Uncategorized

The door to heaven 

Jacob has been struggling with his relationship with God lately. I think it’s partly his age, partly the grief of losing his grandpa, and partly learning religion in his Catholic school when he’s been raised Anglican/Lutheran. 

Yesterday we stood in the parking lot of Save On, looking at the sunset, and talking about it looking like the door to heaven opening. On the way home I had my own personal confirmation from the heavens that I was on the right path. Little did I know last night when I went to sleep that our sunset miracles were far from finished. 

Jacob woke up this morning as bright eyed as he’s been in ages. He told me that he hadn’t prayed in a long time, but before he went to sleep he had prayed for two things. He prayed to be able to talk to his grandpa one more time, and he prayed for proof that God was real. 

He said last night he had a dream that he walked over to my parents’ house and my dad was waiting there for him. They hugged and then Jacob asked his grandpa a bunch of questions about how he was doing, what it was like and other things. This alone makes me happy as my dad came to me once in a dream not too long after he died, and all I did was yell at him that if he could appear in a dream I wanted him back in real life. 

I’ve  had Jacob tell me the whole story several times today and every time it’s the same thing with the same small details. Like how God has a calm and gentle voice that makes everyone who hears him lose all their stress and worry. Or how his grandpa lives in a house exactly like his old one here and he still sees all the alive people in the house. 

There was a lot more, Jacob walked around the house with grandpa who explained to him how he was able to be there and not be there at the same time. He talked to him about heaven and about God. Jacob is in the process of writing all this down and I will let him tell his story in it’s entirety when he’s finished. 

On the way into school Jacob was once again telling me  his dream and he said I had my prayers answered.  I got to talk to grandpa again, and I now know for absolute certainty that God is real. 

  

What a miracle. I’m still processing it all. 

My happiness moment was watching The Book of Life this evening with the kids. We didn’t know what it was about, but it actually tied in nicely with Jacobs dream and celebrating the memory of those who have passed on. The kids both really enjoyed it, and I love hearing those belly laughs. 

Standard
Uncategorized

My Inukshuk. My path. 

The traditional meaning of the Inukshuk is someone was here, or you are on the right path. 

I spent some time today doing some energy work with Asrael. I always feel so much better after our sessions, but today seemed even more powerful. All things Ayurveda are helpful with my healing. 

Lately I’ve been working on the art of allowing  in my life. I’ve spent years either making things happen by sheer force of will, or denying myself things because I felt I didn’t deserve them. Now I’m learning to allow good things into my life. 

We spent some time today talking about this path that I’m on. I told her about all my doubts and fears and how even with those that  I have the strong feeling that I’m doing exactly what I should be doing. 

 I remind myself to have faith and to listen to that part of my soul that knows I’m doing the right thing. I can feel it, I just have to trust and honour it. I’m doing the right thing, no matter how  anyone else feels about it, or what that tiny voice of doubt says. What I’m doing is healing my soul and that has value. 

Tonight Jacob and I were driving home from school at sunset time. He told me how how school had been all lit up in the sunshine while there were clouds everywhere else. I told him how it was snowing at home. 

When we looked west there was a brilliant yellow sun shining bright and clear rays down on the foothills (by our home). I told Jacob it looked like the door to heaven was open and Grandpa was watching us. He agreed and said he could feel him around. It was like Dad had heard us talking this morning about how much we were missing him. 

As we drove on the backroad home the sunset changed into this 

   
 
An Inukshuk shining brightly in the sky. A sign from the heavens that I’m on the right path. This has been my year of miracles and spiritual guidance. I’m grateful I’m not walking this path alone. My happiness moment. My life. 

Standard
Uncategorized

School stuff 

Sometimes I think the best thing about getting older is the fact that it puts my junior high years further behind me. I get to relive those trying times through my kids though, and sometimes I think it’s more heart wrenching than when I was experiencing things myself. 

Jacob has settled in to his new school well and has made what seem to be a good circle of friends. But there’s one kid…. There’s always that one kid …  who seems to thrive on making his life more difficult. That kid who calls him names. 

I had a long talk with his teacher today about this teasing/bullying. We spent at least a half hour problem solving. I am so happy that he has this teacher – someone who he likes and trusts, who genuinely likes him, who knows the type of person he really is, and who has his back and wants to solve the issue. 

That was enough of a reason for my happiness moment, she finished our conversation by telling me that it was obvious from our talk what a close relationship he and I have. She reminded me that teens only  open up to people they feel safe with and trust. She said it was really nice to hear how lovingly I talked about him and how I was concerned about making sure he had a comfortable environment to learn in. She said relationships like that come only through consistent and caring work and that it showed in the type of person that he is. It made my heart glow in a beautiful happiness moment. 

Standard
Uncategorized

Let’s go riding in the car

We do a lot of driving now that we are living in the country. Most of the time I love it – I take backroads whenever I can so it’s usually stress free driving. This has opened up for us is a lot of time spent together without any other distractions (besides saying ohhhhh look at the sunrise, or look at all the deer, or are those cows out on the road?) and a great opportunity to really talk to each other.

My happiness moment today was driving home with my boy. It’s a bittersweet happiness moment as he was unloading on me all the stress and worries he has about being a 14 year old boy. Sad because I hate to see him struggling with anything, I still wish I could jump in and put a bandaid on everything to make it better. But, it was my happiness moment because it was a beautiful reminder of the bond we share, of the trust he has in me that he will tell me everything that is going on at school. Life at 14 can be difficult, confusing, fun, scary, happy, upsetting, and hormonal – often all at the same time. I feel so honoured that he is taking me on his journey into adolescence and grateful that he’s secure and feels safe enough in our relationship to share things with me.

Love that kid

Standard
Uncategorized

Snowballs and laughter 

We had our first substantial snowfall this morning! Well, for me I wouldn’t use exclamation marks as I still have frostbite memories on my ears and cheeks, but the kids were so excited to see the white stuff coming down.

Jacob had the day off from school, so he was looking forward to getting out and playing in his winter wonderland.

I met him at my mom’s, where he tried to pull a fast one on me by hiding and pelting me with snowballs. I scored best mom of the day when I turned and casually threw one that went right in his face. As he was laughing I pelted him again – perfectly on the nose. Thank goodness i hadn’t packed my snowballs hard. He was all impressed with my aim, and I didn’t tell him I had been aiming for his stomach.

We had to go into town where we were surprised to find there was no snow at all on the ground. We laughed at how funny our car looked piled still in snow while it was clear everywhere else. We both got out of the car at the grocery store, turned and looked at each other, grabbed handfuls of snow off the car, and had an impromptu snowball fight in the parking lot.

A man was standing behind Jacob watching us and laughing. He wanted to know where we got all the snow from. As we walked into the store Jacob turned to me and said “well mom, I don’t know about you, but this was my happiness moment for today”. I love that he is also making sure he has a happiness moment each day.

I agreed with him, but inside I thought and my other happiness moment was getting you with that snowball….

However when we arrived home he got me back…

Standard
Uncategorized

Fall back….into bed

Today was a day that began with many plans. We were going to try a new church. Well, really it is an old but new church. It’s the one my grandma went to and I have fond memories of sitting in service with her. We were going grocery shopping – you know, so we could eat today and tomorrow. We needed to buy gloves and water and a few other boring household things. 

Instead we did nothing. Well, not entirely nothing…. We had naps, watched a movie, and ate. Jenna actually managed to do her homework and I did some coursework for my Ayurvedic class. Jacob spent some quality time cuddling with Ella the cat. 

We needed this day of rest. Yes, there were other things that I wanted to get done, but all of us really needed a quiet day to recharge. 

  
Something I’m really learning to honor is that when my body or soul says it needs rest that I need to listen to that. Otherwise what seems to happen is my body rebels against me and I have to suffer the consequences- usually being down and out for much longer than a day. 

Today’s happiness moment is being able to celebrate a day of quiet with my monsters. It’s nice to just slow down and really enjoy them. 

Standard
Uncategorized

Boo!

   
My happiness moment today was Halloween evening. We went to my cousin’s place and had supper and then the kids went out trick or treating. 

This was awesome for many reasons. This cousin and I are very close in age and spent a great deal of our childhood and youth playing together. We have stayed close, but miles have kept us apart for over 10 years. Being able to reconnect and strengthen that friendship is a great gift in my life. 

Our kids are all at different ages and stages, and yet they all get along and enjoy being together. I smiled watching them all head out to get candy. 

We had a beautiful meal and a relaxing visit afterwards. Times like that haven’t been very common in recent years for us and it’s a blessing to be able to do that. 

After we got home the kids sat with their stash and picked out a few treats to keep. By a few I mean less than 10. I was proud of them as I didn’t give them a limit. But, the rule is if you want the Halloween Witch to come and leave you a present you have to leave out most of your candy. We usually wait an extra day, but they wanted to do it tonight. I’m a big supporter of that. I hope the Witch brings something cool! I’d like a new pony. 

 

Standard
Uncategorized

True love 

 

Today my happiness moment was watching Jenna cuddle with Abu the Cat. Jenna has waited forever to have a cat she can snuggle with and carry everywhere. 

These two are great friends and a great match for each other. Abu came to Jenna at a time when she really needed someone to hug and cuddle with whenever she wanted to. I’m grateful for both Abu and Aladdin. 

Seems fitting on national cat day to have my happiness moment be about a cat!! 

Standard
Uncategorized

Boot to the head 

  
Poor little Jenna came to the car today in tears. She’d been hit in the eye with a frisbee and was sore and upset. Of course the first thing that went through my brain was boot to the head from the Frantics. 

Because most funny things in my brain go back to thr Frantics, Kids in the Hall, or Mr. Bean. I can’t look at a pie, hear the word areas, or stand in line (is this the line? I’ll bet you’re the line) without bursting into uncontrolled giggles. Boredom often leads me to pinch peoples’ heads, and everything else is Mr. Bean. 

Poor Jenna. I did get myself together and give her the sympathy she needed though. 

Yesterday I blogged about  security and confidence and how important it was that our little house is feeling more settled and safe all the time. Jenna told me that as soon as she got hurt, her first impulse was to run into the school and see if her aunt (my cousin) was there. She said I know she’s always at school and I knew she would make me feel all better. I wanted to be with my family. Someone who loves me. 

And that is what this is all about. Living in a way where we have our tribe around us knowing that we are safe and cared for, and that we can make others feel the same. 

That was my happiness moment. Jenna feeling  that wherever she is here there is someone who has her back and will give her a kind hand. We aren’t made to go through this life in isolation and I’m so grateful that we don’t have to anymore. 
On a different note, Dad died 5 months ago today. I don’tknow how I feel about that, but I feel like it bears noting. Miss you Dad xoxo

Standard