Tag Archives: friendship

happiness

Sushi Saturday 

We managed to have a much needed quiet  family day today. This has been a really weird week filled with a lot of emotion and at the end of it – I’m tired. 

This week I stood in the middle of the storm while my only fear that did not happen in the process of leaving my marriage played out for someone else in my tribe. It allowed me to sort through buried emotions I didn’t know I had and made me realize that I was strong enough to ride out that storm with someone else. I am thankful I was there for her, but I’m also thankful for the healing gifts it gave me. 

My moment of happiness was gathering around the table with my monsters this evening for a massive sushi pig out. It was nice to settle back into regular family routine again. I’m so happy my boy is back. Jenna finished the meal by saying I knew we should have worn stretchy pants. Wise words. 

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Reconnecting 

I have had the strangest 24+ hours that I can recall. Emotions have run high and priorities have been reassessed. I have decided a couple of really positive things have come out of this time. 

One is that I have reconnected with a dear, old friend after a 20 year absence in a deep and honest way that couldn’t have happened if circumstances had been different. There’s nothing like a situation that causes you to drop all your guards down and look at the bare bones of what is needed to see what a person is truly made of. This lady is one strong and brave woman. 

The other is that it had made me dump out a few remaining bags of emotional garbage I was carrying around from the end of my marriage. Stuff I didn’t even know was still sitting there. I emptied it out and have sorted through so much and in such a healing way. It’s a rare person who has experienced so many of the same situations, even if done in different ways. I think it’s been very healing for both of us. I am grateful for that.

My happiness moment was a brief time spent at the creek. In my opinion it’s about one of the most healing places I could ever go to. 

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Skate with friends 

Even with this move home, it’s taken us a while to feel totally settled and grounded in our space. Things change a lot in 10 years – and for the kids that was almost all of their lives. 

Finally though they’re gathering a good group of friends, forming their tribe. These are the friendships they’ll be able to hold onto through the rest of their lives because they were made here,  in their home base. No more transient life for us. 

Jenna had a skating party to celebrate the end of her learning to skate class this afternoon. They were allowed to bring a friend, so she brought one of her school buddies. Their friendship has been deepening over the past few months and it brings me such joy to see them laughing and having fun together. 

  
My happiness moment today, watching them giggle their way around the ice. Seeing my kids express true joy brings me deep happiness. 

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Just relax 

Today I cashed in my birthday present – a massage, which was so desperately needed. 

There has been a lot of stress and upset in our house the last month or so. I’m so thankful we have had this happiness journey to guide us as we navigate this new course. It’s amazing how successful it is to change our mood by pointing our focus in a more positive direction. 

I went to this massage therapist a few times in the months after my Dad died, so she was already familiar with a bit of what has gone on in life life over the past year. 

I went in an overtired, stressed out, sad mess – but I left feeling so much calmer, confident, and secure. It’s amazing what a little bit of TLC will do for the body and soul. 

My happiness moment was when we shared a big hug before I left her place. It’s so healing to spend time with someone who is able to help put my being back into a more loving and kind place. 

As a secondary happiness moment, the kids and I cuddled up on the couch and watched The Goldbergs. This show has been a favourite of ours since it came on the air. 

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Matching cousins 

A few years ago these cousins got together at our house and dressed themselves in very cool matching shirts (that their very cool mothers bought for them). They’ve grown up  thousands of miles apart but always managed to maintain a close relationship through visits and FaceTime (FaceTime is great for keeping people connected).

Now that we are back home, all each one has to do is stand on their front porch and yell across the yard to see what the other one is up to. It brings great joy to my heart to watch these two girls outside exploring, giggling, and enjoying each other’s company.

My happiness moment today was that they once again got themselves organized for a matching shirt photo (this time shirts provided by my very cool mom). They’re growing into such beautiful young ladies.  

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Tea for Two

I love it when I wake up and know in advance that I will have at least one happiness moment to be excited about in the day. Even though we have been back home for almost a year, I still have a small list of friends with whom I have not been able to have a really good sit down visit. Pathetic I know, but when you combine a really busy life with my being a socially awkward introvert, it’s amazing I ever get together with anyone. I am remembering now that I’m back around my tribe how very important it is for me to actually get out with friends and talk and laugh and share.

This afternoon I met with a dear old friend that I have not had a really good visit with in years – like since our kids were all in diapers. Since coming back I have run into her at the grocery store a couple of times which was a great way to have a quick catch up, but nothing like what sitting down over a cup of tea and sharing will do for the soul.

I’m so grateful for this friendship. We are unlikely friends in that we are different in so many ways. And yet, since the first time I met her we have had this strong bond that has drawn us together. Generally I have a really difficult time opening up with people, and she’s one of those very rare people with whom I know I can safely share absolutely anything.

We had a wonderful two hour tea (which turned out to be much too short), and we shared where our lives have gone over the past 10 years since we last visited. Had we shared back then where we thought we would be right now I don’t think either of us would have predicted the paths our lives have taken. It is such a gift to have someone that you can reflect on your journey with – someone who just listens without judgement and shares their own in the same manner.

We left our visit having decided that the time has come for our families to tighten our bond. Her husband is the godfather of my Jenna and they don’t know each other at all. But, now that we are living in the same town and travelling on similar life paths, all of that can be rebuilt.

There are so many gifts that are coming out of what seemed to be such an uncertain and scary time. It helps me so much to know that I have so many people now with whom I can share my journey with – in happiness and in sorrow. That support of the tribe makes the trip so much more enjoyable. A beautiful happiness moment shared over a cup of tea.

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Sisterhood

There is something special about a relationship with a sister that makes it different from any other relationship. Perhaps it’s the fact that we have known each other since our beginning here, we know each other’s flaws and those things that make each other great.

There no need to pretend to be anyone other than who we are when we are together. But, that part of our relationship is something that has come with time, maturity, commitment, and work. We have navigated our way through trying to be who we think each other thinks we should be, and who we think our family thinks we should be, and have finally settled into a very comfortable state of just being with each other.

here we are in a weird state of just being with each other… (I still have my monkey costume, both my kids have worn it)

Today we got to sit down and have a long and uninterrupted chat with each other. For the past 14 years one of us has had little kids or diversions that have kept us from just sitting and talking. She still has little kids, but somehow today things worked in the perfect way that gave us this opportunity to just sit and be together. We talked about everything, from our feelings about Dad dying, to our parenting skills, to what we think we will be like as little old ladies. It’s such a treasure to have someone to talk to where conversation is so easy.

I’ve written about it here before, but Mom reminded us today that this is when real life happens – in the little moments – and it’s so important to be able to sit down and take advantage of them when they come our way.

Today my happiness moment was that sacred time spent with my sister. I’m blessed to have her in my life.

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When a door closes, another one opens. 

This morning  I went out for my last sunflower walk here at the Tamaya Resort. I very intentionally went “backwards” so that I could walk halfway, stand at the Rio Grande and say thank you to Dad, to the river, to God; and then walk the last part of the path guided by Dad’s sunflowers.

To my initial disappointment, when I arrived at the river there was a lady already standing there. She looked like she was happily enjoying the view, but she was at my place where I had important emotional things I wanted to do. 

Then that lady and I made eye contact and I realized it was Susan, a woman I had shared lunch with a couple of days ago. Every once in a while you meet someone you just click with and I felt that click over lunch. We have a lot in common, but also are very different. Whatever the case, we had that click of a friendship. 

We stood at my spot at the river and hugged and chatted a bit. She was heading in the direction I had just come from and I asked if I could join her and walk together back to the hotel. 

It amazes me when I just  meet someone and already feel so comfortable with them. We talked about our lives and our journeys. When we were at the house of hummingbirds, she said she was taking this course in part in search of her tribe. Right away my ears perked up. I have been actively seeking out my tribe too. I think we may be tribe members. 

As I was packing up I was thinking about having run into her. She said it was interesting how we kept crossing paths (it’s a big place and I’m not a part of this course) and how it must mean something. I thought of how my intention had been to go have a really emotional moment of gratitude at the river for the healing it has offered me. How instead of that intended moment, I walked forward into a new friendship. 

My moment of happiness and of deep gratitude.  I feel every day like I’m making steps ahead on this journey, but big spiritual stuff happened for me these past few days. Fitting that I again was guided on how to move forward instead of standing still with the past. 

Good bye New Mexico, you hold a blessed place in my heart. 

  

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The best days of my life 

Today was one of those big happiness days. We packed so much into the day, I’m kind of amazed I’m still upright- and it’s only 9pm. 

Jenna and I did a last hurrah road trip for the summer. We went to Waterton, which is one of my happiness places. 

On the way there we stopped in Pincher Creek and had lunch with one of my forever friends. I can’t remember meeting her, she’s just always kind of been there. I was probably around 6 though and we were on our ponies in Pony Club when we would have met. We have seen each other through almost every phase of life. 

This last phase (the holy crap we are adults one) has been a bit more challenging though, as we both have lived a bit of the gypsy lifestyle and moved all over the place – and usually in opposite directions. 

Thanks partially to social media but mostly to a solid foundation, we were able to sit down today after a 14 year absence and yack non stop the entire lunch – while Jenna sat there looking at is like we were aliens. Why are you guys speaking  in  two word sentences and then doubling  over in laughter? 

Because that’s how we have aways been. That lunch was a big happiness moment today. She was around for some of the best days of my life, and even with the difficult emotions of this year, I feel like I am back in the best days of my life. Happiness is growing all around. 

Jenna and I headed to Waterton after our walk. I’d read a blog by BettyLivin and took her advice about a trail towards Blakiston Falls. Of course, I hadn’t read her blog recently and thought I had a better memory than I actually do, so we ended up just walking to the Falls instead of the canyon I was searching for – which still was beautiful and a lot of fun. 

  

Then back to the town for some rock skipping at the lake. An important tradition. 

Bison paddock on the way home. They were only about 30 feet off the road. This was taken with my iPhone. It was a little too close for comfort. We were in our car and on the road, but I still sat there with my foot on the gas. I have no idea how the guy on a buffalo (who is a family friend) ever got on one of those. No thank you. 
   

I’m so grateful these best days of my life keep coming. I’m thankful for old friends I’m reconnecting with and new ones I’m making. For the feeling of stability and security. For the smiles of joy on my kids’ faces as they tell me how happy they are to be home. There is much that is right in the world. 

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New to the area. 

We have moved many times in the last 10 years and every time it’s been a struggle to meet new friends and develop some sort of feeling of belonging. For sure some places were easier than others, but in every case it was about two years before we felt like we were beginning to have some kind of sense of having a life there. Interestingly, in Quebec it happened faster and in Virginia it was  much slower. 

This move home is different from the other moves in that, well, it is home. But still we have been gone 10 years. I am lucky because I have family here and all my childhood friends. For the kids, it’s a little tougher. They’re still the new kids even though they see people they know all the time and have a strong sense of belonging. 

Today Jenna went to a birthday party and I was at the door talking to the mom. She leads Jenna’s VBS group so I’d chatted with her before but never really had a conversation. She welcomed Jenna in and after talking to me for a couple of minutes said she’d love to go out for coffee with me sometime because she knows what it’s like to be new in town and how difficult it is to meet people. I explained to her that this was our move home to where we belonged and that we had family and friends around, but that I would love to get together with her and get to know her better. She’s a horse person so you know it’s a friendship made in heaven.  

I was thinking after though, what an act of kindness. Having moved to an area where we were not welcomed at all and where no effort was made to get to know us (the onus in this area was on us to constantly be the ones reaching out), how lovely to have someone reach out because they know the feeling of being new. 

That was my happiness moment for the day. An act of kindness by hopefully a soon to be friend. 

This happiness moment was followed up by taking Jacob out for gelato and running into my cousin sitting kicking a fine with her kids. Impromptu visit. Awesome. And yes, we also went to Mackay’s for ice cream yesterday. It’s summer and 30C out. It was heart happy. 

Jacob told me on the way home how he feels so grounded and safe here. We all need to be safe and secure. 

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