happiness

Just a Thought at Twilight (A poem by Edna)

Just a Thought at Twilight When my Spirit’s Low

Music is throbbing in my ears

A Christian hymn sung at twilight

Faintly it dies with the breeze then nears

As the human notes gain in might

It’s Sunday evening and the first day of May

I’m thinking of my home in the foothills

And I wish I were there to enjoy this day

Where the meadowlarks voice throbs and trills

The city has many large and magnificent churches

Where the people gather in crowds to worship God for an hour or two

But all day in the country where’er your eye searches

Your heart humbly praises the Master of the picturesque view

I wish I were back to my kinfolk again

And to the hills and the mountains dear

To help plow the fields and to plant the rich grain

Which feeds all these mouths who at the farmers sneer

(On the back is written: Please return to me because this is the only copy I’ve got and I have promised to send Jean all my attempts at poetry. E.A.B.)

happiness

Pigs Living High on the Cow – Percy’s version of the 1936 Fire

It’s funny how the same situation can elicit such different recollections – here’s Grandpa’s version of the story of the fire. I have previously posted Grandma’s version here and another version here, as well as some photos here.

You’ll notice there is no mention of Grandma trying to outrun the fire in her car with her toddler and her baby bump. It is, though, a really good description of how it must have felt for him, and all of them, after the fire when they were trying to figure out how to feed and care for their cattle.

We had serious droughts which created feed shortages but the worst situation I experienced was in the fall of 1936 when a disastrous fire burned all our feed and most of the pastures. That evening when everything was burned and things looked hopeless, Ken Coppock, Sec. Manager of the Western Stock Growers paid me a visit and told me to come and see him as he would help to figure out a way out of this predicament. At this time, there was a lot of straw stack, some three and four years old up in the Olds district. Ken contacted a man up there for me who acquired enough straw to winter what cows I had to get through the winter. The government was shipping cattle at the time free of charge from southern Alberta which was dried out, and so Ken got me on the band wagon as well. There was some losses, a lot of defending on what kind of a farmer was looking after the cattle. There were about five hundred or more head and these had to be placed in small lots around the country at different farms. One place in particular, the cattle did not do well because they were not getting enough water. Roads were blocked for a couple of weeks and I was unable to check this particular herd until several cows died, which were then hauled up to the pigs. Instead of cows living high on the hog, the hogs were living high on the cows.

It was a happy day the following spring when I trailed them home from Cochrane. It took some of them longer than others to make the trip, but they sure knew their way home.

happiness

Letters from “Jack the Soldier” during WWII – Get what Happiness we can out of life

This letter is a good reminder for me about how life is full of both positive and negative things. As Jack says, I know it is pretty hard to figure out very far ahead these days, but I think the best way is to try and get what happiness we can out of life while we can. I don’t know what happened to the letters in the couple of years between, it seems what I have is pretty sporadic, but fascinating even with the time gaps.

26th April, 1942

Dear Percy and Edna

Thank you ever so much for your letter and parcel of March 10th. I certainly was glad to hear from you again and to know you all are well back there.

At present I am writing this in a tent we have moved from our portable billets and into a new camp, but things are pretty good just now as the weather has been gloriously fine for the last three weeks.

We are doing rather tough drilling now, long forced marches, battle drills and all the rest, I guess they are trying to make Commandos out of us all. Since we are all together in one camp again, I have seen a lot of Bill, and he still is the same, I don’t think anything will ever change him, he is quite lucky as he has a lot of relatives close and can visit them quite often.

There are a great many changes in the battalion since we came over, quite a lot have transferred to other units, others have gone back to Canada, and a lot of new faces are to be seen now. I have met quite a few of the boys since coming here, that I haven’t seen for years.

Things look ever so nice just now around the country, all kinds of wild flowers are growing, but I still like Canada best and my accent is not getting English – yet.

I’m sorry to hear that you have had tough luck about getting mail over. It seems to come over in spurts, some of the boys have a good system of numbering their letters from one to ten, then starting over again. This way you can tell just how many letters have gone astray, and I don’t know whether it makes any difference or not, but most of their letters manage to turn up.

I just came back from a good weeks leave not long ago. I sure enjoy a break away from the army life once a in a while and I wish I could get away for good sometimes.

Maybe you will think I’m pretty crazy, but I think if all turns out well I will be getting married in June 6th. I know it is pretty hard to figure out very far ahead these days, but I think the best way is to try and get what happiness we can out of life while we can. So I guess I will be getting hitched soon now.

If I can scare up the price I’ll send you a cable within the next few days, telling you I got the parcel, which I enjoyed greatly. Wonder if you could send a cigarette lighter and some razor blades please. Matches are scarce, but not matter what it is, everything is welcome. Be sure and write, and I do like to hear from you folks. I am still keeping well, hope you are too.

Best of Luck, Jack.

PS I sure would like any addresses of people you know if they are not too far away, possibly zI can visit them. Sincerely Jack

M11915

PtE J Martin

Calgary Highlanders

Headq. Coy. 5 Platoon

CA (Overseas)

Back of photo: Merry Xmas To Percy and Edna from Bill

Back of photo: I wonder if you will recognize me

Back of photo: This looks like an ad as to what the well dressed soldiers will wear.

happiness

Letters from “Jack the Soldier” during WWII – air raids and cowboys

I’m feeling a bit invested in Jack’s life. I still have no idea who he is or how things turned out for him, but I’m loving his letters.

M11915-PtE J. Martin

Calgary Highlanders

C/O Overseas Base P.O.

London, England C.A.S.F.

September 4th, 1940

Hello Percy and Edna

Just a line to let you know that I am ok and feeling fine. How is everything with you folks? I hope you are not overly worked, but I know you must be busy, especially at this time of the year.

Bill and I are having a pretty good time together, he has bought himself an old accordion and we manage to wheeze out something like a tune out of the old wheeze-box. We have quite a lot of fun, playing darts, a game which is popular over here. Bill is quite an expert and always manages to beat me.

The weather is rotten right now over here, it is always raining or going to rain, and it seems to be very cold. I almost freeze to death in this weather. I always thought I could stand lots of cold, but this weather seems to seep right through a fellow. I don’t know what I”m going to do when winter comes, probably I’ll get used to it if I live long enough.

Well, I managed to get five days leave, and I sure enjoyed my holiday. I think we stationed in the worst part of the country. Once we get away from this vicinity, we have a good time, the only trouble about going on leave and having some fun is the thought of coming back here again.

I paid a little visit to London while I was away. There happened to be a big air raid that day, and I had a grandstand seat to watch it. There is no doubt about our airmen being far superior to Jerry <a nickname given to German soldiers- I didn’t know that so maybe you didn’t either>. They knocked out 113 that day, not a bad going. Old Adolf must be having quite a headache at the way things are turning out.

Of course in a city the size of London, there is bound to be some damage as there is always something to be hit when Jerry drops his load at random, but I think the papers over stress it a little. There is lots of streets untouched, and even where damage is done it does not take very long to fix it up. A person can still travel quite safely wherever he wishes, and business goes on as usual.

I wish I could put on paper the spirit these people show at a time like this, but mere words can’t show just what they are. Every man, woman, and child deserves a medal for bravery and coolness in London, and lots of it never gets into the papers. You can see stores partly demolished and windows blown in, but the big worry is to reopen as soon as possible. The women and kids are wonderful. I’m afraid most of us would get panic stricken and get discouraged if our houses were bombed over us, or had to jump like a rabbit down into our air raid shelter every time a siren screams, but the kiddies just play on as usual, and take it just as a matter of course. If Hitler thinks he can scare these folks by bombing them, he sure is barking up the wrong tree, for they won’t scare in a thousand years. What gets us mad is not being able to do anything about it. The safest place these days seems to be in the army, but as the boys say “There’ll come a day.”

We had some Canadian mail the other day and I sure was surprised to get a parcel from you. The mince pie was swell although it had started to turn a little, and that shortbread was wonderful. I don’t suppose you figured on it travelling all the way over here, but it was welcome. Thanks ever so much Edna, thank you too Red-Head, you’re a swell cook.

Sorry I wasn’t able to visit all those people you wrote in your letter about. I’ll save their addresses, and stop over and see them on my way back. I sure would have liked to see them, but this man’s army doesn’t think much of what any single soldier wants, but make damn good and sure he does what they want.

Well, there sure isn’t much news as yet. Bill and I are keeping fine, he got a letter from Harry the other day, giving all the news, I was sorry to hear old man Oliver had died. Everybody seems to be keeping alright, although Mrs. Harry seemed to be sore about a horse that had bucked her off. Wish I had been there to see it.

I had quite a time here when some of the Englishmen found out I used to work on a ranch, they wanted me to stage a rodeo all by myself lonesome, but as there were no bucking horses to ride, no calves to throw, it didn’t turn out to be much of a success. They were awfully disappointed when I couldn’t yodel as they think every cowboy was a born yodeller. I have quite a time convincing them that it was quite sate to go to sleep on the prairie without being afraid of getting scalped by Indians, or eaten by wolves or bears. I think most of them prefer the safety of a dugout than the thought of living in Canada I guess it takes all kinds of people to make a world.

Well, I think I’ll sign off for now. Thanks again for the parcel and the letter. I know you are busy and it is hard for you to get time to write. Say hello to Clarence and everyone for me. Hope Sheila and Marsh are keeping well. As usual give love to the cook. I always try to keep on the good side of the cook.

Best wishes to you both

Jack

happiness

A convocation of eagles

We were driving to town yesterday and looked at the slough on the way by to see if the swans were still here.

As an aside, a couple of weeks ago the girl and I were out in the yard when we heard what we thought was the strangest sounding clown car going by on the road. Turns out it was the honking of a flock of swans. Much different than the honking of a flock of geese these guys were – an elegant looking, but clown car sounding flock flying overhead. We are still laughing about it.

Anyway, we looked over and to our surprise and delight, instead of
swans there was a convocation of eagles. Is 4 enough for a convocation? Either way, they were magnificent! I love eagles and have been blessed with several eagle sightings this year. There are many interpretations of the significance of seeing eagles – to me they represent courage, strength, power, bravery, independence, and a connection to the divine. Added bonus is how amazingly beautiful they are.

When I looked at this photo, I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what the eagle on the far right was doing.

Oh, never mind, it was just a crow flying in front of him.

happiness

Give all to love

One of my favourite poems – maybe my absolute favourite one – is Give All To Love by Emerson. As with Thoreau, I first discovered my love for him as a young adult in university English class. Actually, I not only discovered Thoreau and Emerson, but I discovered transcendentalism and with that a kind of “home” that I have danced in and out of over the years. In reality, I didn’t discover transcendentalism so much as it found me and pulled me towards it.

According to vocabulary.com, transcendentalism is “a philosophy started in the early 19th century that promotes intuitive, spiritual thinking instead of scientific thinking based on material things.

There are three main principals – individualism, idealism, and the divinity of nature. I think one of the main components that drew me to these transcendental writers was their belief that nature is sacred and is a powerful source of both spiritual and moral wisdom that we as humans are to connect and live in harmony with.

Their writings make me feel happy and connected to the Divine in any case.

I have to say, the one visit I made to Concord years ago has left me wanting to go back and spend much more time there exploring and sitting in the space where thinkers I have admired for years spent their time. I loved New England.

There’s a big part of me that wants to love poetry, there’s another part of me that often gets bored really quickly with a poem and I often struggle with wanting to enjoy what I’m reading and wanting to poke my eyes out so I don’t have to read anymore (a bit drastic, closing the book is probably more accurate.) When I find a poem that grabs me, it becomes part of my soul and I carry it with me. As I do with this one.

From the first time I read it, the last stanza has been imprinted on me. I’ve thought about it on and off throughout the years, and it helps hold me steady. I love it.

Give All to Love

BY RALPH WALDO EMERSON

Obey thy heart;

Friends, kindred, days,

Estate, good-fame,

Plans, credit and the Muse,—

Nothing refuse.

’T is a brave master;

Let it have scope:

Follow it utterly,

Hope beyond hope:

High and more high

It dives into noon,

With wing unspent,

Untold intent:

But it is a god,

Knows its own path

And the outlets of the sky.

It was never for the mean;

It requireth courage stout.

Souls above doubt,

Valor unbending,

It will reward,—

They shall return

More than they were,

And ever ascending.

Leave all for love;

Yet, hear me, yet,

One word more thy heart behoved,

One pulse more of firm endeavor,—

Keep thee to-day,

To-morrow, forever,

Free as an Arab

Of thy beloved.

Cling with life to the maid;

But when the surprise,

First vague shadow of surmise

Flits across her bosom young,

Of a joy apart from thee,

Free be she, fancy-free;

Nor thou detain her vesture’s hem,

Nor the palest rose she flung

From her summer diadem.

Though thou loved her as thyself,

As a self of purer clay,

Though her parting dims the day,

Stealing grace from all alive;

Heartily know,

When half-gods go,

The gods arrive.

happiness

The Accident (A poem)

I found a poetry book Grandma wrote when she was a teenager – along with a few school friends from what I can tell. Most of the poems in this book are written by her, but there are several written by other girls – I assume classmates of hers.

I had previously found a written copy of her poem “The Accident” that didn’t have the explanatory story at the beginning of the poem. I was left wondering what had indeed happened to poor Jean, although I knew by how history had played itself out that she had in fact lived through this accident and gone on to live a long and hopefully happy and fulfilling life.

There are some really beautiful poems in Grandma’s book, about the landscape, the snow, the mountains, even about the passing of my great grandfather – her father in law. But this poem about her best friend eating dirt on the way home made me smile. This friendship clearly was incredibly important to Grandma. There are letters spanning her entire life from her good friend. It seems very “Anne of Green Gables” with her bosom buddy Diana – the type of friendship I have always aspired to have.

The Accident – by Edna Brown, 1924 (Grandma would have been 16 at the time)

One Day Ruth and Jean rode to town and coming home, Jean’s pony fell and threw her off, she was unhurt except for the gravel taking the skin off her elbow. While she was lying on the road, Ruth shouted at her “Are you killed yet Jean?”

There once was a dark eyed cowgirl

And her name was Jean Russell

She used to ride a roan pony

When she wasn’t in a hustle

But one day a storm rose from the west

And both speed and steadiness were needed

Maybe I’d better not tell the rest

Because in supplying these things that pony

Never succeeded

However Jean was home before the storm

And how she did it I for one with wonder was filled

One place from the road they have torn

And there Jean was supposed to have been killed

They took the top off a rise in the gravelly trail

But when they reached hone we were glad to find

Jean alive and telling the tale

With a few grains of gravel from her elbow to be mined

happiness

Love is…

I was thinking the other day about “happiness” and how I started this blog seeking happiness in a time where I wasn’t seeing or feeling very happy.

Over the last 10 years there have been so many ups and downs in my life journey, moments of happiness, moments of despair, times of fear, feelings of freedom, times where the pain has cut so deeply I wasn’t sure I’d survive, and times where the sun shone brightly in my world.

I think what I was really searching for, what I really have been searching for wasn’t happiness (I mean, to some extent it was), but instead I was searching for love and the feeling of peace that comes with love.

For me, often (usually) love hasn’t brought a lot of peace. I’ve realized over time that is because I was trying to make things/relationships/people/situations that weren’t love into love. And this became confusing for me over my life. You can’t find love where love is not. It’s been hard to realize that many, many times in my life what I have thought was love was not love at all.

I think we all misuse love to some extent as humans. We can try to manipulate people into loving us, or into putting up with things that cause them pain because they love us, or by using each other in an attempt to relieve our own pain of not feeling loved.

I have realized I need to redefine what love is for myself. What does it mean to love? What does it mean to be loved? What does it mean to be a loving presence on the planet?

The best real-life examples I could come up with was how I have felt with my animals. Thank goodness for the connection humans have with animals, thank God for how animals put up with us and teach us love. Once I could take that as a baseline for love I could apply it to my human relationships and see things more clearly. Some relationships I have with people have been called love but weren’t and some were filled with love that went unrecognized. Lots of learning.

As I was thinking about love and trying to define love for myself I realized that of course there’s a place where I could go and find a definition of love that I could use with faith and confidence that it was, in fact, what love is:

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.⁶Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I have realized how important it is for me to follow this definition if I want to be a loving person, but I am realizing that it is equally important that I look at how others are treating me, and how they treat other people.

happiness

Dancing Skies

Last night I was actually organized enough to get myself to bed early. I’ve been exhausted and not sleeping well, so figured if I was going to wake up early I’d trick myself by going to bed early.

When we went outside at 8 to grab the last running dog, my daughter gave a little squeal and told me to look up in the sky. The whole sky was dancing and it was absolutely amazing. It was just settling into darkness, so you could still see some actual sky and clouds – but also colours bouncing everywhere.

We ran out of the yard and into the field so we could stand amongst the beauty of the universe and enjoy the light show. God really gave us something to appreciate last night, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen one quite like this – and the girl has never seen northern lights that you didn’t have to look through the phone camera to properly see.

It was a real honour to be able to stand outside for an hour or so taking in the beauty and wonder of the moment that nature was providing for us. Stop and be still, listen and hear, see and be seen, love and be loved.

By the way, I went to bed much later than intended and slept like a log. God is Good.

happiness

Eagles overhead, Snow on the ground, it’s Springtime!

A couple of weeks ago I had the most amazing experience. I was outside in the yard with the girl, standing close to the house in the yard with our big old dog when suddenly I heard the girl whisper with intensity “mom, mom, mom, look up”, and when I did I was astounded. Soaring maybe 10 feet over my head was a golden eagle. I have never been that close to one “in the wild”, and certainly never thought one would come down into the yard like that, but man it was cool and scary and inspiring and beautiful.

Since then, spring has officially arrived on the ranch. I’ve seen both golden and bald eagles everywhere, there are gophers poking around, the calves are being born, and of course – it’s snowing (and snowing, and snowing, and still snowing) which means much needed moisture on the ground.

I am so grateful to be able to live with nature at my doorstep (and sometimes trying to get inside the house – sometime I’ll tell my “bears on the roof stories”), it brings me peace and provides harmony to my soul. There is beauty and love in the universe waiting to be witnessed and embraced.

These photos were all taken with my iphone – how about that for some lucky eagle sightings!?!