For at least the last year Jacob has had a lot of questions about where he comes from. He wants to know his roots and understand more about his family. 

He always has lots of questions about his great grandma (my grandma). He has some memories of her – she died when he was 2.5 – and often talks about remembering visiting with her. 

Starting a few months ago he started asking to go visit her grave. It’s not a place I’ve been back to since she was buried. For me, if I need to feel close to her, I just sit in her kitchen. Which is easy since that’s where my parents live and is a 30 second walk away. 

But, he had a really strong need to go to the graveyard. So we went. I went for Jacob, but I also went for Grandma. I remember she used to take me there to visit Grandpa’s grave and put flowers there. Then she would walk me around and look at the other graves. My great grandparents are there, as are many great aunts and uncles.  The doctor who delivered me is there. All of “old Cochrane” is there. She would show me where everyone was buried and tell me stories about them. 

I realized that even though it may not have a lot of meaning for me, it had a lot of meaning for Grandma. That she would probably appreciate flowers and a visit there. 

 
So we went there. After a little searching we found the graves. 

Not knowing how I would feel being there, I was amazed at the sense of peace I felt being in that place. It was actually a huge sort of comfort standing amidst past family and friends. Really standing there in our roots. 

I did notice that there was a planter in the middle of my grandparents’ headstones and although it was too cold today to leave flowers out, I will go back and put a pot of geraniums there when it warms up. 

So, my happiness moment of the day today is kind of a weird happiness moment. It’s not one of screaming joyous laughter. Today it is the happy feeling of standing in the roots of family and the feeling of love and belonging that grows out of that. It’s a deep seated contented  happiness that I am grateful for. 

Because it was rainy and cold out, afterwards we went to a local coffee shop and had tea, hot cocoa and a little treat. A different kind of happiness.