My lesson for today has been to reconnect with my heart. I’ve been feeling very out of balance for the last week or so and today it was brought to my attention that I’ve been living in my head – where fear lives – instead of my heart – where love is.
Funny how I had to have a couple of very scary – truly fear filled – experiences to get me out of my fear making head and into my loving heart.
I can’t make good decisions when I’m making them based on fear. And more importantly, I can’t look after myself when I’m basing my emotions on how others behave. If I’m looking for someone else to fill my needs I’ll always be lacking. This goes from everything from the fact that we still haven’t had a June or July payment (or full April or May) from mr. X, to wanting Drishti to behave as I would like (he’s getting much better anyway).
I have to be in balance with myself. And balance doesn’t mean control. I’d love to think I can control the outcomes of everything, but I can’t. And when I’m in my heart I have the faith to trust that the outcome will be the right one no matter what
I managed to have an awesome ride this morning before it got too hot. This guy makes me work through all these issues because the only way we see going to connect and work together is if I lead from my heart. And I love him, so I want it to work. Heart living. Its happiness.