happiness

Mary’s Boy Child

I’m finding this Christmas season a confusing one emotionally. I keep looking around for Dad to do my getting ready for the season things with and then remembering that he’s not here. I miss him so much I am left with a sad tinny like taste in my mouth. How can it be that he’s gone?  Then on the other hand,  I’m so happy that for the first time since 2004 I’m either not coming home for the holidays and pretending to be ok with that, or packing up all our presents and fly home as soon as the kids are done school (lots of work).  We would decorate our house, but not get to fully enjoy it, and by the time we arrived home there would be only a few days before Christmas so we were behind the game there too.

So, I’m so happy that we are here, settled in one place for the holiday season. We have more things to decorate than we have time for. The kids and I can bake cookies and make hot cocoa whenever we want. I found the recipe by the girls who own Crave Cupcakes for their shortbread cookies (the article includes an interesting story on how they became Crave) and we made cookies tonight. They are supposed to be for Jenna’s school tomorrow, but we may have eaten enough of them I’ll have to make another batch. Totally worth it though, they were melt in your mouth delicious. It’s a great recipe!

I have had my Christmas Carol playlist going for about a week now, but somehow I forgot all about Mary’s Boy Child, it’s one of my favourites. It came on the radio today and when I got home I had to pull out all three of my versions: the Anne Murray one (which reminds me of childhood and home and good feelings), the Boney M one (which is the one I always heard on the radio) and one that was on a kid’s mixed cd. We sang the carol over and over and ate too many cookies.

My happiness moment was an evening of cookies, carols, and then a cuddle with my girl while we watched a bit of Home Alone.

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Boxing Day

My favourite day of the year – Boxing Day. The day when we all lie around in our Jammie’s, visit, eat leftovers, and play with our toys. No stress involved anywhere in this day.

Pretty much all I managed to do today was shower, dress and drive into town to pick up my son.

In between these three things were visits, showings of bugs bunny with the kids and reading a book my dad put together for me.

Another Boxing Day to look back on with a smile.

Oh, and I started my day with this view:

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And ended it with this:

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Life is so good!

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This Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve began watching Peewee’s Big Adventure. An embarrassingly loved silly old movie. This year I got to share it with 13 year old Jacob who also appreciated the hilarity of it.

We did our usual slow paced organizing for Christmas Day which included a drive into Cochrane to pick up last minute supplies. As a warm surprise, the best part of the day came here with Jacob and I barreling into town singing Christmas carols at the top of our lungs. It was a beautiful, joy filled moment.

In the spirit of finding more of the beautiful and joy filled moments, I paid attention to the second verse of “It Came Upon A Midnight Clear” at the evening church service (it seems I only pay attention to the first verses of carols, they’re the only ones I know).

And ye, beneath life’s crushing load
Whose forms are bending low,
Who toil along the climbing way
With painful steps and slow;
Look now! For glad and golden hours
Come swiftly on the wing;
O rest beside the weary road,
And hear the angels sing.

Here’s to spending more time resting beside the weary road listening to the Angels sing. And to looking for more glad and golden hours. Like bellowing out Christmas carols on the drive into town and to being HOME for Christmas.

Merry Christmas

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The Path

We all have a path that we are on. As I’ve said recently I’m trying to now follow the path of least resistance. But even this new path is still part of the same path I’ve been following all my life.

If you had asked me 20 years ago where I would be on my life path, the future I had envisioned for myself then looked nothing like the reality of my future now. Even 10 years ago when I was getting ready to have baby number two and knew that we would soon be moving across the country I never thought that my life path would take all the twists and turns that it has.

I was thinking about paths yesterday as I was walking across the cattleguard into my parents’ yard. Now that is a path I can walk at 2 am in sheer ice (as I did early Saturday morning) with the same confidence that I know where I am going as I walked it as a toddler. As far back as I can remember I have memories of crossing that cattleguard. Running and jumping over it with Buster, noticing the day that my feet were big enough that I could walk over the boards and no longer had to balance on top of them, walking my horses around through the gate, driving over it with grandma and grandpa and my parents, finally being old enough to drive over it myself, helping my children walk over it, watching them run and jump it. That path into that house holds a lifetime of memories for me.

It’s a part of my path. And what I love so much is it is a part of the path for so many others whom I love. Grandparents, parents , sister, cousins, kids, horses, dogs, cats. Generations have walked that path and it holds memories for us all.

The warmth of having those loving ties is invaluable. My heart smiles when I walk that path and it embraces all the new experiences we are making, but it also smiles back on all the old memories that have already been made there.

There truly is no place like home. And I feel so blessed to be here ,

No matter where my path leads me (and I’m learning to let go and enjoy discovering where that may be), I always end up back here where my heart is

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