happiness

Home for Christmas and School (FGK-6)

Grandma talks of how she went to the hospital asking if mom could come home for Christmas.

The physiotherapist who was there, worked on her, lifted her arms and worked on her, exercised her and everything. But for 2 Christmases I would go to the doctor who was in the hospital and ask him if I could have Margie come home for Christmas dinner, I’d get a nurse to come with me look after her, and bring her in an ambulance, do everything that he would recommend if she’d be allowed to come home for Christmas dinner. He said, well she might as well she’s not going to live anyway don’t you know. That’s two years we did that.

This is the second time Grandma mentions that she was told by a doctor that mom was going to die, and the second time Grandma says that she just went ahead and did what she believed was best for mom and for her health. I should add here that mom said to me several times when I was a kid how hard grandma and grandpa worked to establish a good relationship with the hospital staff. Aside from it being what they believed was the right thing to do, they believed that if everyone who worked there knew that mom was a loved somebody, that she had people who cared for her dearly and who were really invested in her getting better, that she’d get better care. Particularly since they were only able to go in and see her twice a week for an hour. Mom was still a kid, to leave her in the constant care of strangers took an immense amount of trust and faith. This is a lesson that was well taught in my family and that I’ve passed onto my kids with this same story. Be kind to those who are looking after somebody who you love because not only is it the right thing to do, but it helps your loved one be better cared for. It is a rule that has seldom failed me.

Years went on, what a long time she was in there. The teachers that taught the children in that hospital were really something. She was smart and got a good education. After many years in the hospital she came out of there.

Then we got correspondence from the government and we did 2 years here at home and it was so lonely. She was young too then, and sit and study here at home in a busy household here it was. It was pretty lonely for her to be studying off in her room, not seeing other people her age.

Percy had, before we brought her home, he built a lovely physiotherapy table in her bedroom and I found out she was taking oh I hope I can remember the times correctly, the number, it was so long ago, I wish I had done this then, written it down or something. but the arms, and the legs, I think each one 30 times or 15 minutes a time. I exercised them. And we had weights on pulleys and for weights we had old fashioned irons that i used before we got electricity things like that I used for weights on pulleys and she could do that with my help. She gradually kept up her strength in her arms and her legs and several different methods they taught me. I took a light physiotherapy course before we brought her home so that I could exercise her. And it was quite a complicated physiotherapy table Percy built, quite well done and I think it’s still upstairs in that garage and all the pulleys and weights I used were old pieces of hand irons, or horseshoes or anything for different weights. And she just worked so hard, twice a day each one was done 15 times. And quite a few exercises, I can’t remember them now I suppose Margie could.

Anyway, then she had to study her school work herself from the correspondence teacher and it was a lonely life because I was busy in the kitchen we had quite a crew of men to cook for. So she did alright though, she worked steady and hard at her schoolwork.

After a couple of years of keeping close touch with the doctors and Physio and that, Margie began to use crutches and get around a little bit in the house. We had, my kitchen was three steps below the rest of the dining room so that was a dangerous thing so we built a new kitchen that was level with the rest of the house then too so that was nice. So it was just getting a very lonely life for her I thought for her, and she did too but she never complained. And when winter came it was too dangerous for her getting around with her crutches and so I wondered (oh here she comes, she won’t approve of this… is she coming????) i wondered if I could find a school in a warmer climate not too far away from home, and I found a little school in Florida. Daytona Beach /Florida with no steps because she couldn’t go up steps with, she wasn’t far enough advanced with her crutches and exercises. And we found a little school with no steps and I found a place where she could board and she went 2 years then. In her high school. She graduated from grade 12 with honours from that little school. In fact they put a plaque up outside the school honouring her for the gallant attempts she made and how well she did. I was very proud of her. That was 2 years I think, might have been 3, but I think it was 2. And she got through grade 12.

A few things happened here. We get the story of how Grandma’s kitchen came to be. I have tried to imagine how the lean to kitchen looked for years, but I’ve never seen a photo of it, and I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around it. I was told that one time mom was walking on her crutches into the old kitchen and fell going down the stairs. Grandma said that was it and the new kitchen was built. She really maximized on that, as this kitchen is a beautiful big space, and the room in the house where family always seems to gather.

Secondly, grandma talks of finding a school in Florida for mom. When I heard this, I thought of how challenging that would be in modern times with the internet – ensuring that the school had all of the physical accommodations that mom needed, and that she was in a place where she would be well cared for. And then, in the 1950s, to send your kid away to school in Florida was like sending your kid to the moon now (well, not quite but almost).

Finally, there was a moment where Grandma thought she heard mom coming. This is when I realized that I’d been in the room while they interviewed, because I remembered being sent off to divert mom from coming over. Grandma was right, she would have been upset. The years were so full of pain and trauma for mom there was an unspoken agreement between us all that we would never speak of them. Honestly, I’ve struggled with how mom would feel about me speaking about it now, but a few things have happened recently that makes me think she’d be ok with it. Mom didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for her, and she didn’t want to have to go back and sit in that pain (I wouldn’t either). But, mom, and her whole family, has this incredible story of courage and love and faith. and I consider it to be an incredible honour that I am telling that story for her.

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