Tag Archives: gratitude

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Boo!

   
My happiness moment today was Halloween evening. We went to my cousin’s place and had supper and then the kids went out trick or treating. 

This was awesome for many reasons. This cousin and I are very close in age and spent a great deal of our childhood and youth playing together. We have stayed close, but miles have kept us apart for over 10 years. Being able to reconnect and strengthen that friendship is a great gift in my life. 

Our kids are all at different ages and stages, and yet they all get along and enjoy being together. I smiled watching them all head out to get candy. 

We had a beautiful meal and a relaxing visit afterwards. Times like that haven’t been very common in recent years for us and it’s a blessing to be able to do that. 

After we got home the kids sat with their stash and picked out a few treats to keep. By a few I mean less than 10. I was proud of them as I didn’t give them a limit. But, the rule is if you want the Halloween Witch to come and leave you a present you have to leave out most of your candy. We usually wait an extra day, but they wanted to do it tonight. I’m a big supporter of that. I hope the Witch brings something cool! I’d like a new pony. 

 

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True love 

 

Today my happiness moment was watching Jenna cuddle with Abu the Cat. Jenna has waited forever to have a cat she can snuggle with and carry everywhere. 

These two are great friends and a great match for each other. Abu came to Jenna at a time when she really needed someone to hug and cuddle with whenever she wanted to. I’m grateful for both Abu and Aladdin. 

Seems fitting on national cat day to have my happiness moment be about a cat!! 

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Boot to the head 

  
Poor little Jenna came to the car today in tears. She’d been hit in the eye with a frisbee and was sore and upset. Of course the first thing that went through my brain was boot to the head from the Frantics. 

Because most funny things in my brain go back to thr Frantics, Kids in the Hall, or Mr. Bean. I can’t look at a pie, hear the word areas, or stand in line (is this the line? I’ll bet you’re the line) without bursting into uncontrolled giggles. Boredom often leads me to pinch peoples’ heads, and everything else is Mr. Bean. 

Poor Jenna. I did get myself together and give her the sympathy she needed though. 

Yesterday I blogged about  security and confidence and how important it was that our little house is feeling more settled and safe all the time. Jenna told me that as soon as she got hurt, her first impulse was to run into the school and see if her aunt (my cousin) was there. She said I know she’s always at school and I knew she would make me feel all better. I wanted to be with my family. Someone who loves me. 

And that is what this is all about. Living in a way where we have our tribe around us knowing that we are safe and cared for, and that we can make others feel the same. 

That was my happiness moment. Jenna feeling  that wherever she is here there is someone who has her back and will give her a kind hand. We aren’t made to go through this life in isolation and I’m so grateful that we don’t have to anymore. 
On a different note, Dad died 5 months ago today. I don’tknow how I feel about that, but I feel like it bears noting. Miss you Dad xoxo

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Cameras, Swans, and Dad

My sister and I spent part of the weekend dividing up Dad’s cameras. It’s something I know he would want us to do, but a very difficult thing nonetheless. Dad loved taking pictures, and he loved sharing them with his loved ones. We know that he would want us to keep on taking pictures and capturing family memories.

I was fiddling with my camera this afternoon and noticed that there were still photos Dad had taken left on the memory card. It seems he took them this time of the year (or maybe it was early spring) because the swans were on the slough just like they are now.

He has some amazing swan photos, the ones on my camera aren’t some of his best work. But, it was both my happiness moment, and a  sadness moment to open them up and take a look.

I have lots of memories in my head that I will take with me forever of Dad and of our family unit. However, having these tangible memories he made for us helps my heart heal a little bit more. It reminds me to get out and look at the swans, to go out walking, to admire the mountains and the barn, to jump into life every chance I get.

I’m noticing the farther I’m getting into my days of happiness the more that happiness is truly becoming part of my life. I still look for my moment each day, but I’m getting happier and happier all the time. Happiness in the core of my being is becoming more a way of life and I’m so grateful for that.

a couple of Dad’s photos

DSC_2617 DSC_2594

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Sisterhood

There is something special about a relationship with a sister that makes it different from any other relationship. Perhaps it’s the fact that we have known each other since our beginning here, we know each other’s flaws and those things that make each other great.

There no need to pretend to be anyone other than who we are when we are together. But, that part of our relationship is something that has come with time, maturity, commitment, and work. We have navigated our way through trying to be who we think each other thinks we should be, and who we think our family thinks we should be, and have finally settled into a very comfortable state of just being with each other.

here we are in a weird state of just being with each other… (I still have my monkey costume, both my kids have worn it)

Today we got to sit down and have a long and uninterrupted chat with each other. For the past 14 years one of us has had little kids or diversions that have kept us from just sitting and talking. She still has little kids, but somehow today things worked in the perfect way that gave us this opportunity to just sit and be together. We talked about everything, from our feelings about Dad dying, to our parenting skills, to what we think we will be like as little old ladies. It’s such a treasure to have someone to talk to where conversation is so easy.

I’ve written about it here before, but Mom reminded us today that this is when real life happens – in the little moments – and it’s so important to be able to sit down and take advantage of them when they come our way.

Today my happiness moment was that sacred time spent with my sister. I’m blessed to have her in my life.

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4 year old bliss 

  
One of the beautiful benefits of being back home is that we get to know my niece and nephew on a more regular basis. Seeing anyone once a year is never enough, but because they’re little they weren’t getting to really know us. 

Today’s happiness moment was an afternoon spent with my niece. 4 was a great age for my kids and she’s pretty awesome at 4 as well. It seems at this age there’s no shades of gray, things are either super great or end of the world dramatic. But, when they’re super great they’re so great. 

She painted a pumpkin for me this afternoon. So now I have a tangible reminder of the happiness. 

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Shifts and changes

It’s seems as though it’s time for changes both inside and out. There is no more ignoring the fact that the season has changed. The leaves are long gone, the grass has gone brown, there is frost on the ground and the car in the mornings, and now… as I mentioned yesterday, the swans are here.

it’s a terrible picture, but it was taken with my iphone as I ran after them down the ramp towards the highway. I didn’t want to upset them by getting any closer, and of course I didn’t have a better camera with me.

I have hundreds of photos that Dad sent me of the swans. He really loved it in the spring and fall when they would come stay at the slough for a while before continuing on on their migratory path.

So, it’s bittersweet. When Dad died the swans were still here, it was the beginning of spring, there was new life all around. It’s harder to see them now, but it is a reminder that life goes on, and I must too.

Even though it fills me with sad feelings of missing Dad, I still love the swans. I love them for themselves, the beautiful and graceful birds that they are. I love them because they fill me with happy memories of us all rushing out to see them and to stand and watch as they swam on the slough and flew in the field above us. I am happy because we can still do that and we can share it with each other now.

I’ve been doing lots of energy work, and am happy that I’m finally able to clear some pretty big energy blockages that I’ve had stored deep inside for a long, long time. It’s time to let things to, and to let flow and joy back into all areas of my life. It’s exhausting work sometimes, but I feel lighter and stronger and happier because of it. More and more I am seeing that I am attracting good things into my life.

My happiness moment today came when I finally understood a key part of my Ayurveda course. I’ve been struggling with this for ages and no matter how many ways I looked at it, it just wasn’t making sense. All of a sudden today *bing* something shifted and now I understand it. I had to do a little happy dance around – what a great feeling!

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It comes shining back 

I had to deal with the government again today about Jenna’s passport. Since Christmas, it seems as though every time I go to the passport office I burst into tears. This happened partly because I was in a weakened and emotional state, and partly because the man I was dealing with was pretty much a power hungry bully. This time however, I was going to a different office and dealing with different people so I had hopeful expectations. A few weeks ago, when I had first applied for her passport somehow our birth certificates had got mixed up and mine was sent in instead of hers. When they called to tell me this, we were heading into the thanksgiving weekend when everything was closed. The next week I went one time and forgot my reference number, I went again and was told they were 3 hours backed up and were closing in an hour and a half.

So, I tried again today. I’ve been really focusing on the intention of putting kindness and love energy into the world and I’m discovering in so many ways how it is coming back to me. I arrived at their office and was brought in to be helped in under 5 minutes. The lady was very kind and together we made sure everything was done correctly this time.

I walked out feeling a huge sense of relief and gratitude that something that previously had been unpleasant had now been reprogrammed in me as an easy experience.

This afternoon when I picked up Jacob from school he handed me a card. He said “here, this is for you, you’re in trouble” and smirked. Great…. what is this???? I opened it and it was a thank you card signed by all the students and the teacher because I went and helped supervise on a field trip last week. Never in all the times I’ve volunteered have I received a card. It was so thoughtful and touching. I was really impressed.

Then I realized how all the positive energy I’ve been focusing both inwards and out into the world are starting to shine their way back into my life. I’m so grateful for that. It’s nice to be smiling in the light instead of crying in the darkness. My happiness moment today.

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Fondue Fun

  
Tonight we had an unconventional family meal. We set up Inside Out on the Ipad (because we love it), and watched it while I prepared our meal – then because we were into it we watched during the meal. I had picked up a small roast earlier today because the kids were asking for “real roast beef sandwiches” and I’m all for finding something besides luncheon meats for their sandwiches. Turns out what I thought would give them supper tonight and sandwiches tomorrow was not big enough – I still am not used to teenage appetites – but they sure enjoyed it.

We made an unexpected stop at the cheese shop on the way home and fondue cheese was on sale, and my willpower is weak around cheese… so….. we had cheese fondue and roast beef for supper. Ok, well, I may have just had copious amounts of fondue… so good… cheese… Not exactly on the Ayurvedic plan I follow, but sometimes a girl’s gotta eat cheese.

I love the whole act of the fondue. Dunking your bread chunk into the melted cheese. The silly mess of the whole thing. Drooling up long strings of cheese. And, anyone who knows me knows that usually this kind of eating grosses me out (gag), so the fact that we have so much fun at it speaks volumes. I love just being able to relax and be silly and eat fun good and giggle.

It was a much needed laughter break at the table. I’m grateful every day that these two like spending time with me. They are my greatest blessings and it brings me such joy that we all truly enjoy each other’s company.

My happiness moment today. Fondue fun(due).

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