I was talking with a friend this afternoon who is also thinking of selling her house. They’ve had a bunch of false starts over the past year about getting the house ready, having possible jobs fall through, having people want to buy the house and then back out… we can totally relate to each other’s unrest and uncertainty. We were chatting about it today and I said “I’m trying, I know it will work out, I’m strong on faith, just low on patience”. We laughed because – aren’t we all?
She said “It would be nice if God would just turn on the light at the end of the tunnel once in a while so we could see where we are going.”
I totally agreed. It does not even have to turn on and stay on, just one of those quick flickers so you can look around and get your bearings and know that everything’s going to be ok. Because it will be. One way or another.
It’s just the having patience part that is difficult.
Jacob got up early this morning and came and flopped on my bed while I sat in my chair drinking my tea and playing fetch with Ella. I told him that it didn’t seem all that long ago I could just pick him up and throw him down on the bed. My little-baby-who-is-now-a-man-with-deep-voice. I told him about how I’d throw him and then tickle him, until one day I threw him and then fell on top of him because I wasn’t strong enough to throw anymore.
He came and lay beside me in my chair, all stretched out looking so comfortable. I looked down at him and with fingers twitching said “Whey you were little Jacob I used to move my hands just like this and then come down and tickle you!!!” Which I then did. And he curled up in a little ball just like he used to when he was little Jacob and giggled and squirmed and didn’t want me to stop, just like little Jacob used to. It did my heart good to have that morning moment with my little boy, and he came to me later this afternoon and said “that was really fun with you this morning mom, it made me feel like a little kid again. We need to do that more often.”
My moment of happiness.