happiness

That’s who I used to be

I stopped at Planet Organic tonight to get a few items – giant jug of maple syrup among them. 

At the till the man asked for my name, but when I gave it to him it didn’t bring up my customer number. I fished out the card, he turned the screen as he swiped so we could see what name came up. 

When I saw the name I said oh that’s who I used to be. He laughed and asked if I wanted him to change it (I did). Then he said that’s who I used to be – I like that. I wish I could change myself sometimes too. 

And I told him it’s possible to change yourself without needing a name change. You just have to do it. 

Then he told me how to make candied nuts with the ton of maple syrup I had bought. He said I could add nut lady onto my list of changed names. 

I like it. Weird conversations that make me laugh. It’s happiness. 

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happiness

Old time fun at the Hall

We celebrated the 90th anniversary of the Jumping Pound Community Hall today. It’s a building that has held generations of people from this community – we’ve had showers, dances, receptions, parties, birthdays, New Years celebrations, Santa has come to Christmas parties – we have laughed, cried, and loved in this building. It holds lots of good memories for lots of people out here. 

I’m so blessed to be part of this huge tribe. Stuff like this – it’s happiness. 

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Friends in low places 

26 years later my oldest bestest friend and I did a return to watch Garth Brooks and Tricia Yearwood in concert at the Saddledome. When we went in 1991 it was their first time touring, barely any of his songs were known, and until tonight it remained the best concert I had ever been to.

Man those two put on a show y’all.

Aside from how amazingly awesome the concert was, it was so fun to go with my dear old friend and her family. We laughed that years ago we had been each other’s maid’s of honuor and now we were each other’s plus ones. This friendship will last well into the nursing home. We went for dinner and swapped new horse stories and laughed about some old ones. We rolled eyes when Garth played much too young to feel this damn old and remembered how we used to say that in our youth. We were such innocent fools.

It was SO MUCH FUN! So much happiness.

As a bonus happiness moment, I went and saw my stylist today to see if I’d be able to get my head into the sink next week to deal with the chaotic mop my hair has turned into. She washed and styled my hair for free so I’d look good for the concert. What an act of kindness. She is such a good soul.

 

 

 

 

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happiness

The smoky mountains

We took an impulse drive to Banff this afternoon – how lucky are we that this wonderland is so close to our home. The drive was a little more tiring than I had thought it would be – shoulder is not happy with me – but the trade off was giggles and smiles from my monsters all afternoon. I feel like we’ve missed out on a lot of that this last month and we need to dedicate this last weekend of summer to fun.

The drive was insanely smoky, but interestingly enough Banff has less smoke than we have here so we were able to walk around and enjoy the mountains and the town. Best of all, after the fire last winter the candy shoppe has reopened so the kids got to get a treat. Happy happy happiness.

I definitely feed off the energy of the mountains and every so often I need to stand surrounded by them – in a mountain hug – and recharge myself.

I had coffee with a friend this afternoon and we both agreed we need to be doing some rebalancing. Funny how it’s so much harder to get back to centre than it is to lose it. But we work together and hold each other up and step by step we get there.

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happiness

Change the story she tells herself

Probably one of the only good things about getting older is that it means that the angst filled years of being a teenager are getting further and further in my rearview mirror. The more I watch my daughter step onto this phase of life the more this is confirmed for me.

We had a minor tragedy at the mall today. She had been gifted a small sum by her nana to purchase whatever she wanted as a back to school treat- she’d be able to buy some earrings or a sparkly headband – or whatever tickled her fancy. However, somehow on the way from the car to the store the money got lost.

Her reaction was heartbreaking. She started beating herself up – saying how stupid she was, how she didn’t deserve the money in the first place, and how it was all her fault.

None of this is true. This girl is amazing, she’s got this amazing pure heart and will go out of her way time and time again to help out others.

But no matter how many times I told her this she wasn’t hearing it. She was playing the soundtrack over and over in her head that was telling her she had no value and that all bad things that happen is her fault. She burst into tears and said what do you expect me to think? I was told this over and over for all of my life until we left and came home. The aftermath of the chaos of her childhood, it’s hard when one of the people who is supposed to protect you tries instead to destroy you.

I tried telling the story of how amazing I think she is in many different ways, but it was making no difference. We drove to the grocery store and I grabbed some things for supper, then we went to Safeway to get one more thing. She was tired and sad and stayed in the car so I was by myself. As I came out there was a young guy sitting by the door, head down, holding a sign that said homeless- please give – anything helps.  I had $3 in my pocket and I walked over and gave it to him.

But, as I got into my car with my crying daughter, a backseat full of groceries, and prepared to head back to the home we love; I thought of two things:

One was how grateful I was that we had a tribe to pick us up and help us out when we were left with nothing.

The other was how weird it felt to drive home with so much food and leave this poor kid sitting outside with nothing.

So, I said to the girl that we were both going to get out of our funk, she was going to see what the real value of money was, and we were going to get him some supper. We went to Good Earth and got him a panini, a fresh cookie, and some iced tea. We went back to Safeway and both got out of the car and walked the supper to him. Jenna commented after Mom, did you see the look on his face? His eyes were so sad at first, then he looked like he couldn’t believe that we were doing that for him. I feel so different, even my tummy feels different. I’m glad we were able to do something nice for him.

And I reminded her that years ago we used to buy gift cards for food for some of the homeless people in Roanoke. I said this is who you are. This is the kind of heart you have. When you’re telling yourself who you are – this is it. You give to people, you help people, and you love people. Even when you feel like you’ve got nothing to give, there’s always some way you can help someone else. 

And she said yes – that’s true.

That is happiness. A deep, make me cry, love her so much, happiness.

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Let’s be Italian today 

The boy very kindly accompanied me to an unplanned doctor appointment this morning. Thankfully I have a great doctor and I think I’ll have some better luck with pain management. One can hope anyway. 

Since we were already in South Calgary it only made sense to go to our favorite place in the city- the Italian Centre. We made the bad choice of shopping while hangry but it’s not like any of it will go to waste. Yum. 

We grabbed lunch at the cafe when we were done and it was like we were transported on a mini vacation. 


The boy said it was like we were in Italy, to me it felt like we were at a bistro in Quebec. I miss our Quebec meals and the culture there. We had some good times, and sure learned how to appreciate a good meal. 

When we got home my mom asked if we wanted to go to Bragg Creek for supper and eat outside on a patio. Off to the Italian Farmhouse we went for another perfect Italian meal. 

And best of all, the chef cut up my meal for me – so it came out looking pretty and I could eat it! 



It was a pretty blessed day. I have to say I started it off feeling kind of sore and grumbly. But seriously – what a lot to be grateful for. Good medical care, awesome food, and my tribe. Life is good. That is happiness. 

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