I’m noticing that some of my happiness moments are also moments of sadness these days. The happiness outshines the sadness, but there is this bittersweet feeling that comes along with it. 

For example, today I had two happiness moments. I had bought flats of fruit yesterday. Blackberries (the best I’ve had in years), blueberries, strawberries, and cherries. So, today I had to deal with them. Dad always made the best freezer jam, my favorite being strawberry. He showed me how to make it, and I’ve made a few batches over the years. I’d kind of given up recently as it seemed every time I made a nice batch we would move and I’d have to give it all away. Last year I made what would end up being my last batch of jam with Dad while we were home for the summer. Today’s jam making was a happiness moment because I love jam and I love the memories of making jam with Dad. It was sad because it made me miss him oh so much. 

Since I was missing him, I kept on going down my emotional berry journey and made a blackberry pie. When my sister and I  were kids and we would go to Vancouver Island, Dad would go blackberry crazy and we would be out in ditches with buckets picking away. We then had to drive all the way back to Calgary with flats of blackberries in the back of the car (a 12 hour drive). One of the smells of my childhood is blackberries. Blackberries and horses…

  
It was over 30C here today. My car said 37C while I was driving around town. Hot hot hot. After we were done errands, I took the kids down to the creek. One of the best places on earth. 

  
Another happiness moment. One of the best summer moments is at the creek. We are so blessed that we can head down there when we want to cool down or just relax and enjoy the beauty. I have so many memories of being down at this spot. I used to ride my horse down there when I was a kid. Dad would take us swimming there, in the winter we’d skate down the creek. One of Dad’s favorite walking places is the ridge above, and we used to go look at wild flowers along the buffalo jumps. The last thing we did last summer before flying back to Virginia was go to the creek with Dad. I’m so grateful we had those creek moments last year. Again, bittersweet because it kicked me in the gut and made me miss him so. 

The kids were happily running towards the water while I stood there and bawled behind my sunglasses. 

But, the happiness outweighs the sadness. I’m thankful for all the fun memories and thankful we are still able to enjoy happiness. Dad embraced life so completely , I knew he spoke be happy to know that we were enjoying happiness moments that reminded me of him.