happiness

Good sport

My boy got cut during basketball tryouts today. He was devastated but even as he was telling me (and I was sad and upset) he squared his shoulders and said but the coach asked me to be manager. I won’t play but I’ll still go to all the games and help out.

That boy. I am so proud of him. He took his sad situation and turned it around. He will make a great manager for the team.

Proud mama happiness moment.

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happiness

Happiness blogs

I started this blog almost 3 years ago on my 44th birthday. I was still in the beginning stages of working my way out of my dark night of the soul years (sometimes I feel like I’m still at the beginning, but I’m not). I began with the idea that I would do 44 days of happiness – my goal was that every day I would have to find something that made me happy and I would write about it. Sometimes those happiness moments were really hard to find at the beginning, I think I wrote a lot about Henry the Heron who I used to see every morning on my walk. I remember many times the day being over and me realizing I still hadn’t had a moment of happiness and making sure I did something right away so I could say I had done one thing that had brought me some joy.

I think now about how small and unhappy my life was then. I mean really, in the last 3 years my entire life has imploded, gone sideways, blown up, and been shaken like I live inside a snowglobe and still I have found moments of happiness every day. Thank God I trained myself to look for them or I would have been having a right pity party.

My life now still is pretty uncertain, full of bumps, and honestly I have no idea what I’m doing – but it’s so much happier. We are home, we are safe, we are free. Those are big words. It has helped me incredibly to have a check in every day and find something to be grateful for, something that made me happy, to express gratitude.

This morning I found an email from feedspot.com saying they had chosen my blog as one of their top 75 happiness blogs – I am number 64. Look it up here

Seriously how cool is that?

I even got a little award to put on my blog – that was a smile filled moment of happiness.

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happiness

Give a hug

Today as I was driving into the parkade at the hospital I witnessed a remarkable moment of tenderness. A couple about my age was walking outside when the woman stopped and started crying. The man with her pulled her in and gave her a huge hug and held her while she sobbed. It was a very powerful moment to witness. She was obviously so hurt and he just stepped in and held her and held space for her while she let it out.

I had a meeting after that with a woman who was brought on the wings of love into our life and who will be able to provide a lot of help for my mom (and for all of the rest of us too). When we were done talking she stood up and turned to me and said stand up, you look like you need a hug. I’m going to give you a hug.  And little miss “dont-touch-me” stood up and let this woman hug some of my hurt out too.

Hugs are powerful, little acts of kindness can make all the difference in someone’s day. Do them. We all need to do them. They are happiness gifts.

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Keeping the faith

I woke up this morning pretty ticked off with God. There’s no nice way to say it, I wasn’t questioning His existence, but rather questioning why He seems to enjoy seeing how much I can take before I break.

Yesterday the boy told me how he felt that his generation hasn’t been raised in the church and he that blamed my generation for that. He said how grateful he was that I’d taken them to church and led them on a path to get to know God.

With that in mind I took my pity party to church this morning in hopes that the sermon would provide me some comfort. It didn’t. It probably annoyed me more than any sermon has in years. Fortunately it was a guest speaker, but I will be happy to not have to hear him again.

I left church still pretty pissy with God. As we came over the hill on our way home and looked out over the ranch and the mountains I stopped the car. I said this is how I know God exists and that he’s not a complete jerk. Look at how beautiful this is, only love could make something so amazing.

Figures since I’ve always found God at the ranch. But it’s not just the place, although it’s very spiritual for me, it’s the people – the tribe – who remind me that God exists in everything.

I stopped by my uncle and aunt’s place to pick up some food for my mom. Watching how my family loves and cares for each other – that’s God stuff, that’s God in the details, that is a reminder that we aren’t walking this journey alone. That is happiness

A photo my dad took of the mountains in the background of the ranch. This is my spiritual happy ground

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happiness

Look around

I have spent the last week really humbled by the amount of love and compassion I have seen in the people around me.

If you are able to stop and look around – really look into the souls of the people you walk by – are they living with love or living with fear? I’ve spent a lot of time recently with people who are in fearful situations and yet they are pouring love out of their souls. It is a beautiful thing and it is happiness.

And as an extra moment of happiness, I get to look into this face, these eyes, every single day. How blessed am I?

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Laugh yourself silly

This afternoon the girl (the social animal of our family) organized some friend time for herself. It’s the one downside of living in the country – that friend get togethers take a little more organization. She went and watched a friend play a volleyball game and then they walked to get ice cream. May not sound like much, but it’s a totally different world for her having all that independence.

The boy and I hung out and did some errands while she socialized. That kid was ON today and was cracking so many jokes my tummy hurt from laughing. Not only that, but we sat in a booth at Tim Horton’s for a while and his friends came in – not only did he acknowledge my existence in front of his friends, but I actually got to join them. That was a pretty awesome moment.

Laughter, it really is the best medicine. We needed a good belly laugh. I feel so much better for it, so much happier.

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The Christmas List

I got a massive text on my phone earlier this evening – a wish list from my daughter for Christmas. Proof that she is stuck in the years between, not quite a young adult, no longer a child. Makeup, hair accessories, earrings are on the list – but so are Lego, stuffies, and chocolate. I love it – grow up but stay a child my love.

She came into my room and sat beside me and giggled her way through her list. Christmas music is now allowed in our house (the kids put on the time ban not I).

It was just such a beautiful, normal moment. And that is where happiness is found, inside the small everyday things. It’s love, it’s happiness.

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