happiness

Memory day

Today has been a weird day for memories. There are good ones, like remembering 19 years ago today when my cousin had her son (and he’s such an awesome human)

There are freedom memories, like the fact that 3 years ago today I filed for divorce and opened the possibility up for an entirely different kind of life.

There are sad memories like the fact that a year ago today was mom’s funeral. This one is intermixed with bittersweet happiness as I recall family and friends coming together and celebrating probably the bravest woman I ever knew.

And then there are memories of love like the one that popped up on my Facebook from 7 years ago that said this:

Mom, I probably should hold your hand more. I realize that the little girl hand I have been so used to holding will one day grow up to be a big girl hand and will probably not want to hold my hand as much, and there’s nothing like that feeling. *Long distance hand hold *

My baby was 7 then and I promise you that at 14 now the hand holding is few and far between. But there’s still a lot of love.

This is my last day of being 47. Today marks the last of the firsts without mom. But it also marks the first of a whole new future ahead of us.

Love is all there is.

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