happiness

Off balanceĀ 

A few weeks ago I had this amazing acupuncture treatment. I don’t know how to explain what he does, but it does weird and powerful things to my energy. 

I was telling him about the issue I was having staying connnected to God and a message I had received from Him that I was having a hard time figuring out (of course I wasn’t having a hard time figuring it out, I just wasn’t a fan of the message and wanted it to be something easier). 

He had me out my arm out and use all my force to stop him from pushing it down. I am weak apparently and it didn’t take much for him to break my hold. Then he told me to pick a spot to focus on (my drishti  before Drishti) and connect myself to my Source and hold my arm. He couldn’t move it no matter what he did. 

He said this is how strong you are when you are connected to God. Why would you go through life any other way? 

And then he grabbed my waist and pushed me sideways towards  the couch and said of course, when you’re totally focused and in balance, life has a way of coming at you ahd throwing you off balance where  you least expect it

Truth. 

Today I was a it riding Drishti and was all proud of myself. I had finally found a good balance of holding on and letting go. I was trusting him to run and have his head a little more and feeling so happy that I could literally let go of the reins and enjoy the ride. 

And of course he took that opportunity to stick his head between his legs and take off bucking. He was just having fun and I was able to stop him before I hit the ground. But a reminder that the balance of holding on and letting go is constant. And that even when I think I’ve got it all figured out the unexpected will happen. 

A good lesson to hold as we walk this path that has so much uncertainty. I know it’s being lit up as I need it to be, but I still want a stronger flashlight. 

There is a soul freedom I get on that horse I can’t get doing anything else. I connect myself to God and just am. It’s happiness. He’s awesome. 

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happiness

Transformational healing

I am blessed in that I am surrounded by a community of amazing healers. New ones keep entering my life at every step of my growth and what is happening is pretty awesome.

Today I had an appointment with someone who does transformational acupuncture. I don’t even know how to begin to describe the session, but it opened up a whole new path on my healing journey. It made me aware of issues that I’ve been dealing (and not dealing) with for years, it gave me some awareness of how to embrace them and how to work with them.

He kind of “Yoda’d me” with some wisdom. Some very obvious wisdom, but sometime I really need things dumbed down and said very plainly so that I can see how obvious it is.

We were talking about my life over the last few years and the journey of healing and growth that I have been on as a result of it. He pointed out (which I was aware of) that maybe the pain and dark times was to let me know for certain that I needed to strengthen my relationship with God, to walk His path, and to trust in my faith. That faith part has been a big deal the last couple of years. I really have learned that when I trust and have faith in God that he always comes through for me – maybe not in the way I had intended, but always in the way that is best.

But then he said that I needed to be really clear about how I was looking at things. Like when Yoda said do or do not, there is no try – he pointed out that I either have faith or I don’t, that I either am happy or I’m not. There’s no in between. If I say I’m seeking happiness, then I’m not happy. If I’m happy, I’m enjoying my life of happiness, sitting in that moment with it, not seeking it because it is already with me. Same thing with faith – I either have faith that God has a plan for me and that I’m walking a spiritual path with Him, or I have doubt that I’m doing the wrong thing and that He does not have my back. I’ve been filled with doubt – even when I’ve been focusing on my faith. My brain loves to grab all of the what ifs and go crazy with them.

And why do I not always have faith? I know to the core of my soul that God has been holding my hand and walking me through this tornado of pain and emotions that has been raging around me. I feel His love, I know He is there for me. Why do I sit in doubt and fear when happiness and faith is an option? He is offering me peace in the storm and I so often choose to stand fearfully alone in the turmoil.

Seriously. It’s so simple and yet SO  hard.

But, now I am aware of that and my intention is to walk in faith, in happiness, and in peace. I know what it feels like and I believe that we were meant to have both in this life.

And THAT is my happiness moment.  


 

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