happiness

It’s genetics

I’ve really been missing my parents lately, I find the season change seems to make grief reappear in ways that are just as raw as at the beginning. Grief is not at all like how I expected it to be, it’s not something you get over, more something you learn to live with.

I was looking through some old photos and came across one from when my family came to visit us in Roanoke the first Christmas we were there. One day we all went out for lunch and then walked the streets of Salem window shopping. I was walking behind the family when I noticed my dad and my son doing the exact same walk.

It’s a photo we’ve talked about often, but one I hadn’t been able to find. My dad meant a lot to my boy, he was his role model and father figure, and it broke my boy’s heart that dad died right after we moved home.

But I see my dad in my son all the time, they’ve got the same build, the same mannerism, and the same insane sense of humour.

Those genetics are strong.

Standard
happiness

Afraid of changing

I’ve always feared change, and if not feared it at least not welcomed it.

And yet my life has been full of change. Big moves, saying goodbye to friends and loved ones as I’d prepare my family for a new life.

This last move, our move home, should have been the easiest one of all- and yet it was not at all. The entire bottom fell out of my world and I had to stop and reassess everything I believed was true about my life.

I’m tired of change, I want things to stay the same, I want to get comfortable. And yet that’s not how one grows. Change is essential for growth, and pain is often what forces that to happen.

But sometimes change is beautiful. Letting go, even when we don’t want to, opens up the possibility for new and often better things and people to enter into our lives.

Today I had a beautiful fall drive through Bragg Creek to get my girl. It was a perfect day for leaf peeping and that’s a great area to do it in.

I’m learning not to resent all the change, some of it I’m embracing, and some of it I’m getting excited about.

Standard
happiness

Laughs and love

We had supper with my cousin and her husband tonight. It’s such an easy friendship to have with someone I’ve known my whole life – all my cousins are such a gift in my life.

I was really grateful for a few hours of laughter and sharing stories. We get so caught up in the day to day that often one forgets how important it is to maintain friendships and to enjoy the moment.

I had a good friend remind me today how vital it is to focus on the present moment instead of stressing about the past or the future.

Standard
happiness

End of summer hurrah

We finished off summer doing one of my favorite traditions – one I’ve done since I was a kid. We went to the Cochrane parade and rodeo.

Of course my favorite is always mutton busting, but it was all fun to watch – with the one exception of the poor cowboy and horse who went down in the bucking competition. They did both get up and run out of the ring, so I’m assuming they’re ok. The footing was very muddy, and it sure took a lot of care and skill to preform today.

Tomorrow we all start new chapters in our lives. Everyone is stressed, excited, happy, fearful… it’s a technicolor of emotion in our house. But when I look at where we all were last summer, we have come so far.

Standard