One thing I’m discovering during this year of actively seeking happiness moments is that, for me anyway, happiness is a choice. But not a choice in the manner I would have thought before beginning this journey, a different way of making choices. More like a way of allowing happiness.
For me, happiness as a choice means that I’m always reaching for better and happier thoughts and feelings. This also means that if I’m feeling sad or mad or just like general crap then I’m not going to be able to force myself to be happy just because I want to. It means honouring the feeling that I have and reaching for a better one. Looking for rays of sunshine even on cloudy days.
It’s leading to a lot more sunshine. My life is getting happier and better every day. And considering all that has happened this year, I think that’s quite the accomplishment. Dad lived his life so fully that I feel driven to continue to find happiness and joy even in the dark moments.
At the end of it all, what I will have are memories and impressions on my soul. It’s pretty important that I choose ones that will make my soul complete and at peace.
This afternoon I headed to the creek with my kids, my sister and her kids. All of us there for the first time without Dad. And we got to choose how to feel about that. Sadness was there for sure, feelings of grief and a deep to the core of my being sense of missing Dad. But, there was something else. Joy, happiness, peace, love, all those emotions were also there.
Creeking is something my family has done since before my time. It’s an activity that brings balance and peace to all of us. As my sister said lying out on my mattress on the creek brings me back to myself. To the myself that is way inside under all the other stuff. The real me. Your Atman, or true self. It’s a very important part of our lives. One that we always shared with dad, but one that we need to keep on doing even though he’s not here with us.
As we all stood out there in the amazingly warm water (it’s fed from the mountains and often is so cold that our feet hurt and go numb), I could feel Dad there with us. Smiling as he saw his family continue to choose happiness. And then he got a little sassy and flipped my sister’s mattress over as she swam down the creek.
The happiness moment of the day. Family fun time at the place that brings us back into balance.
