a smart guy, but also a lazy one who doesn’t want to be worked. We will change that. My friend said it’s kind of like working with a teenager and she was spot on. He would rather be in the field eating and hanging with his friends, but when I force him to do something he discovers he kind of likes it.
I have waited what seems like a lifetime for this guy and I’m so grateful he’s in my life. He brings me peace and happiness, he also helps me heal, let go of fear, find strength, and connect with God.
Today is my unniversary – it hasn’t been a great day for years now but I’m getting better about it.
It used to be a sad day because it was a reminder that I had made a promise to spend life with someone who was hellbent on destroying me. Last year it was a weird day as I had my own end of marriage ceeemony – gratitude I was on this side, sadness I endured for so long.
Today though I realized something. I used to think we were building security for the future. I hoped maybe once he made enough money, or was happy enough in his career, that things would get better. Eventually I began to wonder if this would ever be the case. But, then I was trading happiness in the present for the hope of security in the future.
Now I have happiness in the moment and no security for the future at all.
But these moments… they are awesome. And all we really have is the present moment. I realized this today as I was mowing the lawn, seeing my horse in the field beside me, watching my daughter and niece jump on the trampoline, and knowing that my boy was at a job that he loves.
These present moments of happiness are good ones. Who knows what the future holds, but the present- it holds happiness.
I drove in the yard today to find my boy walking through the tallest grass in the field – in the lane that we used to use to go from my parents’ house to the barn. It also goes to our house.
We used to walk and ride up this little lane when we were kids, although over the years it hasn’t been used much and now is just a tall jungle of grass, bluebells, and burrs (and the odd rhubarb plant).
I love that he lives here and now has the freedom to just hang outside in the field playing in the tall grass. This is the childhood I had always imagined for my kids. The fact that he’s almost 16 and still doing this makes my heart smile from the inside out. Happiness.
The other day I was gifted a bunch of old fashioned perennials to put into my flower garden and since it finally stopped raining today I was able to plant them. They fit perfectly with my old fashioned house and our happy new(ish) life. This house has brought love and life back to us and I hope we have been able to do the same to it. It’s got such a great energy and vibe – generations of love live here. This is happiness.
I had coffee (or tea for me) with a couple of dear old friends this morning. I’ve known them since forever and our families are tied way back. I love these kinds of relationships – where the common bonds are so close it’s just easy.
We were laughing about how much different it is for kids learning how to drive now. One of them mentioned how bad it is now that texting exists. I said but when we were learning how to drive we had a coffee in one hand, and were usually waving the other one around doing something stupid. And one of them piped in and there was always a bag of chips stuck between our knees.
I laughed and told them a story of how I once almost ditched the suburban doing a turn while eating chips. The steering wheel got caught on the chip bag and for some reason my hand refused to let go of the bag almost sending me crashing into the ditch. They giggled and said the same thing had happened to them except they hit black ice and the driver had a hand in the chip bag. After doing a 360 and ending up in the ditch the chip bag was still intact – car needed a little help.
I love sharing these kinds of stories. Stupid, silly laughter stories of days gone by. That is happiness.