Quiet Christmas

I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle Christmas this year – my first one without mom.

Turns out it was a lovely day. Different, sad in some ways, but it was a very meaningful Christmas.

The kids and I spent a lot of time talking about mom and dad, sharing memories- but we also made new ones and really relaxed into the present moment.

And we were surrounded by our tribe which made it all happier and more filled with love. What would we do without our tribe? I am so grateful for these people.

Everyone has their own struggles, the joy and sadness mixed together. But as long as love is the main theme we will all be just fine

And as an addd bonus we are all full of grandmas Christmas sauce


Joy to the world

Family and friends joined together today to say goodbye to my great-aunt. She was an amazing lady who raised a loving family, and was kind of a hub of the community.

For years Christmas and Canada day parties have been held at her place – and they are some of my favourite events of the year. There was always lots of family and food and laughter every time I was at her place.

It was hard watching people I love grieve the loss of their mother, made me realize how much of my own grieving I have yet to do. But also it was beautiful to be a part of this ritual. Seeing family and friends come together and support and love each other – that’s what it’s all about.

Instead of regular hymns, we sang a couple of Christmas carols as it was a more fitting tribute to my aunt who loved Christmas.


Grinch houses

We did our annual gingerbread house building tonight. I’ve learned that I have gingerbread control issues and I need my own house.

I’m not good at it, in fact it looks like a drunk toddler did my house, but I seem to need to tell the kids how to do theirs. So now I get my own

This year though, after my house falling apart 3 times and much swearing, the girl booted me out of my seat so she could fix things.

They may not be pretty, but we laughed so hard. It’s a great tradition. We need the laughs, it’s hard accepting mom isn’t here this year.


Little miracles

I spent some time today with a friend talking about our intentions for the new year. We both have been so busy in survival mode and putting out fires that neither of us had had the time or energy to properly focus on examining exactly what we do and don’t want in our lives.

When I am in crisis mode it’s almost impossible for me to also be in creative mode.

Crisis mode has now ended (God I hope) and it’s time to really set my mind and heart to what I want to be coming next. I need to be the co-creator of my life.

I’ve had so many little miracles that have guided me to this point. There is no doubt for me who the other co-creator is. And I am well aware that my life would be much easier if I listened better to my divine guidance and actually surrendered. I’m not very good at either. But I sure notice an increase in life miracles when I’m better aligned with my Source


dolce far niente

The sweetness of doing nothing

We are sick today – all of us. Chills, stuffy nose, upset tummy, we’ve got it covered.

And so I spent the day on the couch… watching Mama Mia, Mama Mia here we go again, and lastly Eat, Pray, Love

Mama Mia because the movies make me happy, and who doesn’t love ABBA?

Eat, Pray, Love because it was one of the first books I read on my journey towards discovering my inner light.

When she’s in Italy she discovers the sweetness of doing nothing, or il dolce far niente. Today we put that thought to practice and rested, did nothing, watched tv shows we love, shared space, and actually let go of some of the stress of life.

Hopefully tomorrow brings much better health and we can also enjoy the sweetness of doing – but it was a real treat to just revel in the moment of doing nothing.