happiness

Stampede breakfast 2019

Out community hall had its annual stampede breakfast this morning. It was the third year the kids and I helped (since I’m a board member) and it is more enjoyable every year.

This year for the first time we had a dunk tank to raise money for the hall and it was a huge success. Some very good sports volunteered to be dunked in less than ideal weather which was greatly appreciated.

I love our community. I’m so grateful we are back home.

Standard
happiness

Forced family candyland time

The girl insisted we have a family game night. The boy and I reluctantly left our solo quiet time to join her only to discover she’d chosen the one banned game in the house – Candyland. Banned 10 years ago because it’s the most boring game on earth.

Who would have thought that at 14 and 18 they’d still find it fun. Although it’s a totally different kind of game with teenage vocabulary.

Then we moved to the ultimate family favorite – uno – and took turns kicking butt.

I didn’t know I needed that, but I really did. It was fun to be silly and play games with my two favorite people.

Standard
happiness

Change the voice in your head

The last week or so I’ve been feeling really ungrounded and dealing with a lot of unwanted voice chatter – old tapes replaying things in my head. I know it’s in part because of recent issues I’ve been dealing with regarding Mr. X, it brought up a lot of the old crap that I’ve buried or not dealt with. And while I know I need to deal with those old emotions, I find the tapes on endless replay in my head difficult to handle.

I think most of us have some version of this – old things that someone has said to us that we say over and over. They may say it one time, or a few times, but we say it to ourselves millions of times and that causes a lot of damage.

I had my riding lesson today. As I was struggling with transitions, my instructor pointed out that I needed to get rooted and that I had to stop reacting to him jumping around – she said that I was using old reactions to deal with present problems and that wasn’t going to work. She actually stopped me and said it was like I had old tapes playing in my head of how things used to be and that wasn’t going to help me at all in my present situation.

One thing that she said that was really helpful – on my horse and in life- was when things start to go wrong not to get all tense and upset and expect myself to be able to get back  into balance immediately. She said “I don’t care if it takes you one or two times around the circle to get yourself back together, just as long as you don’t let yourself get rattled, you stay present in the moment, and you keep working at it. Let go of that old tape and use the new skills I’ve taught you.” Proof that how we do one thing is how we do everything. I’ve learned new skills riding, and I’ve learned new skills in life. Now the trick is to remember to apply them.

And that was exactly what I needed to hear, on my horse and in my life.

Standard
happiness

Girl date

The girl and I were gifted tickets to Stage West today and got an unexpected but much appreciated girl date today.

The show was hilarious, the food was awesome, and we really enjoyed just hanging together. Part way through the play I looked over at her and was filled with gratitude for the fact that my 14 year old actually was enjoying spending the day with me. As a former 14 year old girl, I know what a big deal this is.

Life is good.

Standard
happiness

More than a feeling

Father’s Day weekend is a challenging one in our house. We all miss my dad, and the kids see their friends celebrating their dads and it hits home that their dad not only isn’t present in their lives, but is actively trying to sabotage their safety and sense of peace.

Joy and sadness often travel together and Father’s Day is no exception. The best revenge is a life well lived, and that’s the only revenge I am interested in these days.

How can anyone doubt the existence of God when the world looks like this? I get upset with God at times, but I always know he’s walking beside me. I am so grateful that we are back here where we belong. I am grateful every day, but intentionally so this weekend, for the wonderful men in our lives who show my kids that men are good, strong, kind, wise, people of integrity.

My dad would be happy to see the man my boy is turning into.

Standard