I spent some time this morning with someone who brought me back to where I was a few years ago emotionally. It was a good thing, done in a safe environment with someone I trust- but it was still a gross place to go. I realized as I was telling him my story that when I talk about it now it’s pretty much always from the perspective of being here now and how we got to this place. Very, very rarely do I actually put myself back in the emotional space of what it was like then. No wonder, it’s horrible. I didn’t like it, but it was done to clear out a bunch of old pain memories my body has been holding onto and that was a really, really good thing. It’s left me pretty tired and drained but really happy that I’m finally feeling strong and safe enough to let that go.
My happiness moment was spending the evening with him. He seems to understand that sometimes I need more TLC and is so good about being a safe place.
Also, Jenna spent most of the day in the blanket fort she made with a friend. She used to make forts all the time but this is the first one since coming back home. I’m loving how the kids have settled and made this place their home. Because it truly is – we are as deeply planted back in our roots as we possibly could be here.