Walking the line

My baby girl becomes a teenager in a few days. I don’t know how she went from the sassy little girl holding my hand to this sassy young lady avoiding my hand in the blink of an eye – but here we are.

She’s an awesome human being

I took her out for a special girls night to celebrate her upcoming birthday – supper and then a movie of her choice. I figured I’d be stuck watching some awful teen drama. Instead though, we went and watched Ferdinand- because underneath the mascara and flipped hair she’s still the little girl who loves animals.

And I love her and spending time with her. I am honoured that she still wants to spend time with me. It’s happiness.


It’s not Pony Club

My kids have joined the 4H club in our community. It’s something completely different for me as I grew up in Pony Club, but already I’m loving what this club has to offer. Today they took the kids up to Norquay and they went sledding – after what felt like months of being trapped in the house due to inhuman temperatures we all have a bit of cabin fever and it was good to get them out of the house for a bit.

Yesterday I spent some time thinking about the games Mr. X is playing with the lives of the kids. He is so far behind in his support payments its not a joke, it’s not funny, it’s affecting the lives of the kids on a daily basis. Then moments like today happen and I realize that the kids are being held in the arms of love – both here with their tribe and from Above. It doesn’t make those problems go away, but it makes the power of his hate have less effect. That is the goal for this year – to rid our house and our lives of his hatred and his attempts at fear-making. It hangs there, the lack of payment not only hurts financially but it causes them emotional pain. But his ability to make us afraid, that is getting weaker and weaker all the time. It coincides with our ability to walk in love and peace more and more.

I got to get some work done, have a car visit with my sister, and bug my horse a little bit today – all things that make my soul smile with happiness.

Things are changing. It’s time.


Birth sister/soul sister

Today was a day that had a lot of anxiety attached to it right from the start. It’s so frustrating to get anxious about things that we can’t change, but sometimes that happens, sometimes (always) things are out of our control, sometimes life is scary.

However as I started this day, I was walking across our yard and noticed the beautiful full moon hanging over the mountains, barely visible through the trees. I love Alberta – I love it much more now that it’s not -50C, but it’s home, and it’s where my people are.

I had a really good quiet moment with my sister this morning. Both our lives are busy and even when we are together usually there’s kids and chaos – which is all good but sometimes it’s important to stop and really check in with each other, and I feel like we did that today. It was much needed and appreciated.

This evening I did much the same thing with my soul sister. We shared supper and stories, laughs and heartaches – she has been a huge support for me through my divorce and all the fallout from that and I’m forever grateful.

I feel like we have created a culture where independence is celebrated – where needing someone is a sign of weakness and we are supposed to be brave and strong all alone all the time. It’s not how I can function. I need my tribe, I wouldn’t have been able to pick myself up and be building a new life for the kids and I if I didn’t have the unconditional love and support from my people. That is happiness.


Frozen In

Yesterday with the windchill it was -48C which is an absolutely unbearable temperature. So much so that my car decided it was done with being an Albertan and died (well the battery died). My very kind brother in law tried to help me out yesterday to no avail and a second attempt by me and my son today achieved the same results. I put in calls to AMA and also to Volvo On Call to come rescue my poor car. AMA said it was still a 16 hour wait and the other said about 12 – this is what happens when it’s so cold and also the holidays.

There’s something kind of nice about beingĀ forced to stay home. Life gets so busy and I usually put on at least 100km/day which makes for a lot of driving and a lot of time on the road.

Today I got to spend cleaning the house a bit, visiting with the kids, and setting intentions for the next year. As a bonus, only a few hours after I called Volvo sent out Big Hill Towing from Cochrane and they rescued me by starting my car.

2018 – Our year for peace and happiness.


The last word

I come from a pretty competitive family – game nights were pretty serious events and although I hadn’t planned on it, this is a trait to have passed onto my children. And we can turn anything into a competition.

Tonight it was who has the last word with the boy and I. We were about to watch a tv show together and we ended up in a “game” of who has the last word.

It went on for over an hour. After several distractions and false promises I finally won (the boy insists he did, but it’s my blog so it ends my way).

These small moments of giggles make for big happiness


The Last Jedi

We had our annual cousin Star Wars night this evening. Every year for the last few years my cousin and her family have given me and the kids tickets as our Christmas present and we all go together to IMAX. Our almost adult boys have been playing, enjoying, and loving Star Wars since they were in diapers.

I won’t spoil it, but I thought it was a really funny movie.

The take away line for me was this:

I’ve been working in that direction but it’s time to eradicate the evil force from our lives.

Cousin time. Star Wars time. Happiness time.