Tag Archives: happiness

happiness

For you

I was really missing dad this afternoon. The weather is warming up, we are (hopefully) nearing spring. Soon the swans will fill the slough and the calves will be born. Spring was dad’s season.

When I was here, he’d drag me around the fields looking for crocuses, watching the calves, giving gratitude for life. When I was away he’d send me photos of all of those things so that I remembered. So that I remembered gratitude for all that God has gifted us.

I put John Denver on my Spotify because when I hear him, or hear ABBA, I feel dad. And I listened.

A song came up that I don’t recall hearing before – which is amazing because dad played that music continuously when I was a kid.

The song is called For You, and I think it is a beautiful expression of love. This is how we should love and be loved.

I had a moment of gratitude towards both Johns (my dad and Denver) for the reminder of how love is what it’s all about. I hope they’re jamming together in heaven.

For You

John Denver

Just a look in your eyes again

Just to lay in your arms

Just to be the first one always there for you

Just to live in your laughter

Just to sing in your heart

Just to be everyone of your dreams come true

Just to sit by your window

Just to touch in the night

Just to offer a prayer each day for you

Just to long for your kisses

Just to dream of your sighs

Just to know that I’d give my life for you

For you for the rest of my life

For you all the best of my life

For you alone, only for you

Just to wake up each morning

Just to you by my side

Just to know that you’re never really far away

Just a reason for living

Just to say I adore

Just to know that you’re here in my heart to stay

For you for the rest of my life

For you all the best of my life

For you alone, only for you

Just the words of a love song

Just the beat of my heart

Just the pledge of my life, my love, for you

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happiness

Tea and chats

The girl and I hung out for a couple of hours at the coffee shop while the boy had an after school activity.

When the kids were at different schools I used to get daily one on one time with each kid in town, but we don’t do that much anymore. It was awfully nice to just be able to focus on her and what she wanted to share with me about what is going on in her life.

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happiness

Family birthday st paddy’s style

We had a family supper celebrating my uncle’s birthday tonight. Lots of good laughter and conversation, ending in a big political conversation with my son and cousin. As someone who avoids political conversations at all costs it amazes me that he’s so interested in it. But he’s figuring out who he is and what his beliefs are and that’s a good thing.

Mostly it was just really nice to spend time with my tribe.

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4h and coffee shops

The kids had multi judging with 4H today and when we got there they kicked the parents out. We did the only reasonable thing and spent the next few hours visiting in the local coffee shop.

I forgot how much I like the town of Olds.

I needed the soul nourishment of the visit.

I remembered how grateful I am for our club and my tribe.

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Landslide

I cannot get this song out of my head today. It started on auto repeat in my brain as soon as I woke up and it just keeps getting stronger

I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
‘Til the landslide brought me down
Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin’ ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Mmm
Well, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m gettin’ older, too
Well, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m gettin’ older, too
I’m gettin’ older, too
Ah, take my love, take it down
Oh, climb a mountain and turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide will bring it down
And if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well, the landslide will bring it down
Oh, the landslide will bring it down
I have read so many different interpretations of the song and I keep thinking – yes that’s how I feel, no that’s how I feel – it seems no matter how people interpret it (including Stevie Nicks) that it resonates in my soul.
So, I sit here in Grandma’s kitchen, looking west at the snow covered hills, and I see my reflection everywhere around here – reflections of grandma and grandpa, reflections of my parents, reflections of my aunts and uncles, reflections of my cousins, reflections of me and my sister, reflections of my children. I look up to the mirror in the sky (for me that’s God) and that’s where so many of them are now, and I ask “what is love” and I know what it is, because they showed me, it’s part of what is reflected here.
This is one of Dad’s photos, it seems fitting… it’s my view
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Take a pause

I’ve been listening to Iyanla Vanzant on an Oprah podcast and she said:

  • When you find yourself in a new situation, a new circumstance, a new life situation

    • Everything that requires healing is going to rush to the surface

    And if you don’t take a minute to breathe, to gather yourself, to pray – you will do what you’ve always done

    So you’ve got to be clear enough, grounded enough, centred enough, to say

    How am I going to handle it this time

    So the lesson is… pause

    Then she talks about how we go from one job, age, relationship, to the next without a pause

    We leave a relationship and jump into the next one thinking the grass is greener

    But because you haven’t paused, you bring all your old stuff into it.

    I have been craving this pause. This place to stop and unpack what is no longer serving me and leave it being.

    I’ve been slowly in the process over the last few years, but the call is getting stronger. It is becoming a matter of survival.

    Stop

    Pause

    Let go

    Change

    Embrace new beliefs

    Connect with God

    Pray

    Sit in stillness

    Be at peace.

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    Our Deepest Fear

    Our Deepest Fear
    By Marianne Williamson

    Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. 
    Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. 
    It is our light, not our darkness
    That most frightens us.

    We ask ourselves
    Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
    Actually, who are you not to be? 
    You are a child of God.

    Your playing small 
    Does not serve the world. 
    There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking 
    So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

    We are all meant to shine, 
    As children do. 
    We were born to make manifest 
    The glory of God that is within us.

    It’s not just in some of us; 
    It’s in everyone.

    And as we let our own light shine, 
    We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. 
    As we’re liberated from our own fear, 
    Our presence automatically liberates others.

    This is taken from her book A Return to Love which is one of my all time favourite reads.

    I have been working a lot with forgiveness lately. Clearly given my reaction to an incident a few days ago I still have a ways to go with forgiveness. Time helps, but I don’t believe it actually heals all wounds. I need to actively work at it, and ask God for help with it, but I’m determined to do it. That will being peace which is what true happiness is after all

    As an added bonus happiness moment, we saw the new Marvel movie. Those films have become a tradition in our home that we quite look forward to.

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    Hall things

    We had another meeting at the hall to see where they are at on our steps towards historical designation.

    I’m not sure yet where it will lead, but it’s been fascinating learning more of the history of the building and the community. I love this community and the people in it – I feel fortunate all the time that this is my tribe. And that hall is full of generations of our memories.

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