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We all get by with a help from our friends (and strangers)

Like just about everyone else out there, there are days when I feel completely overwhelmed. I firmly believe the old saying “it takes a village to raise a child”, and to add to that I believe that it’s important for my overall well being to be a part of a “village”. With all our moving, uprooting, and the like we have had a really difficult time building and maintaining a village. There is a village full of people back home who we could jive with, but we aren’t there – we are here – village-less. Learning how to live without a constant support system is challenging at best – but the one thing I am learning that is an absolute necessity is to learn how to ask for help.

I have never been really good at asking for help. I also don’t like asking for directions when I’m driving. Both are a sign of weakness (not really, but somehow in my brain they are). But the reality is that one person can’t do everything. And I’m learning that in order to do things well I can only do a few things. And to do things really well I can do even fewer. So, I’m learning how to ask for help.

Today I had some wonderful ladies come to the house and scrub it from top to bottom. I was Christmas-and-Birthday combined excited. I still am Christmas-and-Birthday combined excited. The house looks so amazing, I feel like I can handle the daily chaos in order to have it “show ready” at all times. Seriously, they’ll call and give 20 minutes before they want to come see the house sometimes. I have 2 kids, a dog and a cat. Who the heck lives in a show ready house? Not me usually. But these ladies came in and scrubbed and cleaned and vacuumed and the house is clean and sparkling! My anxiety about it has gone, I feel so relieved and happy and more capable of keeping on top of things.

Because I asked for help. Changed my whole outlook on things. Overwhelmed feelings are most certainly lower. The village. We all need one.

Tonight lying in bed reading The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah, I opened to the passage “Ask for help when you need it, and give help when you can. I think that is how we serve God – and each other and ourselves…” Which sums it up perfectly.

Happiness moment for the day (day 16 of my 44 days of happiness): Our local radio DJ has an anger diary “Zack’s Anger Diary” and when we remember to have the radio on the right station and it’s the right day (which we need to find out exactly when it’s on so it’s not so random) the kids and I listen to it on the way to school. Usually it’s bust a gut funny, but today was bust a gut and fall over funny. Maybe more for me than the kids, because it was all about kids and their incessant need to snack and treat us like their personal butlers. I think the kids laughed harder at how hard I was laughing than they did at Zack. Anyway, listen to today’s diary here. It was like he was living my life!!

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Happiness is doing something you love with someone you love

Last year the kids and I were lucky enough to spend the entire summer home in Calgary. We got to do so many things that we aren’t able to do on our shorter visits. Topping that list was being able to simply do the things that we would do all the time if we lived there – we were home long enough to actually feel like we lived at home. We had that grounding, loving feeling that comes from the stability of being with people we love in an environment we feel nurtured in.

The kids were able to go riding a few times over the summer. Horseback riding is the thing that makes my heart sing. Everything else that I’ve found in life that I’ve enjoyed since has only been discovered because I haven’t been able to have horses since we moved away from home. When I’m riding, my spirit is at peace.

I spent many hours walking up and down the field with the kids on Princess (who is a very manly gelding he would have you know). Watching their joy and happiness while learning to do something that has brought me so much joy and happiness was a spirit lifting experience.

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The closest thing I have here to the peace that I get with a horse is my river walks. Today the weather was 16C (don’t ask me fahrenheit -I can’t even spell that word without looking it up – it just makes no sense to me) and Jenna and I went for a little walk along the river after school

She wasn’t very excited about it to begin with. But, as she pushed off down the little hill on her scooter she yelled over her shoulder “I don’t know why I didn’t want to come, I love being down here” and off she vroomed down the hill. We stopped and looked at twigs and leaves and found a little bunch of flowers starting to peek out of the ground (yay).

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The only thing she said was missing was that we hadn’t seen any of the herons. I told her that usually they’re not around in the afternoon, that we have to come in the morning to see them. No sooner had I said that than we looked across and there was Henry Heron trying to blend into the scenery. Jenna made me stop and take a picture of her with him in the background.IMG_1337

I enjoy my quiet morning walks, but it’s even more special when it’s shared with someone I love.

Today on day 10 of my 44 days of happiness I am happy that I have people with whom I can share the things I love. Happiness is doing something you love with someone you love.

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The laughter of a child…

As they say in Mary Poppins “I love to laugh”. It’s fun, it’s funny, it lightens up the day, it makes me feel good from the inside out. Up until my late 20s I had friends that I used to have insane belly laughs with. I remember laughing and laughing and laughing until it hurt. Sometimes we didn’t have to even say anything, we’d just look at each other and laugh ourselves silly. It was a great way to live. I have those laughs now when I go home, with my sister and my cousins. Crazy, silly, fun, kid like laughter.

Of course, the best way to get a good dose of laughter medicine is to go to the “source”. In my case this would be my kids. Both of them are really funny people. They have incredible senses of humours, and because we spend so much time where it’s just us hanging out – we know each other well enough that it usually does not take much to make us laugh.

Sometimes though, there are faster ways of making one laugh.

This morning Jenna got up and came into my room. She lay on the end of my bed and watched me while I did my morning game of fetch with Ella the cat. As we were winding up, I turned quickly, ran a couple of steps and bellyflopped on top of Jenna on the bed. While I had her pinned down I tickled her until she turned into a squirming mess. Mean you say? Well, in my defense, the more she laughs from tickles the stronger she gets, while the more I laugh from tickles the weaker I get. And she gives back as good as she gets. It wasn’t long before we were both giggling hysterically on the bed – each trying to get away, but neither wanting the other to escape.

Every single day should begin like that. With a belly laugh with someone you love. Today for my 8th day of my 44 days of happiness I am happy because I got to have hysterical belly laughs with the best girl I know.

~Life is better when you are laughing ~

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44 days of happiness… starts now

Today is my birthday. The intention for this year is to follow my bliss, to be happy. To follow the path of least resistance by allowing good things to come into my life. What better way to kick it off than with 44 days of happiness? 44 days where I spend each day with the mindful intention of doing and finding things that make me happy. I got the idea from my daughter who seemed to turn turning 10 into a month long event, and also from a hight school friend who recently told me when she turned 40 she spent 40 days doing something special for herself.

So, these will be my 44 days of happiness. Or, the 44 days of Melissa.

Day 1 naturally was pretty easy since people always go out of their way to make sure that your birthday is a special day. But I also noticed I was happier in my soul today. I could feel it when I was out walking this morning. I felt it when I was working on my Ayurveda course. And I could feel it when I was hanging out with my kiddos.

The kids today get the credit for bringing a smile into my heart. They both made me a special card for my birthday. Jenna’s is here:

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The picture above is us holding hands under a rainbow. The poem below melted my heart:

I love you, I love you, I love you mommy

I love you, I love you, I love you so much

You’ve always been there for me

I am going to be there for you

i love you I (heart) you

so much mommy

happy 44 b-day

swoon. Takes my breath away to be loved so much. I love her that much too.

And from Jacob:

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He makes my heart so happy. I love them both so much and there has been no greater joy than being their mom.

To top it off, my Facebook feed was flooded with friends and family wishing me a happy day. I am so blessed that I have so many people in my life who are really good, decent, solid friends.

Happiness is off to a great start.

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