happiness

Focus on the family

Last evening, after the family party at my aunt’s place, extended family/neighbors ended up visiting mom at the same time we were there.

I remember talking to them years ago about their kids (who are now in their 30s), and he said that they didn’t do a lot of sleepovers or camps because they wanted to do things together as a family. That has stuck with me as I’ve been raising my kids. They do things with friends, but I’ve always tried to put a lot of emphasis on family time.

Last night we were talking about the community, the family, and getting older. We all agreed that getting older sucked more than we had thought, but also that it was lonelier than it had been in previous generations.

He said focus used to be on family and on the community. Now you are supposed to always be doing something outside of the home, when before it used to be important to do things at home with your family.

That is IT That’s the secret. We need to be spending more time building love bridges with our people and less time feeding our egos.

I’ve been thinking about that all day – as I worked with a family friend, as I played with my horse, as I chatted with a cousin, as I visited with my mom, and as I came home to the happy chatter of my kids.

It’s all about the tribe. It’s all about love and the relationships we build.

So in my childhood this man used to pull me out of stupid situations I’d get into with my horse (oh too many of them), and now he offers these little gems of wisdom. And both he and his wife walk the talk. They are two of the kindest people I know.

Happiness ❤️

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happiness

Shortbread cookies

My great aunt had her birthday party today. Twice a year her family hosts big community/family parties and they have become important hubs that pull the family together. Life has changed, it has become busier and we don’t always take the time we should to spend with our loved ones. This gives us an opportunity to do just that and I’m very grateful for that.

We visited, we laughed, we ate (omg the shortbread cookies at that house are to die for), and I even got a winter hat out of it!

It was fantastic. We are so lucky we are part of this tribe. Happiness.

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happiness

Love can build a bridge

I had the most touching moment as I was sitting with my mom tonight. As I was sitting there thinking what an honour it is to be her daughter, to be there with her, I had that old Judd’s song play through my mind.

I’d gladly walk across the desert

With no shoes upon my feet

To share with you the last bite

Of bread i had to eat

I would swim out to save you

In your sea of broken dreams

When all your hopes are sinkin’

Let me show you what love means

Love can build a bridge

Between your heart and mine

Love can build a bridge

Don’t you think it’s time?

Don’t you think it’s time?

I would whisper love so loudly, every heart could understand

Love and only love can join the tribes of man not trials

I would give my heart’s desire so that you might see

The first step is to realize that it all begins with you and me.

Love can build a bridge

Between your heart and mine

Love can build a bridge

Don’t you think it’s time?

Don’t you think it’s time?

When we stand together, it’s our finest hour

We can do anything, anything

We’re believing in the power

Love can build a bridge

Between your heart and mine

Love can build a bridge

Don’t you think it’s time?

Don’t you think it’s time?

Love can build a bridge

Between your heart and mine

Love can build a bridge

Don’t you think it’s time?

Don’t you think it’s time?

Love will overcome everything. It is the most powerful force in our lives, it is stronger than fear or hate. We should all be building bridges of love. I find this brings me a lot of peace. Thank goodness for my tribe – we are all building that bridge together. That is happiness.

Don’t you think it’s time?

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happiness

Walk by faith

I keep asking God to shine light on the path I’m on so I can see where I’m going. I often forget that my walk is one of faith and that I need to rely on that and not on what I can see. I can’t see the big picture from where I’m at, but I have faith that He does – even if it doesn’t make sense and I get angry and yell a little bit.

I had an epiphany today as I was doing a tapping session. We were talking about being loved and being lovable and recalling times when we felt like we weren’t being loved or valued by someone in our lives who we felt should be loving us. Basically the lesson was that we are all worthy of love because we are lights of the Divine.

It got me thinking of the pain that comes with the rejection of love. I know I write a lot on here about the pain and suffering financially that my divorce has caused, I don’t talk as much about the pain and suffering on our hearts that this divorce has caused. I not only lost the person who was supposed to be my life partner, but my kids lost their dad. I mean, we all lost him years before I filed for divorce, but that’s what the divorce symbolizes on the deepest level. The result of being or feeling unloved. It hurt me that for years I was told I was unlovable and not worthy of love. It devastates me to see my children experience the same feeling. It hurts to be told you’re not worthy of love by someone you love.

And yet, sometimes that happens. Sometimes the fairy tale doesn’t happen. Sometimes the person who was supposed to love you is the person who hurts you the most. Even if it’s not complete destruction like in my case, we all hurt each other because we are human and we are flawed.

For years I was left feeling unlovable, unloved, unworthy – as were my kids. Financial struggles aside, this has been the hardest part of the family coming undone. And one of the most important things  has been us discovering, learning, training ourselves to believe, that we are worthy of love. All of us are. We are because it’s our birthright. We are all beloved children of God.

We are all worthy of love. Asrael asked me yesterday how deep does love go?

It must go to infinity (and beyond haha).

These kinds of moments bring me deep happiness because I can feel in my soul I’m one step closer to getting it. As a bonus happiness moment, we drove around and looked at Christmas lights while listening to Bob and Doug Mackenzie and laughing loudly. It was a great moment of joy and happiness. I love this time of the year.

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happiness

Healing tribe

I had calls today with two of the healers from my tribe. One I have known for a few years now and she’s held space for me as my life has gone through some huge changes. The other is part of the coaching tribe I have joined.

It’s amazing the space that was cleared in my soul today. I feel stronger and more capable of holding myself up and moving ahead with faith and hope. Happiness

Mom had a much better day today which is also a huge happiness moment. Keep the love coming.

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happiness

The highs and the lows

Today was a day filled with emotional highs and lows. It was exhausting – but it was a condensed example of how life really is – good and bad, happy and sad, safe and fearful.

I started the day by sending an email to Mr. X asking him if he would consider paying up front for the kids to see the dentist. I have a years worth of unpaid (by him) expenses and I was really hoping he’d step up and help out (he won’t). Then I was gifted a family love miracle by my tribe with an offer of help that will relieve us all of some stress burdens we’ve been carrying. Then I opened my mail and discovered we likely will have to take Mr. X back to court again to sort out the court order he’s refusing to follow. Then I took my computer in to get repaired and even though they warned me all my data was likely lost they recovered it all. Then I sat with my mom as she had a rather difficult evening.

Good and bad, highs and lows. This is life. This is why although often my happiness moments are about events, or my tribe, or my horse, or my home; happiness must come from within – or from God our Source of everything. I can’t depend on outside circumstances to make me happy because they’re in constant change. I need to keep seeking peace within, I need to improve my connection to the Divine, I need to trust in the power of love. That is where happiness stems from.

Please pray for my mom.

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