happiness

Held in love

The boy was saying today how much he misses my mom. He said sometimes he has to try and explain to his friends how close they were – and I remind him that it’s not common anymore for kids to be so close to their grandparents.

For me, it seems totally natural. I was close with my grandma, even in my 20s I would usually come home for Sunday night supper with my parents, and I am trying my best to keep the closeness of family with my own children.

I came across this image today and it reminded me how even though some of our loved ones may be gone, they haven’t left us.

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happiness

How to Train Your Dragon

We took advantage of cheap movie night and saw the latest How to Train Your Dragon movie, and it didn’t disappoint.

The girl said the original was one of her favorite childhood movies – and I reminded her that one of my childhood friends bought it when she was visiting us in Rhode Island so that we could have some peace and quiet to visit on a long car trip.

They’re such cute movies and we all get pretty into the idea that we could fly around on pet dragons.

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happiness

Star Wars monopoly

We went through our board games and found one that we (somehow) haven’t played yet. In a family as Star Wars-y as we are I don’t know how we missed Star Wars monopoly but we had.

I went broke first, as I always seem to in monopoly. I got into a bidding war and lost horribly – but I made my point so maybe it was worth it?

Unplugged family moments are important.

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happiness

Little Purdy’s chocolates

We had to brave the mall today to grab a couple of things. The girl took off to do some window shopping on her own while we grabbed our items. When she met up with us after, she pulled a small bag out of her picked and placed it in my hand and said this is for you.

She’d gone to Purdy’s and bought me a few of my favorite chocolates.

That is love.

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happiness

Back in the saddle

I had a riding lesson today. I’ve been having big breakthroughs, and massive meltdowns as I’ve been going along – last time was a bit of both and today was mostly breakthrough.

I finally told my instructor why I quit riding more than 20 years ago and how some of those fears (or all of those fears) were still there. She changed how we were doing things to enable me to feel more confident and secure, and therefore better able to communicate with my horse.

At the end of the lesson she got very emotional with me and said she knew how hard it was to get back on when I had been scared so badly (both in the past and more recently) and how most people would just give up riding forever.

I said how horses have always been my greatest healer and that we were not just healing my riding fears, but clearing so many of my life blocks as well.

I feel so grateful that I’ve got this instructor who gets me and understands how I need to be both pushed and held to feel safe.

It’s healing every part of my life.

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happiness

Twin Lakes

Dad always was telling us stories of his childhood at the cottage at Twin Lakes. His lifelong love of swimming began there, his strong sense of family grew there, and I know that part of his heart always stayed there.

This morning I had a call from my aunt (dad’s sister) that my uncle (dad’s brother) passed away last night. He was the one sibling who stayed in New Liskeard, ran the family law office, and raised his family there.

My heart aches for my cousins. They lost their mom only a couple of months before my mom died. It’s a lot to process at the best of times, but it’s just so close.

One thing I know for sure is that family is filled with love. I have been on the receiving end of it, and I’m so happy to be part of it.

Today I told my kids the stories I remembered dad telling me of his childhood back home and how my uncle loved and looked after his family.

Dad and his siblings 19 years ago at my wedding

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happiness

On the hill

I was driving down Cochrane Hill today, stuck behind a big truck going very slowly when I had a childhood memory pop up.

When we were kids often we had horse activities at times when dad wasn’t available and mom would have to take us ourselves. Now that I’m a mom I realize how hard it is just to get two humans out of the house, forget tack, horses, and hooking up the trailer (forget loading the horses and driving us.

The fact that mom could do all this given her physical limitations is absolutely amazing.

I remember often her having to drive the trailer up Cochrane Hill – and when we were little she was hauling with just our old Jeep. She’d have to drive through the flat part of town as fast as she could, and even so we’d get 3/4 of the way up the hill and we’d slow to a walking pace.

We always got wherever we were going – she had more patience than I did clearly – but sometimes I look at the things we did or places we went and I’m quite amazed at how brave mom was.

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