happiness

Out of my comfort zone

I had my riding lesson today – which really is my therapy session.

It’s coming, but I feel like as soon as I get my hands where they need to be, and my elbows at my sides, my knees move, or I lose my balance, or I’m posting on the wrong diagonal (happened today, I was embarrassed).

My horse was farting around and I didn’t get after him for it, so my instructor got after me. Then she said she was working hard to push me out of my comfort zone, because I was so resistant to it.

Ughhhh

That’s the story of my life lately. For years I’ve prayed to be home, grounded, safe, happy. And for years there has been a crisis or trauma of some sort.

So I’m tired. I’m happy to sit quietly in my comfort zone and not make waves. I enjoy being invisible and just taking a few breaths.

But that isn’t life, and it certainly isn’t the way to grow and heal. And I need to continue with my growth and my healing.

Which means I need to be pushed out of my comfort zone.

Not suddenly, not dramatically, but quietly and lovingly. It doesn’t have to be leaps and bounds, but rather consistent, steady steps towards my goals.

It’s the best therapy I could ask for.

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