Tag Archives: gratitude

happiness

Helping Hands

I screwed something up a couple of weeks ago – not just a small screw up but a rather royal one. I’ve been needing to fix it, which will be hours of work, but life took me in another direction.

This morning I had an email from a lady I know but don’t know well and she offered to take my mistake and fix it for me. When I went to her place to hand her my things I found out she hadn’t even realized mom had passed away. She just knew I was under a lot of stress and reached out to help me.

The kindness of others is so amazing and powerful. I feel so blessed. Honestly, I have been really struggling with this blog the last few days. I don’t want to find the happiness in a moment right now. I want to be mad at God and feel sorry for myself. But things like what happened today remind me that there really are moments of happiness everywhere, and that God always gives me what I need when I need it.

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Look alikes

All her life my sister has rolled her eyes and said yes, I know I look like my mom. We have some sort of cloning factory out here – it’s funny how one generation duplicates its looks onto the next one (my grandpa, uncle, and cousin are prime examples).

Today my sister sent me this photo

and said now you can never say you don’t look like mom. And she’s right. Even down to the surly little mouth turned up. It may be the only time we have looked the same, but in this instance it’s spot on. Lots of memories being shared today – happiness inside the tears.

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Holding each other up

Today was the emotional day of making arrangements for mom. It’s amazing how exhausting that is – it seems like we were just in those offices making arrangements for dad.

However my sister, brother in law, myself and mom’s caregiver made the best of a stressful situation. I don’t know what we would have done the last couple of years without Heather. She quickly became part of the family and she’s become so important to all of us. I particularly appreciated her being there today and jokingly referred to her as my rented husband who I leaned on for support.

We all need to work through this grieving process together. Together it makes an unbearable situation bearable. It’s not joyful, but it’s deep seated soul happiness being surrounded by my tribe

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Unconditional love

I remember when I was younger I’d hear people talk about unconditional love and I couldn’t understand why they made such a big deal out of it.

It wasn’t until I was much older that understood that I had been raised in a house that was fueled and filled with unconditional love. I had the safety of knowing that no matter what I did or how I behaved I was loved. So it became the way I learned to express love as well.

And now as I sit here with mom I am thankful again for the gift of her love. When I came home and I was so broken mom gave me grounding so I could find my footing again. She gave me love so I could feel safe. She gave me support so I could look after my kids. She gave and she gave her love unconditionally and I will be forever grateful for her.

We did a family communion here at the hospital this afternoon. Those rituals being such peace and after we cried and smiled as we shared stories and memories of mom. She’s had quite a remarkable life. I am so grateful for the support of our tribe as they gather around us in person and virtually. It brings happiness and peace.

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You are not alone

The part of my brain that feels sorry for myself keeps yelling out omg why am I dealing with all of this all by myself?

But the part of me who really sees what’s going on says you are not alone

And I’m not

All day long people have been coming by, calling, or texting and saying just that. None of us here are alone. We all have each other. It’s why we need a tribe to get through this thing called life.

This morning I finally got around to putting up the calendar my cousin-in-law made and January’s caption seemed perfect for how I feel today

We need to turn our eyes to that which is unseen and rely on our faith.

Today has been emotional but it has also been filled with peace and love – and that is happiness.

Gratitude:

Mom’s amazing caregivers

My tribe

The kindness of my sister who is staying overnight with my mom.

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Come together

One thing I have learned as I’ve been writing this happiness blog (almost 3 years now) is that happiness isn’t about rainbows and unicorns. It can be found in every moment of life – even the crappy moments. And honestly over the last 3 years I have had a lot of crappy moments.

Lots.

Things aren’t going well with mom, we had some news today that was difficult for all of us. We are now shifting towards comfort care for her and trying to make things more peaceful for her. Love is always the most precious gift to give, and right now she needs a showering of love.

Inside that dark cloud some light appeared. The hospital today quietly filled up with our loved ones. There are sure a lot of people who love my mom, and we have a lot of people who love us too. I talk a lot about my tribe and how I don’t know what I would do without them. Today was a shining example of that truth. The tribe is quietly and lovingly holding us all in this moment and I am so grateful for that. It’s the true meaning of happiness – we are all coming together in love and prayer.

My gratitude today:

My sister

Heather

The rest of my tribe

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She’s a really good person

I drove home one of the girl’s friends this afternoon after their sleepover. My daughter has worked hard to very purposefully pick out kind, thoughtful, fun friends. As this girl got out of my car she said thank you for having me over. I really like spending time with Jenna -she’s a really good person. 

In these teen years that are so filled with uncertainty, drama, and angst for girls I thought how wonderful it is that she’s also got such good friends who not only see but bring out the best in each other. That is a gift that will last her a lifetime. That is happiness.

And I completely agree. She is a really good person.

My gratitude:

the special souls who provide me with a safe place to land

My Drishti

My sister and the strength we draw from each other.

 

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It’s a girl party

The girl is having her sleepover party to celebrate becoming 13. She has purposefully and carefully selected her friends – she’s slowly building her tribe. I love having a house full of kids. It makes me happy that they want to be here and on glad we can all celebrate this awesome girl. Happiness.

Gratitude :

Quiet time with the boy

Giggling girls

Free baklava

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