I started this blog 4 long, long years ago on my 44th birthday. My idea at the time was to track 44 days of happiness. Life was pretty sad for me then and had been for quite a while. I was in a marriage that was filled with fear and pain, and I couldn’t see a way out of it that also looked after my kids. I was 2000 miles from home in a different country. I was sad, I was lonely, and I was unhappy.
So for 44 days I looked for things to make me happy. Some days it was the smallest of things – like seeing my heron on my morning walk. But I did notice at the end of the 44 days I felt better, more positive, happier.
So I kept it up. I blogged every day for over three years. Through the kids and I moving home, through dad dying, me getting divorced, the boy getting very sick, me breaking my shoulder, mom dying, and the girl also being very ill.
I blogged and felt better and even through all the change and pain felt like tracking my gratitude was making a difference.
When the girl got sick it just about knocked the bottom out of my world. And at the same time I realized that someone was reading my blog who had less than loving intentions towards me and my kids. So I stopped blogging as frequently, closed that person (and the rest of the world) from that part of our lives, and got through.
But you know, maybe I should have just kept blogging. This is my life, our lives, and what happens is real. It helps me process it to share it, it helps me find happiness to remember to find moments of joy in the day.
So today, on my 48th birthday I’ll commit to 48 days of happiness and go from there.
This year, my intention for my life is to seek peace. However that looks for me, whatever changes that entails, I need to look at things in a way that leads me to peace. This means the most important thing in my world needs to be strengthening my relationship with the Divine.
Today the kids took me to Banff. The car said 14c on the way there and it was a ridiculously nice afternoon in the mountains. The greatest gift I can receive is quality time with my loved ones- and that’s exactly what I got today
there was a snow carving festival going on. What they created was amazing