My girl spent the afternoon at the mall with a friend. When I picked her up she handed me a bag of Purdy’s and said she knew I was having a rough week and thought my favourite chocolate would cheer me up. She’s so thoughtful.
I finished off the day by having a much needed girl’s night out. I haven’t been making time for friends the way I need to, and sitting and laughing with a group of women was exactly what I needed.
I’ve always learned my best life lessons via my horse. Right now what I seek to be struggling with is trust – trust in myself, trust in others, trust in God (and apparently trust in my horse).
I also need to be trustworthy. Drishti needs to trust me as much as I trust him or we will never work. I need to be dependable, reliable, and predictable with him so he knows he can count on me.
Slowly, and with help, we are rebuilding. I’ve always believed that once trust is broken it’s shattered forever. But maybe, with intentional healing it’s possible that we will end up with an even deeper bond than we had before.
The girl and her dog completed week three of obedience school tonight. It’s amazing how much progress they have made in such a short time. Similar actually to the progress my Drishti has made in the last few weeks with some training.
I’m really understanding how important it is to be reliable, predictable, dependable, and consistent. In a word trustworthy.
If you’re going to be in a partnership with anyone – an animal or a person – you need to be trustworthy. It’s the only way it will work.
Watching their trust bond grow is awesome
The boy went for his first full out solo drive today. It’s a big deal – I remember that sense of freedom I had the first time I drove by myself and although I don’t feel like he’s old enough – he’s more than old and responsible enough.
Things change so fast, babies grow up in the blink of an eye (such a cliche but so true), but they are such amazing humans I couldn’t be happier with the people they are becoming.
It has been 8 months since Mom died. It feels both like forever and that it’s impossible to believe it’s been that long. Seasons have changed, houses have changed, people have changed, I know for a fact that time has marched on. I watched a video the other day not realizing mom was in it – that familiar voice that I haven’t heard in what feels like so long.
It’s all part of life, this death crap, and we need to embrace the love that we received, but also the love that we have right now. Those memories are strong and I hold them dearly – but this moment in time – right now – it’s important. It’s vital we keep walking through the mourning process so that we fully embrace the beauty of the lives we are living right now, in the present moment. I think both mom and dad would like that very much.
I understand the concept that while what happened to you may not be your fault,you are totally responsible for healing it. Sometimes though it feels like the healing process goes on and on while the person who caused the pain skips through life with no consequences
Today it was necessary to stop and take a few healing breaths. It feels like sometimes it is the only way to catch enough air and rest to continue on with the journey
Thank goodness we are able to stop and rebalance at times.
We finished off the weekend by making apple crisp. The honey crisp apples are out – my favorite of all the apples – and we chopped and cooked and ate and laughed. Sharing making memories. Accepting the change of season.
I have been reminded lately how important it is to do small acts of kindness, how much it means when someone goes out of their way to bring sunshine and light to your life. It doesn’t have to be big, earth changing moments – those are nice – but it’s the small ones that add up. When someone looks at your life and sees small holes, gaps that need to be filled, and they know how to put a little bit of light in those dark spaces – it’s amazing the difference that makes.
And that stuff is contagious. The more light that fills my soul the more light I have to shine in the world – and I believe we are all that way. If we absorb gifts of love we radiate the same light back out into the world.
It’s easy to get trapped in the darkness, but it really doesn’t take much light to make that darkness go away.
Yesterday in a box I found the recipe mom gave me when I got married for her Moroccan Chicken soup. Mom didn’t really care much for cooking, but this was one dish she did really well and enjoyed making for us. Tonight I made it for my kids and they enjoyed it as much as my sister and I used to.
I’m so grateful for these hand down recipes – the smell, the taste, brought me back to happy times in my childhood. It hasn’t been 8 months yet since mom died, but as the season is changing and snow was falling today it seemed like it has been so much longer. I’m grateful for the memories we carry with us.
Tonight for the first time since junior high I was treated to sponge toffee. There was a candy store near my junior high that made the stuff and I enjoyed it in those years but then completely forgot about it.
The stuff tonight was dipped in chocolate which made it that much better.
Life should be sweet like sponge toffee.
