Today is my unniversary – it hasn’t been a great day for years now but I’m getting better about it.
It used to be a sad day because it was a reminder that I had made a promise to spend life with someone who was hellbent on destroying me. Last year it was a weird day as I had my own end of marriage ceeemony – gratitude I was on this side, sadness I endured for so long.
Today though I realized something. I used to think we were building security for the future. I hoped maybe once he made enough money, or was happy enough in his career, that things would get better. Eventually I began to wonder if this would ever be the case. But, then I was trading happiness in the present for the hope of security in the future.
Now I have happiness in the moment and no security for the future at all.
But these moments… they are awesome. And all we really have is the present moment. I realized this today as I was mowing the lawn, seeing my horse in the field beside me, watching my daughter and niece jump on the trampoline, and knowing that my boy was at a job that he loves.
These present moments of happiness are good ones. Who knows what the future holds, but the present- it holds happiness.