happiness

Bear in the mountains

We took Bear up to the mountains today. I’ve waited for years to have a dog I can take places – this guy is so chill and happy it’s awesome.

It was a perfect sunny afternoon. As we were walking I realized this was the happiest I’ve been for a long time. For a couple of hours there was no stress, everyone was getting along, and we had the happiest dog in the world. This is what I’m working towards as our normal state of being.

Bear scared of a bear statue.

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happiness

Snow bowl

We decided it was spring like enough outside this afternoon so the girls grabbed their bikes and I grabbed my dog and we went out for a walk.

I love our evening walks, I love listening to the cousins giggle, I love seeing the dog happy, and I love the peace of the country and the mountains. It balances my soul and that brings me to happiness.

The girls found a great little snow bowl drift and stopped for a little rest along the way. They have so much fun together

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Keeping the faith

I woke up this morning pretty ticked off with God. There’s no nice way to say it, I wasn’t questioning His existence, but rather questioning why He seems to enjoy seeing how much I can take before I break.

Yesterday the boy told me how he felt that his generation hasn’t been raised in the church and he that blamed my generation for that. He said how grateful he was that I’d taken them to church and led them on a path to get to know God.

With that in mind I took my pity party to church this morning in hopes that the sermon would provide me some comfort. It didn’t. It probably annoyed me more than any sermon has in years. Fortunately it was a guest speaker, but I will be happy to not have to hear him again.

I left church still pretty pissy with God. As we came over the hill on our way home and looked out over the ranch and the mountains I stopped the car. I said this is how I know God exists and that he’s not a complete jerk. Look at how beautiful this is, only love could make something so amazing.

Figures since I’ve always found God at the ranch. But it’s not just the place, although it’s very spiritual for me, it’s the people – the tribe – who remind me that God exists in everything.

I stopped by my uncle and aunt’s place to pick up some food for my mom. Watching how my family loves and cares for each other – that’s God stuff, that’s God in the details, that is a reminder that we aren’t walking this journey alone. That is happiness

A photo my dad took of the mountains in the background of the ranch. This is my spiritual happy ground

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Avoiding sadness 

When I started this happiness journey it was my sincere desire to get to a permanent state of bliss. I naively thought that if I found something to be happy about every day I would one day be happy all the time. 

I’ve begun to understand lately that I need to feel the sadness. Pretending it’s not there and only focusing on the happiness means I’m not open to learn the lessons that pain beings and the strength that comes from that. I believe it’s important to shine light in the darkness and not focus on the bad, but in order to grow from it I need to acknowledge the sad times too. 

Sometimes life is just hard, some days have more tears than smiles, but every day is a gift. It really is. Feeling sadness also allows me to feel joy more intensely. 

Tonight there was an amazing sunset. I stood at the window with my mom and we watched it go behind the mountains. And that moment of happiness – it was a good one. 

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Waterton memories 

Waterton has long been one of my favourite places. I first went there on a school trip when I was 9 and it’s had a special place in my heart ever since. 

In recent years it’s become a happy place the kids and I have shared. There is a certain kind of peace we find in those mountains that we can’t find anywhere else. 

So today, as our beautiful haven is on fire, we spent some time with our happy memories of a place we love. It’s a special place for many of my friends as I’ve noticed them putting up some of their favourite Waterton photos. 

Nature will heal itself, it always does. But in the meantime we pray for the people and animals in the way of the fire. And remember all the happy moments we have spent in this magical place. 

It is my happy place. 

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The smoky mountains

We took an impulse drive to Banff this afternoon – how lucky are we that this wonderland is so close to our home. The drive was a little more tiring than I had thought it would be – shoulder is not happy with me – but the trade off was giggles and smiles from my monsters all afternoon. I feel like we’ve missed out on a lot of that this last month and we need to dedicate this last weekend of summer to fun.

The drive was insanely smoky, but interestingly enough Banff has less smoke than we have here so we were able to walk around and enjoy the mountains and the town. Best of all, after the fire last winter the candy shoppe has reopened so the kids got to get a treat. Happy happy happiness.

I definitely feed off the energy of the mountains and every so often I need to stand surrounded by them – in a mountain hug – and recharge myself.

I had coffee with a friend this afternoon and we both agreed we need to be doing some rebalancing. Funny how it’s so much harder to get back to centre than it is to lose it. But we work together and hold each other up and step by step we get there.

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