After months of training and trying and praying and hoping, I sold my horse today.
There’s a delicate balance of holding on and letting go. The best and kindest thing I can do for this beast I love so dearly is let him go to someone who is a batter fit for him. It’s really sad since he was to be my heart horse – I had planned on him being in my life for the next 20 years.
The reality is I am a different person now than I was a year and a half ago. What I want is different, and what I am willing to accept and tolerate in my life is different. It’s led me to change several important relationships and this is just one of them.
This last year has been filled with loss and this adds to the grief. But there’s something different forming inside me as well. I’m getting more clear on who I am and what I want.
My heart horse will be going to someone who really likes him and is really good with him. It’s better for him, and it will end up being better for me too. We have the next month together before he begins his new adventure.