Tag Archives: gratitude

happiness

The gifts I bring

I feel like I’ve struggled my whole life to acknowledge and accept the gifts I’ve been given. I think I’ve always felt not good enough, or that I don’t measure up in some way. And I don’t think I’m alone in this feeling. I think most of us at some point struggle with our self worth or self esteem.

It’s taken me a long time to understand that my gifts have value not just in spite of them being different, but because they are different. God gave me these gifts and it’s my duty to use them.

Same is true for all of us. We all have unique gifts we have been blessed with. Sometimes they’re harder to find, or a challenge to acknowledge, but our gifts need to be celebrated.

Today I had someone remind me that my gifts need to be celebrated and shared. And yours do too.

My gratitude

Heated steering wheel (it’s -35 it’s important)

My girlfriends

A warm cup of tea

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The foundation of the community

Our community hall has been the hub of our community for generations. We celebrated the 90th anniversary of the building last year, and as a board member it’s been an interesting year to reflect on the importance of the hall to our community.

As a kid I remember going up for lunchbox socials (my grandma always made my lunch so people would actually want to buy it), there were dances and us kids were allowed to go for the “early part” before people went crazy, and then there were the Christmas parties complete with Santa. Our hall holds the memories of the pioneers who settled here so many years ago. They are kept alive by all of us here – the descendants of these people.

I love that there are still so many people here who love what the hall offers to us. It brings us together still, and it seems to be more difficult now to make time for our friends and family – when really that’s what life should be about.

I came home from our monthly meeting tonight with a deep sense of peace and gratitude. I am so grateful I’m part of this community, part of this tribe. Happiness.

My gratitude for today:

I’m grateful for the hall and the community brings together

I’m grateful for found money

I’m grateful for the warmth of my house in this freezing weather.

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And now she’s a teen

My baby girl turned 13 today. I have no idea how she went from the little girl wearing a tutu and playing in the mud to this smart, beautiful young lady- but here we are.

I am so incredibly proud of her and consider her to be one of my greatest blessings.

Her day began as the boy and I sang happy birthday loudly and badly to her. It ended at our 4H meeting with the club having a pizza and cake celebration for her (singing was better this time).

And now she’s in a different phase of life. I know she’ll navigate this with love, grace, and determination – the same way she has approached everything so far in life.

The years I’ve spent being her mom have been some of the happiest of my life.

It has been suggested by my awesome friend and mentor Asrael that I choose three things every day for the next month to be grateful for. So today for day 1 they are:

1. I am grateful for Jenna

2. I am grateful for this safe and loving house in which we live

3. I am grateful for my tribe.

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Never seen you so happy

Keeping with my commitment to look after myself, I got up early this morning and did my morning pages and meditated before the kids got up. For the last few months instead of getting up and doing my morning routine I’ve been lying in bed for an extra hour thinking about how tired I am.

It left me feeling really good and I had a very productive morning which felt amazing. I treated myself after by spending time with my boy

I feel like we are putting the pieces back together and hopefully in the next few days I’m riding again.

When I picked up the kids from school the girl looked at me and said

You know mom, I’ve never seen you so happy as you’ve been since you got Drishti.

I’ve realized this is the first time they’ve seen me like this. I’m not living the dream of someone else – I’m following my dharma, using the gifts that God gave me, doing things that make my soul sing.

I’ve made big changes in my life and the kids have supported me every step of the way. The happier I am, the more I give to myself, the more I have to give them and everyone else. And that’s the point of this happiness journey after all.

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Self care

I’ve realized recently I’ve been doing a terrible job of self care. It’s something I struggle with anyway, but it seems after I broke my shoulder everything went out the window. I haven’t been exercising, meditating, taking my vitamins regularly, or eating as well as I could be.

It seems sometimes like the more stressful life is, and the more I really need to be kind to myself, the more I let it slide.

I can’t afford to do that anymore. If I’m going to be able to care for the people in my life, I need to be able to care for myself. I need to keep my reserves full so there’s enough to give.

So today I set my routine up again. I used to be so good about following a routine

I did my morning pages, elliptical, yoga, and meditated. It’s all important for keeping my balance and keeping me grounded. I need to do all of that every day. It keeps my anxiety at bay (and it’s been bad lately) and restores my energy.

Here’s to remembering that it’s not just ok, but imperative that we care for ourselves. That is happiness.

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Morning in the mountains

I spent a quiet and much needed morning in the mountains today. Canmore is one of my favorite places to be, I feel like I’m getting a giant mountain hug, and that’s good for my soul.

Sometimes it’s important to take a little break from daily life and reset things, restore balance, regain focus, and that’s what I feel the last 24 hours did for me. That’s happiness.

Now I have more energy to give and can focus on the things that need to be done here.

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Walking the line

My baby girl becomes a teenager in a few days. I don’t know how she went from the sassy little girl holding my hand to this sassy young lady avoiding my hand in the blink of an eye – but here we are.

She’s an awesome human being

I took her out for a special girls night to celebrate her upcoming birthday – supper and then a movie of her choice. I figured I’d be stuck watching some awful teen drama. Instead though, we went and watched Ferdinand- because underneath the mascara and flipped hair she’s still the little girl who loves animals.

And I love her and spending time with her. I am honoured that she still wants to spend time with me. It’s happiness.

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It’s not Pony Club

My kids have joined the 4H club in our community. It’s something completely different for me as I grew up in Pony Club, but already I’m loving what this club has to offer. Today they took the kids up to Norquay and they went sledding – after what felt like months of being trapped in the house due to inhuman temperatures we all have a bit of cabin fever and it was good to get them out of the house for a bit.

Yesterday I spent some time thinking about the games Mr. X is playing with the lives of the kids. He is so far behind in his support payments its not a joke, it’s not funny, it’s affecting the lives of the kids on a daily basis. Then moments like today happen and I realize that the kids are being held in the arms of love – both here with their tribe and from Above. It doesn’t make those problems go away, but it makes the power of his hate have less effect. That is the goal for this year – to rid our house and our lives of his hatred and his attempts at fear-making. It hangs there, the lack of payment not only hurts financially but it causes them emotional pain. But his ability to make us afraid, that is getting weaker and weaker all the time. It coincides with our ability to walk in love and peace more and more.

I got to get some work done, have a car visit with my sister, and bug my horse a little bit today – all things that make my soul smile with happiness.

Things are changing. It’s time.

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Birth sister/soul sister

Today was a day that had a lot of anxiety attached to it right from the start. It’s so frustrating to get anxious about things that we can’t change, but sometimes that happens, sometimes (always) things are out of our control, sometimes life is scary.

However as I started this day, I was walking across our yard and noticed the beautiful full moon hanging over the mountains, barely visible through the trees. I love Alberta – I love it much more now that it’s not -50C, but it’s home, and it’s where my people are.

I had a really good quiet moment with my sister this morning. Both our lives are busy and even when we are together usually there’s kids and chaos – which is all good but sometimes it’s important to stop and really check in with each other, and I feel like we did that today. It was much needed and appreciated.

This evening I did much the same thing with my soul sister. We shared supper and stories, laughs and heartaches – she has been a huge support for me through my divorce and all the fallout from that and I’m forever grateful.

I feel like we have created a culture where independence is celebrated – where needing someone is a sign of weakness and we are supposed to be brave and strong all alone all the time. It’s not how I can function. I need my tribe, I wouldn’t have been able to pick myself up and be building a new life for the kids and I if I didn’t have the unconditional love and support from my people. That is happiness.

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