Tag Archives: fall

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I have a dream… I hope will come true…

  
I think Lava has captivated me as much as Inside Out did this year. I’m kind of obsessed with both. Inside Out has helped the kids and me process through so many mixed up emotions in the past few months. Some really heavy, sad, mad, glad, weird shit. It has given us the tools to talk about our emotions and feelings in a way that we didn’t have before. 

I’m so thankful this movie came out when it did. It was brought into our lives at the exact moment that we needed it. In fact, that entire time when I had no choice but to surrender and let go and let God the Law of  Attraction made some powerful changes in our lives. 

It’s out on video now so I can watch it to my heart’s content which makes me full of joy. 

I’ve been discovering some incredible ways to let go and shift out of my body some really crappy, hurt, sad, angry emotions that I’ve been keeping held in for too long. The further I move on the path of my journey of happiness, the more I’m finding that I’m attracting the right people and the right keys to let go of those things that no longer serve me.  I’m reaching for a better and happier life for all of us. 

My happiness moment today was walking through the parking lot with Jenna. The sun was shining down on us and it was a beautiful and warm fall afternoon here in Alberta. She snaked her arm around my back and pulled me in for a big arm squeeze. Then she looked up into my face with her big, innocent, loving eyes and said I love you mom. 

Things like that are the the little moments that string together to make for a happy life. I am blessed. 

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In all His glory

I was lying in bed reading Wayne Dyer’s book Getting in the Gap and learning about finding those quiet moments with God through meditation. I had just put down the book, and was practicing The Lord’s Prayer with his meditation and finding the quiet gap between words when Mom called me. She said we needed to run outside and look nothing west fast before the sun went down. 

It’s like God heard me getting in that quiet space and connecting with Him and reminded me of all the glory He is capable of. This amazing beauty that is here for all the world to see. No matter where we are or how much money we have or what we think our personal value is, this beauty is here in the world for us. 

   
   
I’m blessed that I got to stand outside and share this peaceful and loving sky with my loved ones. Happiness. 

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Potato patch

This garden has been a great source of joy for us over the summer. I can’t believe the time has already come (and we are pushing it) to take the last veggies out to store for the winter. It does not seem like that long ago that Jacob and my brother in law planted while mom and dad supervised. And yet, it seems like a life time ago – because Dad was still here with us.   Next year we will be better at weeding… next year. Given all that was going on this year I’m still pretty happy we managed to grow anything. It never would have happened at all if my brother in law hadn’t given the gift of his time and energy to dig out the garden for us.

My happiness moment today was digging in the garden with my kids. It was great to come together for this chore that didn’t end up feeling very chore-like. I was impressed at how strong Jacob is – he can do such a better job than I can of digging down to find the potatoes. Listening to Jenna’s giggle every time she found a potato to put in the pile brought a smile to all of our faces. What a great day!

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Morning soul warmth. 

I need to add a happiness moment to my post from earlier today. 

As we were getting in the car to head to school this morning I looked east and saw this sight:

  
The sun rising over the hill while the cattle were grazing.  Every single second I count my blessings that not only are we home, but that we are home. Nestled right in the heart of our family, where our roots are planted, in the house where it all started, with views like this as a way to start the day. 

We are incredibly blessed and fortunate people. 

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The morning rush 

Simplify. Simplify. Simplify. Having been a fan of Thoreau for almost 30 years I have read those words over and over. Yet the actual concept of being  and living a more simple life is often one that I struggle with. 

I don’t want to be all high maintenance, yet I know I kind of am –  I like nice things. My body does not want to sleep on a wood palate, I like nice clothes and tasty food. I have purple streaks in my hair that take more time a month to get touched up than I care to admit. 

When we went to Waldon Pond a few years ago I had a better understanding of what Thoreau meant. Simplify was an easier concept when I stood in the beauty of that pond and saw what it was he looked at every day. And he didn’t live there in isolation either, he was constantly back in town visiting. Simplify and deprivation have very different meanings and I think I’d been confusing the two. 

Over the past few months the kids and I have learned how to simplify. We have gone from the big flashy house to the old in need of love house. We are now living in about a third the size of house, with a third the amount of stuff and on a much stricter budget. 

We have to be simpler. 

And here’s the interesting thing. We are all happier in the old in need of love house. I can see it in the kids’ smiles, in the way they run outside and yell at me to come see something that has caught their eye, as they’re running across the yard to play with cousins or to visit nana. A happiness that has come from simplifying our lives.  

I’m thinking that maybe simplifying does not mean giving up what I love and going without so much as it means figuring out what is really important and only keeping those things in my life. Getting rid of excess and clutter has lessened my anxiety and brought me back to balance and happiness. 

We turned onto the road today and I looked west. The moon was hovering so perfectly over the mountains we had to turn off into the neighbors’ driveway to look at it.   
Then as we went down into the valley, the sun was peering up from the other side. 

  And as we came out across the valley the moon showed itself to us one more time before we turned the corner and headed into a huge wall of fog coming up from the river. 

I said to the kids how lucky we were that what made us slow on our drive to town today was that we had to keep pulling off the road to admire the beauty of the morning. 

So many people started their day rushing and anxious and tired. We are so blessed that we started it in amazing nature of Creation. It blesses us, grounds us, nurtures us, and brings us incredible joy and happiness. My happiness moment today.  

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Harvest time 


The garden this year has been a very emotional space for me. It was planted with the supervision of mom and dad on Mother’s Day weekend by my sister’s family and the kids and I.

Gardening was something we always did with dad. He always had a plan as to what he wanted to grow and where. It was difficult to say the least this year, him planning out what he wanted planted and then hearing  him acknowledge that he wouldn’t be around to watch it grow.

It has brought us a lot of joy over the summer. The weeds got wayyyy beyond me, but the looks on the kids’ faces as they’d run out to the garden to grab a carrot or check for peas was one of the highlights of the summer.

Tomorrow it will be four months since dad moved forward on his journey. Enough time for the garden to grow and then to be harvested. I’ve done a lot of personal growth during this time as well,  and I have my dad to thank for pushing me to reach forward in my spiritual journey.

It has been a year with a lot of change and amazingly through all the heartaches there have been a lot of smiles. I know for a fact that I’m a better person now than I was at the beginning of this year. And I have a lot more compassion and a lot more faith in myself and in my strength.

My happiness moment was pulling carrots in the garden with Jenna, my mom, and my sister and her kids. I know dad was there enjoying it with us too.

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Jump into fall

I took a cold induced nap this afternoon. When I went to sleep it was rainy and gross, when I woke up it was warm and sunny. Welcome to Alberta.

After I rolled off the couch and assessed myself – coughing less, breathing easier, thankful for that  – I looked outside and saw some of the family up at my cousin’s trampoline.

I headed across the field and spent a wonderful chunk of time watching kids (and once my sister) bounce and flip and generally have a great time defying gravity.

I’m loving the beauty of fall this year. This is my favourite view on earth. The view from home.

My happiness moment. Standing outside watching our kids – cousins- spending time together. We are so blessed that they are getting the chance now to grow up knowing each other. Standing in the beauty of the place I love so much. Happiness really does begin at home.

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The road I know 

A whole season has come and gone in the 4 months minus 6 days since Dad died. When he left to go to the hospice (the day before he died) the blossoms were brilliant on the trees and the birds were singing songs of spring. 

Now the leaves have turned and are starting to fall. They’re beautiful now but we all know we are one big wind away from them all coming off. All the more reason to celebrate the beauty of now. 

We have been missing Dad more the past few days. Jacob is talking about him a lot on our drives. I’m thinking of him as I’m walking through the yard. Jenna got in the car this afternoon and burst into tears because I miss grandpa. He always would do things with me.  I miss doing things with him. 

He was always so good about joining us in whatever activities we were interested in. And in doing it with enthusiasm. 

But, this is the road we are on now.  

It’s weird because we have come full circle and in some ways are back on old roads. Old roads with some new twists and  turns. 

I think often how blessed we are to be back where we belong. Where, out here, every road I roam has bits of past Melissa left on it. It’s very comforting to be surrounded with memories and with familiar landmarks. Pieces of my soul live out here. Pieces of Dad’s do too. There is also a lot of comfort in that. 

Today’s happiness moment was looking at the mountains as we drove to and from school. Everything is so crisp and brilliant. I feel like we are mourning the loss of one season and celebrating the turn of another (even though fall here lasts only a hot minute). 

  

I celebrate driving down the road I know
 

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Head in the clouds

I love it when a happiness moment happens first thing in the morning. Starting the day with smiles and laugher is a better boost than any cup of coffee ever could be. 

We were driving down into the hay valley on our way to school when we noticed that there was a cloud lying in the middle of the field. 

We all got excited, as every time we drive through a cloud we reach our arms out and try to grab it. We had low lying clouds that would rest on our mountain in Roanoke so it’s a past happiness memory. 

The three of us unrolled our windows and held our hands out touching the cloud while we laughed at how silly we were. After we stuck our hands back inside we all tried to find bare skin on someone else to show them how incredibly cold our hands were. Which brought more laughter. 

  

I love these drives back and forth from school. Many happiness moments happen while we cruise this beautiful country. It’s good to be home. 

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The middle of the road 

Jacob has been home sick the past couple of days. Welcome to back to school time- suddenly we are around a lot more people, add in some personal stress on his part about starting a new school – and voila! Cold virus enters our house. I knew he was really sick today because he had to miss 3 blocks of phys ed, making it his absolute favourite day of the week.

Towards the end of the afternoon he seemed to perk up a bit and wanted to watch a movie with me. I pulled out one that I’d PVR’d a while ago just hoping someone would want to watch with me. An old classic (in my mind), Canadian Bacon. As someone who has lived in both the States and Canada I love the stereotypes in this movie. Add in John Candy, Alan Alda, and Dan Aykroyd, as the Canadian cast actors and it is just that much sweeter. I miss John Candy – he made me laugh. They all make me laugh.

It was awesome that Jacob also got a lot of the double entendres of the movie. He remembers living in Quebec and having the language police checking to make sure things were in both English and French. He knows how many people think that Toronto is the capital of Canada. Often when we are out in public I’ll turn to the kids and say “be normal… not normal for you, normal for everyone else”. He now knows that line comes from this movie. And oh my… the scenes in the RCMP detachment, I could watch them over and over.

My happiness moment today was sharing a movie that I love with him. In the 25+ years I’ve been watching it, I’ve never found anyone who would watch it with me. It was wonderful to have someone to laugh at it with. Someone who got it in many of the same ways I do.

Today as I was driving home from the morning school drop off I came across someone else who drives the same way I do on my road. This road I drive as fast as I can and right down the middle. I have to – the pot holes are so bad you have to know exactly where to drive to keep the car in one piece. I was flying in the middle going one way and a big white truck was booting it down the middle going the other way. As we moved to our own sides we waved, braked, and backed up so we were window to window. It was my cousin-in-law. We sat on the middle of the road having a morning chat, giving each other heck for being on “our road”and  in the “middle of the road”. When we were done and had each pulled away, Jacob started laughing. He was looking in the rearview mirror and said “and here you guys go again, right down the middle of the road as fast as you can”.

It’s good to be home. 

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