Small changes bring big results

I had the opportunity that allowed me to reflect on what my life would be like now if I hadn’t started making small changes all those years ago. I would be someone I  wouldn’t recognize – in fact even when I look back on that old life I can’t believe that was me.

I think about the day I fell on the floor and prayed for change, it was almost 6 years ago, after the incident at Canadian Thanksgiving. It seemed like change took forever to happen, yet here we are now living a life completely different life. Small changes, big results.

What if I was that person I used to be still? I’d be broken. Totally and completely broken. Living a life I wasn’t made for, pretending to be someone else, lost and sad.

Sometimes I feel like it takes too long for the changes to occur – I get impatient. I’ve been working for this better life for so long. The boy reminded me the other day mom – you yourself said that sometimes God has to wait until you’re totally broken apart so He can put you back together. And that’s true. I’m so damn stubborn, it takes a lot before I’ll accept the help I need. This shoulder thing has been a good lesson for me in learning to accept help and appreciate the kindness of those around me. Today, on week 8 after my fall, a neighbour is still bringing us a weekly meal. Every single Monday she’s shown up with something for us. Talk about an act of kindness.

All those small changes brought Drishti into my life. He was my drishti years before I knew he existed.

If you don’t know how he came to have his name – here’s a recap:

A dristhi is a specific point of focus that is used during meditation or while holding a yoga pose. The reason for the focal point is due to the belief that where our gaze is directed, our attention naturally flows. It is a way of looking for the Divine everywhere, and it allows us to see God in everything. It blocks out the clutter and noise, and keeps our intention set on what is important.  Focus all of your attention on your drishti and all the chaos of the world disappears and you are able to connect with God. 

For me, horses always have been my spiritual vehicle. When things were bad and I was so out of balance, I prayed for and focused my attention (set my drishti) on having a horse to ride again. So, when through a series of miracles this horse came to my life I knew his name was Drishti. He makes the chaos of my world disappear so I can focus on what is important.

If it weren’t for all the small changes, this wouldn’t be my life now. And I love my life now. And that is happiness.




Old time memories

I went into the Home Hardware in town today to get burlap sacks that could be used in a sack race to be held during a party we are holding at the Hall this weekend. Thank goodness for Home Hardware – the store that holds everything – because those sacks are harder to find than one might think.

I was explaining to the store clerk that I needed them for a sack race and she said I haven’t done one of those races since we used to go to the horse show at Beaupre years ago. I said I used to go to those shows too! And then we were standing in the aisle for a good half hour sharing old time memories.

I’ve done a lot of showing over the years – including some A circuit shows and had a few turns at Spruce Meadows (in their smaller rings) – but to this day my favourite memories are of going to shows like the one they used to hold at Beaupre. There were “real” events like flat classes and some over fences stuff, but the best ones were the “fun” events like pole bending, musical tires (how we didn’t all die during that one I”ll never understand), and potato sack races. SO MUCH FUN

And so easy and simple. Just a bunch of crazy kids and our horses – and equally crazy parents who got up super early and got us to the show. Good times. Happiness.



45 degrees 

In huge personal news, I lay down this morning to do some of my exercises and I was able to move my arm to about a 45 degree angle! This is a huge improvement from having no mobility at all after I broke it. There’s still not a lot of lateral movement and it still hurts like a fother mucker but it’s an improvement. 

Happy dances all around. 


Fly me to the moon 

My boy got a chance to show me how much he loves to jump today. For the first time I put him over some cavaletti- at first he thought they were the scariest things in the world, but in very short order he was running around, jumping them of his own accord. 

The boy can jump! I love to jump. Soon we will do this together. It’s passion, passion is happiness. 

On that note, I listened to the boy talk about his hopes and dreams on the way to town. It’s an exciting time with the whole world ahead of him. I hope nothing ever happens to crush his dreams, that he never lets that passion fade. Mostly that will mean not listening to the people who tell him it’s not possible. There are lots of dream killers, with both good and bad intentions. 

Listen to your soul. Let your heart sing. Find your dharma. That is the road to happiness. 


Labour day 2017

Going to the Cochrane parade is one of my favorite events of the year. It’s kind of bittersweet because it means the end of summer, but I’ve got a lifetime of awesome memories attached to that parade. 

My friend in low places was riding in the parade this year. We used to ride in it every year with our Pony Club back in the day. She was a little more professional now 

But even though the parade has grown and we have grown up it’s still the same good fun. 

We sat with my cousin and her family and caught up and shared some laughs. We have been laughing and making bad decisions together our entire lives. 

Happiness. End of summer happiness. 


What I know 

I know nothing about how to ride western. I know how to grab onto the horn, I know it’s totally different from English, I know I’m not very good at it. 

I don’t really know why I spent most of the summer riding my green horse in my Western saddle instead of my English one. I kept thinking that I would learn I guess. And I kind of was, but it’s still not where I’m comfortable. Actually, before I smashed to the ground, I had switched back to English for a few rides and we both were happier. 

I’ll still learn how to ride Western – or at least how to hang on better in my saddle – but I remembered tonight how much I love jumping. It’s what I know. I love that adrenaline rush and the trust that comes with a really good jump. 

I was playing with Drishti and decided to do what I know. So I put together a really rough style jump and asked him what he knew

At first he was a little snorty, but still game to play. 

By the end he was quite enjoying himself. This was about 2’6

This is totally in my comfort zone. This is what I did forever. I know how to play with him with poles and fences. I know how to build up our trust and confidence doing stuff like this. 

And it’s fun. I love it. It’s happiness.