Tag Archives: tribe

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Social Butterfly

A few years ago I was in Gaeta, Italy and I saw two older ladies walking down the street. They were arm in arm, swaying from side to side, laughing and talking and looking like kindred spirits. I remember stopping and staring at them and thinking I need to find a girlfriend like that. Within a day of seeing those ladies, I spent an afternoon floating in the Mediterranean with a cousin and we were laughing so hard we could barely stay afloat. It was one of those precious, kindred spirit moments.

Since that trip I have kept in mind that I need to surround myself with a good group of girlfriends, my tribe if you will.

For the past four plus years I have had no social life at all. It was a pretty lonely existence, and I used the time to strengthen my bonds with my kids and discover who I really am and what makes me tick (I used the silence to find myself). Now that I am home I’m finding my girlfriend tribe reappear and strengthen in ways I had been dreaming of. I am very fortunate in that I have a huge group of girl cousins, and they are the foundation of my girlfriend tribe.

Over the past few weeks I’ve noticed that the people I’m hanging out with are genuinely happy. I can see it when they smile, their smiles open up windows into their souls. I can see the happiness shine out of them, it’s lovely.  This past week I’ve had many chances to get together with old friends (and cousins), strengthening those girlfriend tribe bonds.

Today’s happiness moment was a two-parter. I went to the Calgary International Film Festival and watched a short animation film directed by my nephew (cousin’s son). He was supported by parents, grandparents, aunts, and cousins. That tribe. Later on I went out to a charity supper for STARS in Bragg Creek and spent the evening getting to know a second cousin and his wife a whole lot better. There were a bunch of happy people at my table and it was good to sit and laugh and enjoy being in the company of people who were joyful. The Law of Attraction, or your vibe attracts your tribe. It makes me believe that I’m on a happier and more positive vibe these days!

I believe I’m well on my way to creating the kind of life that will have me weaving arm in arm down a street laughing with a girlfriend in my old age. That is happiness, that is gratitude.

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When a door closes, another one opens. 

This morning  I went out for my last sunflower walk here at the Tamaya Resort. I very intentionally went “backwards” so that I could walk halfway, stand at the Rio Grande and say thank you to Dad, to the river, to God; and then walk the last part of the path guided by Dad’s sunflowers.

To my initial disappointment, when I arrived at the river there was a lady already standing there. She looked like she was happily enjoying the view, but she was at my place where I had important emotional things I wanted to do. 

Then that lady and I made eye contact and I realized it was Susan, a woman I had shared lunch with a couple of days ago. Every once in a while you meet someone you just click with and I felt that click over lunch. We have a lot in common, but also are very different. Whatever the case, we had that click of a friendship. 

We stood at my spot at the river and hugged and chatted a bit. She was heading in the direction I had just come from and I asked if I could join her and walk together back to the hotel. 

It amazes me when I just  meet someone and already feel so comfortable with them. We talked about our lives and our journeys. When we were at the house of hummingbirds, she said she was taking this course in part in search of her tribe. Right away my ears perked up. I have been actively seeking out my tribe too. I think we may be tribe members. 

As I was packing up I was thinking about having run into her. She said it was interesting how we kept crossing paths (it’s a big place and I’m not a part of this course) and how it must mean something. I thought of how my intention had been to go have a really emotional moment of gratitude at the river for the healing it has offered me. How instead of that intended moment, I walked forward into a new friendship. 

My moment of happiness and of deep gratitude.  I feel every day like I’m making steps ahead on this journey, but big spiritual stuff happened for me these past few days. Fitting that I again was guided on how to move forward instead of standing still with the past. 

Good bye New Mexico, you hold a blessed place in my heart. 

  

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Your vibe attracts your tribe. 

  

I found this quote on Elephant Journal yesterday and it touched my heart. I feel like the most recent part of my life has (among a few other things) been focused on finding my tribe. I have noticed without a doubt that the vibe I’m on affects the tribe I attract. 

I am so thankful that I have changed my intention to that of happiness and health. It has  purified the tribe I am with. With a clearer understanding of what I want and how I want to live my life I find that I am attracting happier and healthier people back into my tribe. 

Being with the tribe I am building now makes me want to dance like the women in this picture. That feeling has been years in the making and has taken a lot of deliberate focus to achieve. I am grateful for it every day. 

When I was a kid and it was birthday time for a member of the family, we had a running joke that the dessert would be rhubarb. It started when my sister and I were little kids and it continues to present day. What kind of cake are we having for my birthday? Rhubarb. We are having rhubarb for supper. And dad made SOUR rhubarb. Not rhubarb crisp, but plain, stewed rhubarb. 

Today my sister went out to the garden, picked some rhubarb and stewed it. After supper we had an impromptu present giving for Jacob’s birthday which is Thursday. The kids got all excited wanting to know what was for dessert and my sister started laughing. Rhubarb. Except this time it really was rhubarb. The happiness moment today. 

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The tribe

  
The thing I’m noticing about being in this current state of crisis is the overwhelming feeling like we are the only people in the entire world this is happening to (we are not). 

It’s a tempting way of thinking though. However, no matter how important I am in the story of my own life, there are so many other life stories unfolding that are just as important.  

But I’m the only one. 

Having a crisis gives me options. I can isolate into that bubble of feeling that this is a unique situation and live and breathe the crisis (tempting and inevitable sometimes). Or, I can look around and see what this situation is bringing me. 

Looking around has made me discover an inner strength that is deeper than I knew. I have discovered I have a much stronger and profound faith system than I was aware of. I have a lot more confidence in me than I thought. 

It has made me more aware of my tribe. 

I have always known my immediate tribe is made of intensely strong and brave people, but I have a new appreciation for just how strong, brave, spiritual, and lovingly kind they are. I have a new respect for how that tribe sticks together and cares for each other – leaving no one behind. No. Matter. What. 

I have discovered there is also this new crisis tribe. The people I meet in the elevators at the hospital who are there in their own crisis. The family members I meet in the waiting rooms in their own kinds of crisis. The kindness and compassion that radiates in these rooms is absolutely amazing. Finally, the people who have dedicated their lives to helping those in the crisis. The helping hand they stick out is invaluable. 

Watching these other people has made me really understand and appreciate the importance of the tribe. Most people have someone with them. Some of these people you can tell have someone who loves them immensely with them   Some of those people have a few someones who love them immensely with them. 

Some of them have no tribe at all. Nobody should have to face a crisis with no tribe at all. Thank goodness for the extended crisis tribe.  

A few have negative tribe.  Like the prisoner I watched walk shackled and escorted by two armed guards to his treatment. Whatever he did, it must be terrible to not have a caring tribe. 

Having someone try and push you down when you need a hand up. Negative tribe 

I am so thankful for my tribe   It’s big. There are members close by and there are members scattered. And I’m thankful for all of them. 

Happiness moment today was sending Jacob off for his first school camp. He was both nervous and excited. I hope he has laughter memories he remembers forever. 

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