happiness

Held together by duct tape

I’ve discovered that since the kids have gone back to school, I’ve gone back to crying in the car when I’m driving alone. It was pretty much how I spent 2015 after dad died, and I have to say I’m almost glad I’m processing mom’s death the same way finally. So much happened right after she died I had to put my grieving process on hold. Which was fine, but I do need to work through those feelings.

I was driving through town on my way to pick up the girl, still crying but trying desperately to stop. While I’m totally fine with my car crying grieving process, I’m not a huge fan of being the crazed bawling mama at school. As I was waiting for the lights to change I looked at the car across the intersection from me.

This car was a minivan, a little bit older but generally in good shape – except for the front. The entire front of the van was held together by huge strips of duct tape. Some of them looked like they were barely hanging on, others like they totally were keeping the car together.

I started laughing through my tears because omg, duct tape really does fix everything. The image of that car was enough to change my mood and I was smiling by the time I pulled into the school parking lot.

The girl and I spent most of the rest of the day driving around doing errands together. Teen life seems like it’s in constant change, but in this exact second it’s pretty good. It warmed my heart to see her smiling, and to share the deep conversations that we had while we laughed and sobbed together about the weirdness of life.

I am so grateful for this life.

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happiness

Fall party 2018

We had our second annual fall party at the hall today. I love that building, it represents many happy childhood memories- so I was incredibly happy to hear a few people come in the doors and express to me how deeply they love our hall too. It’s holds the love and memories of generations of our community.

The boy and I took a turn at the games – connect4, tic tac toe, corn hole… we sampled pies for the contest and the auction, and we visited with friends and family – including my childhood riding instructor whom I haven’t seen in decades.

So grateful to be part of this tribe

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happiness

His Independence Day

The boy passed his drivers test today and is finally a full fledged driver. It’s both extremely exciting and kind of sad.

I’m so happy for him, it’s a giant leap into adulthood and he’s growing up to be such an awesome man. It’s kind of sad because it feels like it’s all going too fast.

I had a lady in town come up to me in Tims today and ask where my son was. I said he was at school and she went on to tell me what a wonderful young man he was growing into. A good reminder how important it is to say kind words to people. I smiled all day.

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happiness

Family ties

We are at that time of the month when internet is about to run out. We are experimenting going without Bell satellite, so when the internet runs out there’s no tv either unless it’s DVD

We finished Fresh Prince and have moved to Family Ties. I loved this show as a child, and I love it just as much as an adult. The only thing I ever found weird as a kid was how they sat around eating ice cream out of the container – but that was due to my germaphobe upbringing. There are times now when we each have our own container in the freezer so we too can have a Keaton moment in the kitchen if the occasion calls for it.

So we watch the family before we go to bed. Happy with our own family, but enjoying stories of a perfect family. I can’t wait for Nick to show up!

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happiness

Back at the grind

It was the first day of grade 8 and 12 for my monsters today. There was a lot of nervousness, and a strong desire to be sick or extend summer a few weeks longer; but there was also an eagerness to see their friends and get back to a routine.

Grade 12. My baby is essentially an adult. I am so proud of the human he is – he’s becoming an awesome man. And it feels like yesterday I was crying as my baby girl went to kindergarten. In Rhode Island. 2 moves and a lifetime ago.

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