happiness

It’s an every day thing now

I came home this evening after dropping the girl off at a friend’s place to find a text from the boy asking for a ride back from my mom’s house. Then he decided he needed to stay longer and I would have to come later. It seems that they were watching a show and visiting and he wasn’t quite ready to come home.

That is one of the huge perks of living where we do. I have so many memories of going over to my grandma’s to have tea, a visit, or just be spoiled like only a grandparent can. Now my kids are able to do that as well. It’s not once or twice a year like it was for so long, it’s an every day thing now. And that is happiness.

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Tea and TV

The boy and I have got into the routine of spending an hour or so every evening together watching tv and drinking tea. It’s become a really nice way to unwind and share time with him. 

I find we often have to stop the show so he can tell me little things about his life, or to laugh at something funny. 

Mostly I am just so honored that these teenagers want to spend so much time with me. Family, it’s what it’s all about. It’s happiness. 

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Laughing at the table 

We had a group of family over for our thanksgiving meal today. There were about 20 of us which was perfect. 

It was so good to sit at that table and laugh and share food – they are a special bunch, our tribe. 

With all our blessings, there is a lot to be thankful for. This tribe, our family, they are the top of the list. Having a place to dig our roots into is priceless. And it’s happiness. 

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The moments between

Today was a moments between kind of day. After mom’s birthday, before thanksgiving which we celebrate tomorrow. I feel like there has been a lot going on in every aspect of my life and today I took some time to breathe, balance, and reassess where I’m at.

Things are shifting again. I guess life is full of constant change. For me security used to be represented as everything staying the same and me being able to sit in the knowledge that we are safe,  and I knew we were safe because nothing was going to change.

Things change all the freaking time. It’s like being a tree, I just have to be strong enough to bend in the winds of change.

And even though I continue to resist it, change is good. It either brings about something immediately joyful, or it brings pain which opens the door to change. 

Honestly, even though there has been a lot of pain the last couple of years, there has been so much more joy – sustainable happiness – soul fulfillment.

And in the moments between – when there are quiet spaces in life – it’s important to take notice of what is happening and be grateful. Especially this weekend as we celebrate thanksgiving.

I have so much to be thankful for – my God, my tribe, my home, my family, my friends, that miracle horse, our dog who narrowly escaped with her life a couple of days ago, and our too many cats.

We are home, we are safe, we are loved. That is a perfect recipe for happiness.

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Happy birthday mom

We celebrated my mom’s birthday tonight with a family supper. It always feels so good to have a bunch of people we love sit around that table and laugh and share stories just like we have for generations in that space. It’s sacred stuff this tribe. It’s happiness 

I’m so grateful for my mom. She’s taught me so much, has loved me unconditionally, and has been a good friend as well. 

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4H

My kids have joined the local 4H club and the first meeting of the year was tonight. As a Pony Club kid I never did 4H and was very happy with that, but I sure see the benefits my cousins received from the club 

We came in as new people and knew that one cousin would be here, but it turns out we are related to almost half the club. 

For kids who grew up always just known as the Canadians, and without any real ties or roots where they were living – this is huge. The longer that we are here the more they understand this is home. This is a place where they are loved, and where they belong. 

I’m excited about this new venture. I think it will open many doors for these kids. Happiness 

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Something about this house 

We were walking up to the house after school today and the boy stopped part way up the yard, looked up at our house, and said 

There’s something about this house. I don’t know, it’s the leaves and the snow, it’s just….

And the girl said 

It’s just home. This is the first house I’ve ever lived in that feels like home. It is filled with love and I love being home. 

I sometimes wonder if they miss their lives of privilege. They may have had a lot and lived in nice places, but they didn’t feel safe and secure and happy in any of those houses. 

The fact that this home is here for us and is holding us in love is a kind of happiness I have a hard time describing. This is my kids’ childhood- this is where their foundations begin for the adults they will become. 

Thanksgiving is a hard time for the three of us. It is a reminder of a very ugly incident in our family. And we have worked hard ever since to make happier memories to lay over that painful one. 

And moments like this I know we are on the right path, we will be ok, we are healing, we are finding happiness. 

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