happiness

Small changes bring big results

I had the opportunity that allowed me to reflect on what my life would be like now if I hadn’t started making small changes all those years ago. I would be someone I  wouldn’t recognize – in fact even when I look back on that old life I can’t believe that was me.

I think about the day I fell on the floor and prayed for change, it was almost 6 years ago, after the incident at Canadian Thanksgiving. It seemed like change took forever to happen, yet here we are now living a life completely different life. Small changes, big results.

What if I was that person I used to be still? I’d be broken. Totally and completely broken. Living a life I wasn’t made for, pretending to be someone else, lost and sad.

Sometimes I feel like it takes too long for the changes to occur – I get impatient. I’ve been working for this better life for so long. The boy reminded me the other day mom – you yourself said that sometimes God has to wait until you’re totally broken apart so He can put you back together. And that’s true. I’m so damn stubborn, it takes a lot before I’ll accept the help I need. This shoulder thing has been a good lesson for me in learning to accept help and appreciate the kindness of those around me. Today, on week 8 after my fall, a neighbour is still bringing us a weekly meal. Every single Monday she’s shown up with something for us. Talk about an act of kindness.

All those small changes brought Drishti into my life. He was my drishti years before I knew he existed.

If you don’t know how he came to have his name – here’s a recap:

A dristhi is a specific point of focus that is used during meditation or while holding a yoga pose. The reason for the focal point is due to the belief that where our gaze is directed, our attention naturally flows. It is a way of looking for the Divine everywhere, and it allows us to see God in everything. It blocks out the clutter and noise, and keeps our intention set on what is important.  Focus all of your attention on your drishti and all the chaos of the world disappears and you are able to connect with God. 

For me, horses always have been my spiritual vehicle. When things were bad and I was so out of balance, I prayed for and focused my attention (set my drishti) on having a horse to ride again. So, when through a series of miracles this horse came to my life I knew his name was Drishti. He makes the chaos of my world disappear so I can focus on what is important.

If it weren’t for all the small changes, this wouldn’t be my life now. And I love my life now. And that is happiness.

 

 

Standard
happiness

Kick sugar 

I spent part of the day going over menues with the girl today. She is on board with me and we are kicking sugar to the curb for the next month as we make better food choices. 

It’s perfect because it comes right before she and I were going to begin the 90 day wellness transformation that is part of my course. While we usually had pretty whole, healthy food; things got kind of siderailed when we moved back and then things got really bad when I broke myself and couldn’t cook. Well, except for the awesome meals that family and friends brought over. 

So we are inspired to get back to our roots and make better food choices. We both realize they make us feel better – we are happier when we eat pure foods. There is an amazing difference between how we feel on real food vs how we feel on processed crap. 

So we planned, shopped, and cooked. And now meals are planned out full of good choices. That is happiness 

Standard
happiness

45 degrees 

In huge personal news, I lay down this morning to do some of my exercises and I was able to move my arm to about a 45 degree angle! This is a huge improvement from having no mobility at all after I broke it. There’s still not a lot of lateral movement and it still hurts like a fother mucker but it’s an improvement. 

Happy dances all around. 

Standard
happiness

Fly me to the moon 

My boy got a chance to show me how much he loves to jump today. For the first time I put him over some cavaletti- at first he thought they were the scariest things in the world, but in very short order he was running around, jumping them of his own accord. 


The boy can jump! I love to jump. Soon we will do this together. It’s passion, passion is happiness. 

On that note, I listened to the boy talk about his hopes and dreams on the way to town. It’s an exciting time with the whole world ahead of him. I hope nothing ever happens to crush his dreams, that he never lets that passion fade. Mostly that will mean not listening to the people who tell him it’s not possible. There are lots of dream killers, with both good and bad intentions. 

Listen to your soul. Let your heart sing. Find your dharma. That is the road to happiness. 

Standard
happiness

Small things, big changes

I got to share a little bit about what I’m learning and what I do with someone today. It is exciting to be able to share that more with people now and feel more comfortable as I keep moving ahead with it. 

I’m learning how to teach people how to change habits so that they can live a happier and healthier life. 

From small things big changes come. 

It’s happiness. 

Standard
happiness

Rehydrate 

I met my good friend for tea today – both of us have been kind of disasters the last few weeks. She was sick and I was broken – we have made an interesting pair. 

She had gone to the pharmacy to get something to help her rehydrate because her meds had left her totally dehydrated. A lightbulb went off for me. I’ve been on these meds for a month and I know they’re dehydrating me. 

So we both started chugging electrolyte drinks and have continued until now at bedtime. I have to say I feel so much better. I’ve been working at upping my water intake anyway, but the electrolytes really have made a difference. It’s so important to listen to what the body is saying

Hydrated happiness 

Standard
happiness

It’s as close to God as I can get


Today I was listening to Saltwater Gospel on my drive home (I am doing short drives now, which is awesome) and I got stuck on the line I’m as close to God as I can get. 

I love this song because to me it speaks about finding God outside of church. I remember years ago talking to my pastor about how I only found God outside of church, and with her wise words she reminded me that I know who God is because I learned about him in church. So, I think both are important. 

For me, my Saltwater Gospel is found on a horse. Always has been. It wasn’t until I actively started seeking out spiritual guidance, grounding, and started practicing meditation that I realized all of this I intuitively knew from my time on the back of a horse. 

And I thought of Drishti in the field. This boy I waited so long for, who I prayed for, who came to me through a miracle. I’m really sad I can’t ride him, like heartbroken. It seems so unfair that I just get him and I hurt myself so I can’t ride. 

But you know what? He’s still here. We still can work on our bond. Being with him is still as close to God as I can get. 


A couple of times in recent years I have had body issues that have forced me to stop and make a total reassessment of my life. The last time it happened with my feet, it made me change my life into the one I have now. If I hadn’t literally been stopped in my tracks a few years ago, I never would have connected with God the way I did and found the strength to get where I am – home, safe, happy, free. 

There’s a lesson in this one too. I just have to stop and pay attention to it. The last few years have been so filled with sorrow, trauma, and stress – maybe exactly what I need is to be forced to just stop and listen and get as close to God as I can get

Happiness ❤️

Standard