Tag Archives: kindness

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It’s in the smiles…

One way that I know that I’m happier now than I have been in a long time is the fact that I interact with more and more people who are smiling and happy. For the past few years it seems as though the majority of the people I encountered were stressed out, overwhelmed and unhappy and it had the effect of making me the same, which I radiated back and created more unpleasantness. As I’m getting happier and happier, I’m in the company of people who are the same.

This is not to say that there are not bumps and stresses in everyone’s lives. It has been a very difficult year for me in many ways, and yet I’m a happier person than I was a year ago. It’s a wonderful feeling now when I meet people to know that we will greet each other with a smile instead of a stressed out, angry snarl. Not only is being unhappy exhausting, but when I know that many of my relationship encounters are going to be unhappy and stressful I become even more overwhelmed. I don’t have to be tense and upset in anticipation of an unpleasant encounter because generally there are none.

Now I find that I gain positive energy from the majority of the people I interact with which bounces positive energy off of me and back into the Universe.

My happiness moment today was spending the school day at the zoo with Jacob and his grade. I was one of the parent volunteers who accompanied the teachers and kids for the day (reproduction habits in animals – that was fun with a bunch of hormonal teenagers hahahaha). The teachers were all so kind and happy. Every time anything happened instead of furrowing brows and being cross, they smiled and worked through the situation. I was really impressed with how genuinely kind they all seemed to be, they certainly were welcoming to me the newcomer, and the fact that the kids were all so well behaved speaks volumes for how well this positive attitude works.


It goes without saying that the mere fact that my 14 year old actually asked me to join them on the field trip and thereby be seen in public with him was a bonus happiness moment.

As an extra special bonus happiness burst, while we were at the zoo, Jenna was home on an extra long weekend day off from school. They are weaning cattle on the ranch right now and my cousin very kindly took her riding and let her help out. For a city-turned-country kid who loves the country and loves horses this was a most magical day. Just the fact that things like this are available to us brings me gratitude and happiness.

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Puppy love 

Today Dottie met Aladdin. She was not impressed. Really mom? Another cat? She seemed to say to me with her big brown eyes. Just wait until she finds out there is one more after that! 

Aladdin marched across the floor while Dottie danced around behind him trying to figure him out. Finally she decided to chase him away and came bounding up to him with the intention of scaring him. 

Except instead of being afraid or running away, he did this:

 Here doggie, let me roll over so you can scratch my belly

Talk about no fear. 

This was my happiness moment. Watching how Aladdin has won over Dottie and (slowly) Ella by kindness instead of through fear. A life lesson we could all learn from.  

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Reacting to karma 

The other day I read a quote that went something like how people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours. It’s been floating around in my brain ever since, but I had the opportunity to put the quote into practice today. 

I was driving to pick the kids up after school. Late as usual, driving on the gravel road. The speed limit is 80km/hr and I was doing it. I came around a corner and someone (whom I gave some choice words to in my head) pulled out of a drive about 5 feet in front of me and were doing maybe 15km/hr. They hadn’t stopped before coming onto the road and if they saw me they didn’t care. Slamming on the brakes on a gravel road can be tricky and I floated across the rocks for a little bit muttering some choice words. 

There is a chance they didn’t see me, but the more likely option is that they did and they didn’t want to get behind me on the gravel (the dust). They kept themselves at a very slow 50 km/hr while I was stuck behind them. 

At first I was mad. There are too many ignorant drivers, and I do seem to attract them. But then I went back to the quote that had been floating around in my head. How they were acting was their karma. They had to look themselves in the mirror at the end of the day and be right with how they had behaved today. How I was reacting was my karma. It wasn’t making me a better person muttering fickity flick flick and shooting them looks of death from my driver’s seat. 

I need to remember that I always get to choose how I act and how I react. No matter how other people treat me. How they behave is their issue, and I can only control my own behavior.

Still not happy at being cut off, I was happy to have had the opportunity to think that quote into practice. It made me change my reaction and change my behavior. 

 It was a beautiful sunshine day. My happiness moment was my morning walk with my Dotted Dog. I was thinking while walking about how in Roanoke I started my happiness moments and had to look really hard each day to find one. As I was walking and letting my brain run, I noticed that my thoughts were full of things like its so beautiful here, I am so happy to be home, I love it here. Happiness. 

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Sushi smiles 

   

 

Today’s happiness moment was a sneak away date for sushi with my girl. She’s always guaranteed to bring a smile and a warm happiness feeling to my heart. Blessed am I to have two warm loving souls in my life in the form of my kids. 

Jacob preformed a loving act of kindness this evening in helping care for my dad while he slept. 

Their unconditional love – the real and true kind with no boundaries is an inspiration to me to be a better person and to love more fully. 

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Doing the right thing 

A few days ago I rented a rug doctor from our grocery store. I love the instant gratification of cleaning carpets. And with the rug doctor I get to choose what I put on the carpet. This time it was vinegar and my DoTerra Wild Orange essential oil. The house smelled so good after. 

Then the movers came. Now our house is dirty again and covered in boxes. Chaos. I can’t wait until it’s all sorted out again. Calmness. 

When I went to return the rug doctor everything seemed fine. After I was doing some shopping and the lady came and said the filter was missing. I knew I’d seen it when I put it in the car. We searched the car. Nothing. Went back in and said we’d have to go look at home. She was adamant we needed it (fair enough, it was a part of the vacuum). 

We went home and wham chaos for the next day and a half. There was enough big stuff going on there was no time to deal with small things. 

But in the back of my head kept playing the conversation I’d had with Jacob on the way home. About how frustrated I was. About how we’d already returned the vacuum and had our deposit refunded before she noticed it was gone. About Jacob chiming in that then it was her responsibility. That was not setting well with me. 

It may not have been my fault the filter was missing but it certainly wasn’t her fault either. 

What kind of example was I setting for Jacob? Aside from that it wasn’t sitting well in my conscience. Once the other fires were out I knew I had to deal with it. 

I called her today and apologized for not getting back sooner. Said (without any details) there had been a family emergency and I hadn’t been able to deal with it. That I’d looked and looked and couldn’t find it. That I would drive into town in a bit and find out what we needed to do to make it right. 

Thinking ughhhhh how much is this going to cost???

She called me back a little while later and said she’d talked to rug doctor and they’d agreed to just send a replacement. That family was the most important thing and my focus should be there not worrying about a silly filter. 

My happiness moment for today was the good feeling of knowing I did the right thing and the added bonus of being rewarded for it. 

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The kindness of strangers (and a friend)

In the last couple of days I have found myself in the position where I needed help. Lots of help. With big changing stuff. Fortunately I didn’t even have time to stress about how the help would come or how everything would fall into place. 

In the last couple of days I have found myself in the position where I needed help. Lots of help. With big changing stuff. Fortunately I didn’t even have time to stress about how the help would come or how everything would fall into place. 

I have an awesome family who provides the strongest of support systems, but they were 2,000 miles away and I was in need of some hands on assistance. 

And the most amazing thing happened. I had a complete stranger enter onto my life and just take over the details of most of the things I needed sorted out. She brought other people who facilitated what needed to be done. And it just all worked out

When I realized that I needed more help, my dear friend arrived at my door – without me asking – and just took the reins. 

If ever I ever had any doubt that God always provides when you ask I have had proof in the last two days. This feeling of deep gratitude to these people who stepped in when they were so needed is my moment of happiness for the day. 

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Share the Love

Yesterday morning I was trying to figure out what to do for Children’s Chapel. There’s always a set lesson, but after that I have to come up with something to do with them for the rest of the time. The past few weeks we’ve been colouring – which at first was a huge hit, but lately has gotten a little boring. I knew it was time to shake things up, but I was at a loss as to what to do.

I remembered last year I’d played a ball game with them that they’d really enjoyed, but didn’t really have much to do with the fact that we were in church. It truly had been a time filler game, and I was hoping for something a bit more. I got to thinking about how much I enjoy the beginning of our time together when we share the best part of our week, or something we are thankful for. It sets the tone for the rest of the lesson, and it lets us all get to know each other a bit better. I decided to see if I could figure someway to combine those two things and came up with a pretty simple game.

We all had to get in a circle and one person would throw a ball at another person. When that person caught the ball, they’d have to say something nice about the person who threw the ball. Wanting to make sure it passed the “cool test” I told my kids what I was thinking about and they both seemed really positive about it. In fact, when we got to church they suggested the three of us throw the ball together and practice so we would know how smoothly the game went. It started out with them being a little awkward and silly: “Your farts stink” Your farts don’t stink” (both of which sadly enough were something each kid took as a compliment), but it quickly turned into genuine kind words “You’ve always got my back” “I like how you are a good brother to me” “You’re a good friend to me”. I could see the smiles on their faces grow and I knew it actually was working.

The same thing happened with all the kids at Children’s Chapel. At first they were a little shy and self-conscious “I like your shoes” “I like your hair”, but it soon got much, much deeper “I like how you are always kind to others” “I like how you always smile” “I like how you always let your little light shine”. I could see them smiling more and more and they all seemed to really enjoy it.

Near the end one of the littler kids got a little antsy and pulled a small bouncy ball out of his pocket and wanted to know if we could play with it. I said if we all sat down we could roll it so we didn’t super bounce out one of the windows. Not sure if they were getting bored I added that they could stop saying the compliments if they wanted and just roll the ball. As my daughter pointed out after though “Mom, did you notice that even after you said they didn’t have to keep saying nice things, they kept on doing it?” Which I had. Because that’s the excellent thing about saying nice things. Once you start, they snowball into more and more nice things, and they become easier and easier to say.

I know my heart left a little happier after our time together. I noticed too that the kids said more kind things to each other during the day.

So easy, and yet so powerful.

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What are you thankful for today?

A moment of gratitude. I try to have at least one every day. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s really, really hard. Today my moment of gratitude is super easy. Today I am grateful for Dottie the Dotted Dog.

I have often wondered how I would react if I felt in danger – specifically if I felt threatened in my own home. I have wondered this more so since last winter when my ever-so-brave cousin ran outside barefoot in her nightgown to save her dog from being attacked from a cougar. Much as I measure cold water by being “creek cold” or not (our creek at home is fed by the Rocky Mountains and can cause numbing pain unless you are brave and prepared for the cold) I measure bravery in terms of “Cherie brave”.I’m pretty sure I’m not brave enough to run outside and chase down a cougar. But, I did discover today that I’m also not the run away, arms flailing, screaming for help type either.

I was downstairs enjoying a nice cup of tea before the kids came home and I heard the dog barking, feet moving and people talking upstairs. It was an hour before kid time, so I knew it was not one of them and I wasn’t expecting anyone. I went and stood at the foot of the stairs to get a better listen and sure enough there were people in the house. I could hear Dottie growling and someone saying “hi dog, nice dog”. I stood there looking at the door to outside wondering if I should just bolt out the door and call the police when I thought ‘no way. My dog is upstairs. I’m not leaving her here with intruders. I thundered up the stairs screaming “what the f**k are you doing in my house? My dog will attack you. Get out!!” I arrived upstairs to see 4 terrified people standing there, one of them stammering “I’m a realtor, I’m a realtor.”

Realtors are supposed to call and set things up. She swore she called our realtor but she didn’t. This woman just walked into our house (along with her clients). I yelled at them to get out of the house, it was not available to show right now and that they could call and set something up. I’ve never seen people run so fast out of a place!

I have never been so grateful for my Dotted Dog who stood at the entrance to the main part of the house growling at them. I have always felt she would protect us, but today I saw how right I was. Those people were lucky they weren’t really attacked (by her or me!) I was also glad to see that in a time of fear I was in fact able to act. Perhaps bolting out the basement door would have been smarter, but I am thankful that as much as Dottie wanted to protect me that I also wanted to protect her.

 

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Sometimes I get short with my Dotted Dog. She can be a maniac and takes a certain amount of understanding and patience. For example she got into the garbage 3 times last week (sigh). But, today was a good reminder that the pure, true love she has outshines anything else. I love her and I am so thankful for her.

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