I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed lately. I’m trying not to be, but I am. Then I think of what the last year has brought. A move home, time spent with my dad as he prepared for his death, intense grieving, being cut off my mr x, filing for divorce, discovering absolutely brutal lies and betrayals on the part of mr x, having to figure out at age 45 how to support me and the kids after being home for over 11 years, learning to recover from years spent with a narcissist. Throw in being a full time single parent, helping my kids through their intense emotional feelings about all of the same issues, and helping my mom out, and it’s no freaking wonder I’m overwhelmed.
I was sitting quietly contemplating this feeling earlier today. What could I do to lessen the feeling of suffocating? Everywhere I turn there’s someone who needs me I thought, sometimes I just want to spend a day in my Pjamas and read a book. But that is not my life right now.
Then I came across this quote
“I can’t take it anymore”
Yes. That’s what I need to do. Give. Keep giving. Because that’s always easy to do when one is feeling overwhelmed. Sigh.
Then as God does, He showed me what He meant.
The joystick on mom’s chair broke today and I was trying to fix it. My mom has always been a huge support to me, but these last few months after mr x withdrew finances, she and my uncle and aunt have been what have prevented the kids and I from being destitute and homeless. She needed my help (and she’s overwhelmed too) so I gave it
Then when my help proved to be futile I called the person we all call when we need help – my cousin. Another person who goes flat out around the clock. And without a second thought she was down helping me out (and by helping I mean she fixed it).
Much as we are all overwhelmed and stressed out, that act of being able to give to someone – kindness, love, money, support- it makes you feel so much better. Life lesson learned today.
As an awesome happiness moment we had a community shower today. I am so blessed that I come from his huge tribe of people. It has been such a blessing to be brought back into the fold. The kind of happiness I’m finding now goes deep into the core of my soul. I have freed myself of the fear I lived in for so long and am able more and more every day to embrace the joy and bliss of the life I am living.