happiness

Tears in the wind 

For the first time in ages I took my Dotted Dog out for a walk along the ridge. It was still pretty windy, and a little muddy and icy, but it was certainly nice to get outside and spend some healing time in nature. It’s been a few months since I have done this particular walk and I forgot that as soon as I got to the spot where we had scattered some of Dad’s ashes I would have to stop and cry. It was blowing so hard that the wind took away my tears almost as soon as they were out of my eyes. I wonder how much longer it will be before those tears come without warning. Dad would have loved the walk along the ridge tonight.

I go on all the time about how happy I am that we are home and how much I love it here – but seriously… look at this place. I am grateful every moment of every day that God brought us back where we belong. We are home, we are safe, we are loved.

Today I met with an agency to discuss children who could participate with Celebrate Every Child. I had to give a little talk about myself and how it was that the idea, the dream, for this project came to be. It was pretty emotional as I had to put myself back where we were a year ago when we were in such a scary and uncertain place. I had just filed for divorce, our finances had been completely cut off, I was in the process of discovering so many painful things about the life I had been living. I had to go back even before that to the life we lived where there was so much pain and fear, so much hurt and sadness. And then I got to talk about how my tribe stepped in and helped me and my kids when we were at our bottom, when we had nothing. I got to talk about how the kids and I were now at the point where we wanted to pass on some of the blessings we had received.

They loved my idea of giving birthday parties to children who because of family circumstances would not get one, they agreed that every child deserves to be celebrated. I am one huge step closer to seeing this dream become a reality. This is such huge happiness I am at a loss for words to explain how grateful I feel. I think this is something that can make a big difference to children who really need some happiness in their lives.

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