Including the weekend, the kids have had 5 days off from school. It’s cancelled tomorrow as well so we are sure of at least 6 home days. They’ve been good days to relax and recharge, but by today Jenna (my social child) was getting a bit bored and anxious to see someone who wasn’t well… her brother or me.

Fortunately there is a girl her age whose grandparents live across the street and she was visiting them today. This girl lived with the grandparents for the first few months that we lived here, then they moved away until this past fall. It’s fun to watch their friendship. They were good friends before this other girl moved, and even though they didn’t keep in contact at all while they were apart, they’re still good friends now.

These girls played outside in the cold weather and the snow for a good 5 hours today. Sledding, building forts, running around and basically having a good time.

This place has been a lonely one for all of us and it warmed my heart to see Jenna out there having so much fun with a good friend.

It got me thinking about my friendships. When we moved to Quebec I was extremely fortunate and I met an excellent group of ladies who became close friends of mine. It was the first time since I had my group of riding friends when I was younger where I had this larger base of people I was close to, but not related to. In Rhode Island I had lots of friends, although not as close. And here –  very few friends, more acquaintances – not close – fortunately, one that I’d call a real true friend (although, to be fair one good friend is all I need).

I made a conscious decision about friends when we moved here. I realized I was not attracting the types of people I wanted in my life. I was bringing in people who weren’t bringing out the best in me, not making me want to be a better person, and some of them were just plain mean and hurtful. I understood that in order to have better friends, I needed to learn how to be a better friend. So I stopped. I withdrew for a long period of self reflection. I picked out the things that I really wanted in friendships, and I started working on making those aspects stronger in myself.

I can tell it’s working because my lifelong friendships with friends and family back home have strengthened substantially. I’ve worked really hard to put efforts back into those relationships and grow and strengthen them. The relationships I have with my kids have strengthened in ways that bring me joy on a daily basis. I can see that finally I’m becoming the friend I’ve always wanted.

Years ago we were in Italy for my cousin’s wedding and I saw two little old ladies wandering arm in arm up the street. They were weaving from side to side because they were laughing so hard, and they were arm in arm to hold each other up as they dissolved in giggles. At that moment I decided to make it a mission to make sure I had a friend like that to grow old with.

I’m lucky because there’s a strong *girl power* influence in my extended family. With a sister and numerous girl cousins (I have some pretty awesome boy cousins too), I am fortunate to have a girl tribe back home that will always be my dear friends.

I also been deepening my friendships with childhood friends, old riding friends, friends from school. Friendships I had neglected for too long, but finally have enough *good* stuff to put back into a relationship to make it functional. I’ve also let go of that need to try and present a perfect front. You are my friend then you get me warts and all. It makes for more honest relationships and trusted friendships. It’s so important to have people you can deeply trust in your life, and to be a person who can be deeply trusted.

Today, day 24 of the 44 days of happiness, I dedicate to the joy and happiness found in dear friendships. They are such an important part of life.