Tag Archives: swans

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Cameras, Swans, and Dad

My sister and I spent part of the weekend dividing up Dad’s cameras. It’s something I know he would want us to do, but a very difficult thing nonetheless. Dad loved taking pictures, and he loved sharing them with his loved ones. We know that he would want us to keep on taking pictures and capturing family memories.

I was fiddling with my camera this afternoon and noticed that there were still photos Dad had taken left on the memory card. It seems he took them this time of the year (or maybe it was early spring) because the swans were on the slough just like they are now.

He has some amazing swan photos, the ones on my camera aren’t some of his best work. But, it was both my happiness moment, and a  sadness moment to open them up and take a look.

I have lots of memories in my head that I will take with me forever of Dad and of our family unit. However, having these tangible memories he made for us helps my heart heal a little bit more. It reminds me to get out and look at the swans, to go out walking, to admire the mountains and the barn, to jump into life every chance I get.

I’m noticing the farther I’m getting into my days of happiness the more that happiness is truly becoming part of my life. I still look for my moment each day, but I’m getting happier and happier all the time. Happiness in the core of my being is becoming more a way of life and I’m so grateful for that.

a couple of Dad’s photos

DSC_2617 DSC_2594

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Shifts and changes

It’s seems as though it’s time for changes both inside and out. There is no more ignoring the fact that the season has changed. The leaves are long gone, the grass has gone brown, there is frost on the ground and the car in the mornings, and now… as I mentioned yesterday, the swans are here.

it’s a terrible picture, but it was taken with my iphone as I ran after them down the ramp towards the highway. I didn’t want to upset them by getting any closer, and of course I didn’t have a better camera with me.

I have hundreds of photos that Dad sent me of the swans. He really loved it in the spring and fall when they would come stay at the slough for a while before continuing on on their migratory path.

So, it’s bittersweet. When Dad died the swans were still here, it was the beginning of spring, there was new life all around. It’s harder to see them now, but it is a reminder that life goes on, and I must too.

Even though it fills me with sad feelings of missing Dad, I still love the swans. I love them for themselves, the beautiful and graceful birds that they are. I love them because they fill me with happy memories of us all rushing out to see them and to stand and watch as they swam on the slough and flew in the field above us. I am happy because we can still do that and we can share it with each other now.

I’ve been doing lots of energy work, and am happy that I’m finally able to clear some pretty big energy blockages that I’ve had stored deep inside for a long, long time. It’s time to let things to, and to let flow and joy back into all areas of my life. It’s exhausting work sometimes, but I feel lighter and stronger and happier because of it. More and more I am seeing that I am attracting good things into my life.

My happiness moment today came when I finally understood a key part of my Ayurveda course. I’ve been struggling with this for ages and no matter how many ways I looked at it, it just wasn’t making sense. All of a sudden today *bing* something shifted and now I understand it. I had to do a little happy dance around – what a great feeling!

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Party party 

Tonight we went to a big family birthday party. Thrown by a couple who really know how to throw a good party. Since childhood I’ve made it a point to try and weasel an invitation to one of their “hellabaloos” as he called it tonight. 

Good timing too because we really needed to get out and let our hair down and have some fun. I went with my parents and my kids and it was much needed fun and visiting. 

Every morning on our drive into school we pass a man driving a black truck heading the other way. We always wave and smile. In fact the kids and I judge how late we are by where we meet him on the road. 

Tonight at supper we were eating with my parents, my aunt and uncle and a few other people. One of them said I pass you when you’re out walking your dog during the day. I drive a black truck. So Jacob turned to him and said do we pass you on our way to school too? And he looked at me and said you drive the silver car through the hay valley?  We both decided now we will be giving big huge waves as we pass instead of little polite ones. 

I’ve told the kids that when they go out here they’ll always run into family. To find out this man is married to a cousin of my mom – their nana – just confirmed for them that they are home and constantly surrounded by family 

It was fun, it was important to be brought back into the loving arms of our clan. Today’s happiness moment. Out with my family with the family. 

Here’s the kids at the party:  
Don’t you love the cowboy light hat? 

 

Just to prove we live in the most beautiful place in the world this was the view towards our house on our way home. The pair of swans has decided to stick around for a while.   

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Swans

Happiness moment of the day: driving by one of the sloughs today there were still swans swimming around. This slough goes right up to the road and the swans were only about 10 feet away from me. 

I really wanted to stop and have a good look at them and be one with nature. But there was a truck coming up behind me, and it was a gravel road. If you are lucky enough to be in first place on a gravel road you don’t give that up   So no swan picture…

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Glamping

Today ends our Glamping (glam camping) trip. For the past few weeks we’ve had a whole house set up with borrowed furniture (some of it lawn) from family. Which has been so kind and actually sort of fun. But today our stuff cleared customs and tomorrow it gets filled (somehow) into the house. We are so excited. 

But today we made use of the empty space. Ella started climbing up the dog kennel and scratching at her kennel this morning. This was odd behavior because it was just bought for her flight here and isn’t a safe place for her to go. I went over to see what she was doing and found a mouse that my husband had snuck inside for her to play with. Almost 3 weeks go by and she decides to find the mouse. 

So we played fetch across the red carpet 

  

See the Glamping style chairs? They’re actually very comfortable. 

  

I am so jealous because while I was out at customs the kids built a huge fort city in the open rooms and are going to have the sleepover to end all sleepovers with their cousins tonight. 

A happiness moment. 

  

However, my happiness moment today was out on my morning walk when the swans flew honking along with me. I love them. 

 

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Holy Cow!

When I was a little girl my grandpa used to take me around the ranch in his truck. I have fond memories of bouncing through the fields chattering away with him – laughing, singing, whistling. My mom says I thought that damngate was what all gates were called because of these rides. As fun as it was (and it was very fun), I also remember him warning me often and severely about how dangerous the cows were. I was little – like 5 or maybe 6 – and the regular cows were big, but the chianina’s they had were gigantic. The fear was real. I was terrified.

Sadly my grandpa died when I was 7, but I have tons of great memories of doing things with him (lucky me). However, one thing he didn’t do was reprogram me from my fear of cows. Still when I’m out walking and there’s a rogue cow on the road I’ll turn around and hustle myself back home as fast as I can. Even if they’re on the other side of the fence and they look at me funny I get a little giggly in the legs.

I have been lucky enough to have been invited out to “help” (and I use that term very loosely) chase cows on horseback which I enjoy. But, last summer my cousin invited me to “help” chase bulls and I have to say I was more than a little terrified. All was fine while I was just left to meander along through the field looking for flowers. But as soon as I was told to go get a bull and bring it back into the herd I was a total puddle of fear (after following the bull around for a while with him glaring at me and me pleading him to please stop being such a butt and just go back I was saved by one of the ranch hands who so easily brought him back).

Today I was out walking Dottie along the road. It’s calving season so the cows are up in the homestead field which is right beside where we walk. Across from this field is the slough where the swans are hanging out on a break from migrating north for the summer. I was stopped on the road to admire the swans when I felt Dottie push in between my legs and start to shake. I looked down and my little Dotted Dog was all puffed out like a porcupine. All of her hair on her body was standing straight up and she was shaking all over. I looked where she was looking and…. cows!!! Dottie saw her first cow and just about had a cow herself.

Finally she got a little braver and went across the road (on her leash) with just her hackles up to get a better look at them. Stopped, stared, ran back behind my legs. She did this a couple of times and then just ran/walked/glared at the cows until we were past the field

Fear of cows. It’s a real thing.

The swans were amazing this morning. Such beautiful birds. On my way back I was admiring them when a bald eagle flew over my head and up into the homestead field. Bliss. My moment of happiness today – swans, eagle, cows, and my dotted dog.

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My sanity walks

Walking  the river in Roanoke began the healing of my spirit. Ever since I stopped riding I’d been searching for something to take on that spiritual healing part of my life. I have found it somewhat both through yoga and my morning walks. 

Well, now my morning walks look like this:

   

And not only is it beautiful, but it is the place where my spirit soars. Where with every step I take I have a memory attached to it. This road I walk I have ridden my beloved ponies hundred of times over the years. I have ridden down this road with my grandpa, my mom, my dad, my sister, my cousin, my dog. I have even pretended to chase cows down this road. 

Today as I stopped to admire the view I heard honking. I thought it was geese, but when I turned 2 pairs of swans were right over my head   They flew and honked right  past me  heading towards my parents’ place. I had to just stand in the middle of the road and be happy and grateful that I was here in that exact moment. My moment of happiness.    

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