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Extreme Frustration + Power of Intention = Christmas Miracle

Despite our best efforts we have been sick here in our house. Jenna had it first – 5 days of fever finished up with a couple days of runny nose. Jacob had 2 days of fever followed by 10 days of intense, spasmodic coughing. I am finally able to swallow again after strep.

To say I was frustrated would be putting it mildly. We have worked so hard to be healthy and look after ourselves, and just like that we were brought to our knees by these viruses. With our trip home looming just ahead of us it was getting more and more urgent that we all get healthy and stay that way.

Jenna recovered a couple of weeks ago and has been totally fine since (thank goodness). I knew that my throat would run its course and I’d be fine.
What was causing me concern was Jacob and his cough. It was the same nasty cough he had last spring that lasted for 3 weeks. Harsh, deep, dry coughs that were relentless. Non stop, all day and night with no relief.

We tried everything. Every Ayurvedic medicine I could get my hands on, all my essential oils, all the western medicine the doctor suggested. Nothing was giving him any relief. He lay in bed coughing and coughing and coughing.

Finally last night I broke down. I was so frustrated, upset, annoyed that nothing we were doing was working. I knew with the way he was coughing that there was no way we would be able to travel. Against my better judgement, in my frustration, I told him that there were only a few more days left and with him not getting better there was a good chance we would not be able to go. I was just so frustrated and upset and I didn’t want him to find out the day of travel that we would not be going.

Of course as soon as I said it I wished I could cram it back in my mouth. But the three of us sat there and cried for a little bit and then they went to their rooms to get ready for bed.

I sat on my bed and thought about what had just happened. Then I thought about the work I’d been doing with my positive intentions. About how I was learning that nothing on the outside of my life will work properly unless I’m properly balanced and aligned on the inside. About how all the work and action that I *do* don’t matter unless I’m coming from a place of peace and balance on the inside.

I realized that we all had been *doing* things to try and get Jacob better. But one thing we hadn’t done was set our intention inside ourselves that he be healthy. The kids know this setting of intention as prayer.

We got back together and I told them that we were the strongest, most stubborn, most willful people I knew and that we were going to use all those traits to look deep inside ourselves and find feelings of love and health and peace for Jacob. We sat there and prayed and put in our hearts that he was just going to be better.

When I went in to tuck him in he wasn’t coughing – when I asked him why, he said because every time he wanted to cough he thought of healthy thoughts and of all the fun he was going to have at home and he stuffed the cough away.

Well, he woke up this morning and was healthy. No coughing. He went from spasmodic coughing that was relentless yesterday to no coughing and going to school today.

A Christmas Miracle. Brought on by our positive intentions (prayers), fueled by a little frustration meltdown.

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Some Get Healthy Tea

Some sort of bug managed to sneak into our house. Two weeks ago Jenna had a high fever, I got knocked down a bit over the weekend (thus the sore throat of yesterday I suppose), and today Jacob’s home with a high fever.

I have this awesome tea that I make when I’m feeling under the weather and it almost always helps restore me quickly to health (I drank it over the weekend, but I guess I should have had a day or two more and I would have avoided the sore throat). I made a big batch of it this morning to knock this thing down once and for all.

I like to start with a big pot of boiled water, but then I move it all over to my slow cooker and keep it on the warm setting so I can enjoy it all day long. I usually take the tea bags out as they get pretty strong, but I leave the rest in the pot for the day.

Start with some sliced up ginger, cardamom, peppercorn, cloves, a cinnamon stick, and two tea bags (I used decaf green, but you could use black tea as well).

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Boil some water and fill it in your slow cooker (or just leave the pot on the stove if you don’t have a slow cooker), add the ingredients into the water

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Enjoy some nice, warm, healing tea

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Don’t you love the mug? I got it when we were home last summer 🙂

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Sore Throat and the Path of Least Resistance

Yesterday afternoon my throat decided to get sore. It was a rainy, cold day and I was already feeling kind of <meh> because of the weather, so it took me a while to decide that I actually should do something about said sore throat.

Thinking about dealing with my throat made me reflect on my Ayurvedic studies which I’ve been struggling with lately. I wasn’t exactly sure why it seemed so difficult lately and it was causing me a great deal of frustration. Over the last day or so every time I do some reading, look at my Facebook feed, or even do my morning meditation, I am being told that they way to abundance and to getting what I want is through the path of least resistance.

I am a longtime, hard-core resistor of the path of least resistance. If there’s an easy way and a hard as hell way to get somewhere, you can bank on the fact that historically I’ve been struggling part way down the path of most resistance. Looking over at the path of least resistance wondering how I missed the turn onto that path and how the F do I get there? Wait, maybe I’ll just push ahead a little more, struggle some more and then I’ll find that easy path? Sometimes I’ve even been on the path of least resistance and jumped over to the path of most resistance because I thought it was too easy, I should be struggling more, I didn’t deserve to be this happy…..

Sigh.

I’ve been doing this with my studies as well. I told myself that I’m already behind the ball because I didn’t have any knowledge about Ayurveda when I started (and it seemed like everyone else did), and so being intimidated I felt like it was a struggle. Ironically when I manage to just close these thoughts off, don’t think about what I know and what I don’t know and go with what my gut says is right I’m always on the right track. Which, of course, is true about everything else I do in my life also.

After 43 years of intensive research on the path of most resistance, I can assuredly tell you that it’s not a path conducive to success and long-lasting happiness. I can also tell you that the few times I’ve been able to really let go and relax into the path of least resistance that it is a path to success and happiness. So, considering it’s called the “path of least resistance” because it means that it’s the one that you should have to put the least amount of effort into – why is it so bloody hard to do sometimes? It should be a welcome, joyful path to follow all the time. With Unicorns and rainbows on it.

So, lying on the couch resisting the fact that I was having a sore throat and struggling and suffering with it and the knowledge that I knew of an easy way to solve it – I finally got up and took my cure-all for my throat.

Big ol’ gulp of Bragg’s Apple Cider Vinegar. Nasty…. but it works. Throat’s already almost completely better.

So, I’m setting my intention that I will be making a concentrated effort to look out for that path of least resistance and following that towards the things that I want and the things that make me happy. Because true happiness is unselfish, loving, blissful, peaceful and easy. When you are happy doors open and that makes life so much easier than having to stop and try to open all those doors yourself.

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grounding, happiness, love, mornings, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, parenting, The Magic

The Best Part of Waking Up…

Well for me, it’s not Folgers in my cup since I quit drinking coffee years ago. Now the best part of waking up is knowing that the new day brings the chance for a whole new world of happiness to come to me. New opportunities, new adventures, chances for laughter and time for reflection. Every day is like pressing a reset button and having the chance at a fresh, happy start. Because happiness is a choice, and every single day I get the chance to choose to be happy.

Every night before I go to bed I have taken the advice from The Magic and I hold my magic rock (it’s actually a rock I made in a class years ago at Kripalu) and think over all the wonderful things happened that day, pick the best thing and give gratitude for it. It has become something I really look forward to because it gives me the opportunity to see all the good things that have happened in my day – especially on days when I feel like not a lot of good things have happened. It’s amazing to be able to look back over them and say “oh yes, this… and this… and this…” Then when I wake up in the morning, I try to lie in bed quiet for a few minutes thinking about all the good things I want to happen during the day to come. It’s become a wonderful, peaceful way to start and end my day and I know I feel a lot better just by doing those little things.

This morning I slept in (!) until the alarm and so instead of having my centering moments, I grabbed my phone to turn off the alarm only to see that Jacob was already texting me to see if school was delayed and if he could have pancakes for breakfast (school was on time, I could make pancakes). I was dressed and downstairs in the kitchen before I realized that I hadn’t had my regular morning hatch. Not really knowing how to refocus myself on the day, I figured I should just keep on going and try and make the best of it. I turned on my Pandora radio and it went to the last station I was listening to – Nitty Gritty Dirt Band (don’t judge). The first song was Friends in Low Places and the second one was Cadillac Ranch. Well, after turning those songs up, dancing and singing (badly and loudly) while I got the pancakes ready I was in as good a mood as I’ve been in a morning lately. Music is wonderful therapy.

Kids came  down also in happy moods and we had a pretty smooth, calm morning. We even got to listen to Zack’s Angry Diary on the way to Jenna’s school which is something they both really look forward to – it provides some good laughter as they’re getting ready to start their day.

We dropped Jenna off and went to Jacob’s school. I pulled up in the drop off line and he opened his door, got his things out and turned back to me and said (outside and in public) “Love you, Mom”, then he gave me a big smile and started walking towards school. I was in shock and thought that I must have misheard. I drove up so I was beside him again, rolled down the window and said “Did i hear what I think I heard?” He smiled and said “Yes, have a good day mom.” And walked off into school.

Mommy heart melt. My teenager saying he loves me in public? Priceless. Let me tell you, it’s a great way to set up for a positive day.

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Letting that Light Shine In

At church today we were celebrating the beginning of Advent. Pastor had the kids come up for the children’s sermon and she talked a bit about the meaning of the new season and why the church had different colours and some different decorations.
She showed everyone the Advent log that was at the side of the altar, and told us all that when the acolyte lit the first candle on the log we were going to sing a hymn about the Light of God.
Well, no sooner was the candle lit and the congregation singing about God’s Light than the dim church was lit up by a brilliant ray of sunshine blasting through the stain glass windows up top. Jacob and I looked at each other and ohhhed and ahhhed and I thought maybe it was just us who noticed that God in fact was making sure we knew that He was shining light in. I asked the kids during Children’s Chapel and every one of them had noticed the same thing. Their responses went from “cool” to “creepy” but they all noticed how our church was brightened when we were singing about letting the Light in.
I thought it was a pretty cool reminder of how brilliance, light and love can be found everywhere. Sometimes you have to look a little harder to find it, and sometimes (like today) it’s put right out there in the open, in the literalist of ways for you to find.

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You need to slow down for a minute there…

I didn’t get out for my morning walk until 4:20 this afternoon. When I did finally get there I had a lot of anxious thoughts swirling around in my brain and a lot of nervous energy I wanted to walk off. I got onto the path and Dottie immediately ran off to do her first of what would likely be 10,000 piddles. I let the flexi-lead stretch out and walked slowly past where she was doing her business.

An older gentleman approached me on the path and stopped and said “You need to slow down for a minute there.” I wasn’t exactly sure what he meant, so I asked him, he said “well, your dog wants you to stop so she can do her thing.” I laughed and said that she would be doing her thing every 10 feet down the path, but that yes – he was right. I should slow down.

I actually outright stopped for a minute and let Dottie sniff around while I looked at the river and took a few deep breaths. Wasn’t the reason I was here to slow myself down and reground my self and relax? So, why was I rushing?

When Jenna was little I used to take her in her stroller along on my walks with Dottie. Jenna would make me stop at every garden and smell all the flowers. Sometimes it would drive me nuts because I just wanted to walk and have quiet and think. But part of me knew she was spot on – that we needed to slow down and smell all the flowers that we passed.

This man pointed the same thing out to me again today. Slow down, don’t rush things, let them unfold.

I decided to spend the rest of my walk listing all the things I am thankful for. I let that dog sniff and smell and poke around and I counted blessings. My heart felt so much lighter and happier when I was done.

In my list of gratitude was the good fortune of running into that man on the path who helped focus me on the reason why I was there.

I needed to slow down for a minute….

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I ain’t missing you at all….

This morning I was listening to John Wait’s Missing You which apparently led me into a morning of self-reflection. The kids have been sick the past couple of days and as a result we have had the opportunity to completely slow down, which has given me time to reflect and read and work and play. Listening to this song this morning made me think of who-I-used-to-be. I’ve spent a lot of time lately thinking about who-I-really-am and how do I get to living that authentic life on a continuous basis. Lately I’ve realized that who-I-used-to-be and who-I-really-am are actually pretty close to the same thing.

In my mid 20s I made 4 major decisions that altered the course of my life. It doesn’t really matter what those decisions were – they were made long ago and with the best of intentions for my future, but as a result of those choices I went from a life on purpose to a life on default.

What does that mean? I used to be a dreamer, I had ideas of doing fun-filled and exciting things with my life. They were always a little unconventional, but being a bit different was something I used to embrace about myself. I may not always have been 100% sure about where the path I was on was going to take me, but I always was certain that I was enjoying the ride there.

When I switched to a life on default, I gave up on my dreams, I decided to take the safe route and choose stability over dreams and fun. Although I had no idea at the time, the result of this meant I was no longer being authentic to myself. Instead of being the star of my own life I chose to become a supporting character in other people’s lives. So, instead of writing my own life story on purpose the things that happened in my life happened in a supporting role, on default.

The result of this is that I have become one of those women in their 40s sitting with a basket full of unfulfilled dreams. The good thing is that I have now realized that I am the author of my own life story and that it is not only possible, but necessary for me to live a life on purpose. To realize that I can live with intention and passion and joy because all of that is my birthright.

I took the kids home this summer for our longest trip back in 9 years. Those 9 years have been fun, busy child-raising years – but they also have been difficult and unsettling years. We have moved several times – across Canada and to two different states. I really wanted them home for an extended time for many reasons, but one of them was that I wanted them to get to see who-I-used-to-be. I felt that they only knew a stressed out and unsettled mom and I thought it was important that they knew that I used to be a fearless badass. The unexpected bonus of this trip was that *I* remembered who-I-used-to-be and realized that that still is who-I-really-am.

If I could rewind time I would go back and do the opposite of those 4 choices I made. But, there are many things about the life that I live now that are wonderful and beautiful and fun and I would never, ever trade them for the world. So, I will live with the life I’ve created quite happily. However, it’s wonderful to know that I now also have the ability to create my own future.

I thought taking the safe route would lead to security and stability and in reality it did exactly the opposite. Which, as I was singing badly but happily (even more happily when the kids started covering their ears telling me to stop, because that is funny) to my song this morning, made me think “If I had followed those dreams earlier in life I probably wouldn’t be in any worse shape than I am now, except I would have known that I tried.” Instead of that being a sad thought it was actually quite empowering. What do I have to lose now by following dreams? Seriously.

I think it’s freaking awesome that we all get to write our own life stories and that we can choose to live our life on purpose!

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My Source, My Balance, My Ayurveda…

I was doing some work for my Ayurveda class today and while daydreaming got to thinking about this blog and how it’s a blog about Ayurveda, but it may not always appear to be about Ayurveda. But in a very deep sense it is all about Ayurveda. One of the things that is stressed in my studies is connection to the Source. Without connecting yourself to Your True Self, and The Source; you will never be able to maintain a proper balance – which is vital for true health.

A lot of what I write about here is how I’m discovering my own connection to The Source. To awaking and opening My True Self, which lives inside me, and connecting to The Source which is everywhere. You can call The Source whatever you want (God, The Universe…) but I’m understanding that there is a urgent need within me to realign myself with The Source and with who-I-really-am. This alignment is the balance that we search for in our spiritual lives but also in our physical lives. This keeps us healthy in body, mind and soul. Ayurveda is a lifestyle of keeping your body and soul in balance for optimal health. Learning how to achieve that balance is quickly becoming my life’s work.

For most of my life I have believed that the only way to achieve things is to work hard. To get out there and *do* something to prove myself.  To suffer through things to get to the reward at the end. Lately I’ve been thinking…. what if that’s not the best way to go about things? Because all the hard work in the world isn’t going to bring freedom, happiness and peace if I haven’t followed my bliss, balanced my soul, connected to The Source.

What if, instead, the way to achieve the things I want in life is to stop and balance my soul?

Because I feel like I have spent years running like mad on a treadmill and not getting anywhere. Sweating, crying, swearing but not actually moving and missing a lot of the fun.

When I first started my studies I learned that pretty much any condition that a patient would come in for – anxiety, high blood pressure, blood clotting issues, weight gain/loss, you name it – one of the standard prescriptions is to include meditation twice daily into your lifestyle. I understood this on a basic level that it was a good thing to slow down and connect yourself to Source, but lately I’ve been understanding it on an entirely different level. If we aren’t connected and balanced we can’t enjoy good health. If we aren’t listening to that inner voice that guides us and tells us what our dharma, our bliss, our reason for being is then we aren’t in balance and can’t enjoy perfect health. Connecting to that Inner Self and aligning it with the Source, the Higher Power, is how we achieve balance, bliss, and health.

No amount of running around and fixing things on the outside is going to fix what’s broken on the inside.

My reading this morning pretty much summed up all of these thoughts that I’d been mulling over on my walk this morning (this is why my walks are so important). Here’s an excerpt:

The primary reason that people feel a shortage of time is because they are trying to get too much leverage out of their action. If you are unaware of the power of alignment and are making little or no effort at finding your personal alignment—if you are overwhelmed or angry or resentful or ornery, and from those emotional perspectives, you are then offering your action to try to accomplish things—you are very likely experiencing a severe shortage of time.

There simply is not enough action in the world to compensate for the misalignment of Energy, but when you care about how you feel and you tend to your vibrational balance first, then you experience what feels like a cooperative Universe that seems to open doors for you everywhere. The physical effort required of someone who is in alignment is a fraction of that required to someone who is not. The results experienced by someone who is in alignment are tremendous in comparison with the results experienced by someone who is not. If you are feeling a shortage of time or money, your best effort would be to focus upon better-feeling thoughts, to make long lists of positive aspects, to look for reasons to feel good, and to do more things that make you feel good when you do them. Taking the time to feel better, to find positive aspects, to align with who-you-really-are, will net you tremendous results and help you balance your time much more effectively.

Hicks, Esther; Hicks, Jerry (2008-08-12). Money, and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Wealth, Health, and Happiness (Kindle Locations 3585-3591). Hay House. Kindle Edition.

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There simply is not enough action in the world to compensate for the misalignment of Energy. These were powerful words to me. Because I can guarantee that I spent a massive amount of energy on action trying to compensate for the misalignment of Energy. And paid for it dearly. The good thing is that my body and soul are forgiving. I can feel now that I am coming into a better balance that I have more energy, I’m happier, I am accomplishing more but *doing* less. I am so thankful for that shift.

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Share the Love

Yesterday morning I was trying to figure out what to do for Children’s Chapel. There’s always a set lesson, but after that I have to come up with something to do with them for the rest of the time. The past few weeks we’ve been colouring – which at first was a huge hit, but lately has gotten a little boring. I knew it was time to shake things up, but I was at a loss as to what to do.

I remembered last year I’d played a ball game with them that they’d really enjoyed, but didn’t really have much to do with the fact that we were in church. It truly had been a time filler game, and I was hoping for something a bit more. I got to thinking about how much I enjoy the beginning of our time together when we share the best part of our week, or something we are thankful for. It sets the tone for the rest of the lesson, and it lets us all get to know each other a bit better. I decided to see if I could figure someway to combine those two things and came up with a pretty simple game.

We all had to get in a circle and one person would throw a ball at another person. When that person caught the ball, they’d have to say something nice about the person who threw the ball. Wanting to make sure it passed the “cool test” I told my kids what I was thinking about and they both seemed really positive about it. In fact, when we got to church they suggested the three of us throw the ball together and practice so we would know how smoothly the game went. It started out with them being a little awkward and silly: “Your farts stink” Your farts don’t stink” (both of which sadly enough were something each kid took as a compliment), but it quickly turned into genuine kind words “You’ve always got my back” “I like how you are a good brother to me” “You’re a good friend to me”. I could see the smiles on their faces grow and I knew it actually was working.

The same thing happened with all the kids at Children’s Chapel. At first they were a little shy and self-conscious “I like your shoes” “I like your hair”, but it soon got much, much deeper “I like how you are always kind to others” “I like how you always smile” “I like how you always let your little light shine”. I could see them smiling more and more and they all seemed to really enjoy it.

Near the end one of the littler kids got a little antsy and pulled a small bouncy ball out of his pocket and wanted to know if we could play with it. I said if we all sat down we could roll it so we didn’t super bounce out one of the windows. Not sure if they were getting bored I added that they could stop saying the compliments if they wanted and just roll the ball. As my daughter pointed out after though “Mom, did you notice that even after you said they didn’t have to keep saying nice things, they kept on doing it?” Which I had. Because that’s the excellent thing about saying nice things. Once you start, they snowball into more and more nice things, and they become easier and easier to say.

I know my heart left a little happier after our time together. I noticed too that the kids said more kind things to each other during the day.

So easy, and yet so powerful.

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I’m being selfish (and that’s ok)

A spin off from my post yesterday about loving yourself like you would love others is that being selfish can actually be a good thing. Not selfish maybe in the terms that we normally think about them in, but selfish in that it’s a good and needed thing to look after yourself first. As a woman, and a mother this was something that I struggled with for years. Fortunately I had an overwhelming anxiety issue followed by a body break down that turned me around and made me start to look at things in a different way. I realized that if I didn’t start looking after myself – being selfish – that I would have nothing left to give to anyone at all.

I’ve heard it likened many times to the lecture the flight attendants give before take off about the oxygen masks. Blah, blah, blah, when they come down secure it to yourself first before helping anyone else, blah blah blah. I’ve heard this for a lifetime and never really thought much about it until I had children. Then I thought how difficult it would be for me to put my mask on myself while watching my child struggle for breath. It wasn’t until later that I realized how much worse it would be for me to be trying to put the mask on my child and pass out myself from lack of oxygen possibly harming the both of us (thank God no actual life or death situation like this has happened to us). But it’s a very good analogy – if you have not looked after yourself you are in no situation to help others. At least not effectively or for a long period of time.

Being selfish does not mean that I expect the world to revolve around me. I don’t expect to be waited on hand and foot, nor do I expect that we only will do the things that are of interest to me. That’s not how it works when you’re part of a family unit (or any other kind of unit). And it’s not what makes for a better person.  But, it means that I know that I’m a better me if I get at least 8 hours of sleep, do some exercise, meditate, do some yoga, eat a balancing diet, have some laughter, and do things that make me happy. When I take time to nurture these important parts of me it makes me not only a happier person on the inside, but a better and happier person to take out into the world. I have more to give, I can share love, happiness and laughter.

Learning to respect these parts of what makes me a better me has also made me learn to respect these parts of other people. And to realize that what makes other people a better them can be different from me, and that’s ok. We all are here to write our own life story. I can’t write yours and you can’t write mine. In the same note, you are not here to judge my life story, nor am I here to judge yours. I think as long as we are selfish enough to really dig deep and follow our dharma, our bliss, find our deepest desires, seek out those things that truly make us happy; that our life stories can be written side by side in harmony.

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