happiness

Happy paws

I had a very simple moment of happiness – which was quite welcome after so much emotional energy shifting these last few days. 

It was sunny and warm(ish) out so o grabbed my dotted dog and went for a walk along the ridge. I love that place, it clears my head and is filled with ghosts of memories past. She was the happiest dog in the world this afternoon. 

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happiness

Ain’t nothing going to break my stride

I took the dog out for a very windy walk this evening. It’s beautiful, but those chinook winds mean business today! I have been using the winds lately to help me blow out old, stuck emotions. So I’m actually kind of glad for the opportunity to face the force and let that stuff flow out.

I’m realizing as I let go of past hurts that I have this entirely new life ahead of me. I will be able to live a life where I’m not afraid of the person I live with, where I’m not afraid of what they’re going to say or do. I now can surround myself with people who make me want to be a better person. People who bring love and light into my world and let me reflect my own love and light into theirs. It’s exciting. 

I’m finding it’s already happening. I have been reminded of the awesome tribe of people I already have in my life, and I’m attracting really wonderful new ones in as well.

It’s never too late to start realizing your dreams, and I have realized that now is the time for me to start living mine. It’s a pretty wonderful life I have stretched out ahead of me. 

I’m finding my stride, and discovering my confidence once again. Something that had been squished  under fear and anxiety for a long time. 

I can’t let the fact that I was emotionally attacked for years define who I am any longer. I mean, it has changed me and shaped me to some extent. But I’m not his victim. I am this whole, new person with a deeper understanding of compassion than I ever was before. 

The discovery process we went through was brutal in many ways, but what it did do was affirm for me that my intuitions were right. All those things that I was being told for years and years were wrong with me weren’t my flaws at all.  I have my flaws, but those weren’t them. And now I can let all that stuff blow out of me. It’s not going to keep me from living my dreams anymore. 

My happiness moment was walking the dog along the fields I know and love so well. Letting the winds blow out old junk and welcoming in wonderful, new possibilities. 

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Stampede breakfast at the Hall

Every year our community hall throws a stampede breakfast and all the neighbours (most of whom are related) come out and have a long overdue visit. The kids and I have been fortunate enough the last two years to have been able to attend this community function. 

Communities aren’t the same as they used to be, or maybe it’s that we have been the new people in so many communities over the past few years that we missed the sense of belonging. But in this community, our community, most of the families have been here forever (which in Alberta terms is just over a hundred years). So, even when there are faces I don’t recognize, I can still figure out who they are by asking a couple of questions. 

I had some lovely visits with family and neighbours today. I feel like some of these people I wait a whole year to see at the breakfasts. Sad since we now live so close (hopefully this changes and I will see them more often) but it shows how important these community events are because we need to see each other.

My happiness moment today was when my Mom arrived at the Hall. She came a little later than we did, so I was already sitting at a table when she came in. I was in a position that I could see not only her, but the expressions of people around her. The smiles and love and warmth that radiated out of the family and neighbours as they watched her come in was overwhelming. This community of tough and strong ranchers also has so much tender love to give. The love and support on their faces as they welcomed her into the crowd is exactly why we need to be around our tribes. 

I had a bonus happiness moment today. My cousin and her family from the Yukon came over for a visit this afternoon. I haven’t seen her since 2007 and I’d never met her kids.  I love the family tie that can bind you together even when years and time may keep you apart. 

We went out for a walk and I saw my favourite flower, the wood lily 

   
The lily on the right is actually a conjoined twin flower. There are two complete lillies on one stem. I’ve never seen anything like that. Pretty cool. 

 

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