Tag Archives: grandparents

happiness

It’s all part of the same family

Tonight we had a wonderful happiness moment in the form of a family supper. Jacob and I came late to the party as we wee back in urgent care getting his ribs checked (again). Arriving tired, emotional, and hungry, it was so heart warming to come into the house and see it full of family. 

That house has always been a multi generational home in my heart. As far as my memory goes back there have been grandparents, parents, kids, siblings, and cousins running around the place. The people may have aged and the generations shifted, but there we are all the same. 

Tonight once again there was laughter filled in the dining room by grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, and everything in between. Keeping these roots that help me grow strong is so important. 

As we were leaving, Jacob looked down the driveway and said there’s three different families all sitting here waiting for us to pull out (we had parked everyone in). And I replied and yet we are all the same family. 

Having those bonds with the ones I love is priceless. This is what being home is all about and I’m so thankful I can provide this kind of grounding and security for the kids. 

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Girls in the barn 

  
This old barn holds so many magical memories. Generations of my family have worked and played inside it. My grandfather handpicked all the logs and then built it about a hundred years ago. It is one of those special places that holds my heart. 

This afternoon Jenna had a friend over to play and the first thing they did was run up to the barn to play. They ran around looking for cats, and then just enjoyed playing outside in the corral. 

I love that I can look out my kitchen window and see this building that holds such fond memories of my youth. I spent countless hours either playing in the loft or grooming my pony inside while looking out towards the mountains. 

It was a great happiness moment to see my child enjoying an earthy, blissful moment in beautifully grounding and stable (haha get it) place. 

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To Grandmother’s house we go

We don’t have water at our house right now, which is one of the side effects of living in an old house in the country (still wouldn’t trade it for anything, I love our home). Fortunately, what we do have is a hero in cowboy boots in the form of my cousin’s husband who has been working hard the last 2 days (in -15 to -20C temperatures) to rectify the situation. It all falls under that Life is an adventure thing. 

Because I don’t do well without showering (and OMG the smell of teens and tweens), we headed into Grandmas for a visit and a shower. She has an endless hot water tank so it was pretty sweet. 

Speaking of sweet, when I got out of the shower I walked into a baking extravaganza in the kitchen. Jenna was rolling and shaping shortbread 

   
On the side of the baking sheet is Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. 

  Jacob walked right over to the fresh bread and made a grilled cheese. As he does whenever he’s in to see grandma.   
Not to be left out, he then jumped in and made gingerbread cookies. 

 
There’s something so special about the relationship kids have with grandparents. I have such fond memories of fun times with my Grandma, I am so happy they get to build memories of their own with their grandmas. I’m extra grateful they were able to make memories with my dad, they’ll cherish those forever as well. 

My happiness moment; hearing my son say life is good as he rolls out gingerbread while his sister hovers behind waiting her turn.  

Grandparents rock!

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O Christmas Tree

Yesterday we went out for our annual Family Christmas Tree Hunt  so today was tree decorating time. I realized when we pulled out what boxes I could find crammed in the back of the mud room (where I had stuffed them when we moved here last spring), that the last time we had used our decorations was likely in 2011. If we put up a tree in Virginia in the years since then I don’t remember it. We were always packing and coming home for the holidays and getting a tree for a couple of days enjoyment didn’t make sense, not when we were going out to get one here.

Because of that, it was kind of fun to find some of the old treasures we had forgotten about. Lots of ornaments that Grandma had given to the kids (she was smart enough to write on the back of each one who it belonged to… smart lady she is). There also were ornaments the kids made when they were little (a little wreath made by Jacob with a story written inside it about how Jenna ate an ornament when she was little).  Both kids really enjoyed the little trip down memory lane.

We cranked on the Christmas Carols and dressed up our tree. My favourite Carol may be Mary’s Boy Child (Jann Arden, why didn’t you put that on your Christmas album, I can only imagine how wonderful you must sound singing that one), but I had to fight for it to play over Jacob’s favourite O Christmas Tree and Jenna’s Feliz Navidad.

When we had put up all the decorations we could find we headed over to my Mom’s to decorate her tree. She had offered to get her assistant to put up the lights so we wouldn’t have to deal with them, but Jacob very strongly responded no, putting lights on the tree is part of the ritual. We are going to do it ALL. And do it all we did.

It was a different decorating experience without Dad there guiding us, and without my sister and her family helping. But, it’s a different Christmas and we are going to enjoy all the beautiful parts of it. I think we got the best tree we have had in years and it was really fun decorating it with Mom and the kids.

While my happiness moment today was decorating the trees with the family, we had a little side happiness moment while walking back and forth to Mom’s. It’s a beautiful, clear, bright night tonight. The moon is small, but shining strongly, there’s enough snow to really reflect those moonbeams, and my cousin has lit up the yard with their Christmas decorations (which I love) so the walk was amazing. We stopped part way and looked up at the constellations. Both kids can find the big and little dipper, we all need to work on a lot of the other ones. It was a beautiful time in nature, so healing for the soul.

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Happiness mishmash 

I had several small happiness moments mixed all through the day today. I went into our Save On this morning to get something for supper and got bumped ahead in line because I only had a couple of items. When I thanked both the man who let me go and the clerk who suggested it, they said it was one of the perks of living in Cochrane – small town kindness.

Jenna went in to see the head seamstress in the family today to get some help (but also to eat cookies … mmmmm shortbread…. and visit). It warmed me to hear them, heads together, busily planning out her sewing project. There’s a special relationship between grandparents and grandkids and I’m so grateful that she is getting to strengthen that bond.

 

I have put a hard limit on internet at home and the kids have responded by actually playing together and having family time. We watched Charlie Brown’s Christmas, and then Jacob found his track set his aunt gave him a couple of years ago. They spent an hour racing their cars around the track.

About 30 seconds after I took this picture a huge tickle fight broke out with the dog jumping on top of both kid licking faces furiously. That was funny because it wasn’t happening to me…..

I love big happiness moments, but life really happens in these little moments. The ones that don’t cost anything, that aren’t planned out, that just happen because we are alive and we are living in the moment.

 

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Happy birthday Dad 

Today would have been Dad’s 75th birthday. I haven’t been home to celebrate a birthday with him since he turned 64, and now that I’m here, he’s not. Sigh. Because we celebrated the last 10 birthdays with him over the phone or on Facetime, I wasn’t sure how acutely I would feel him missing here today – that is anymore than any other day. Sometimes my brain convinces my heart that he’s just gone on a trip for a while and I’ll be seeing him soon. Denial, it’s a difficult cloak of protection.

Turns out I miss him quite a lot.

Dad loved going for walks. He was always trying to get someone to go outside and do something with him – walking, skiing, swimming – he just wanted to be outside. Today I wanted to honour his memory by walking along the ridge by our house – one of his favourite places to be. It’s actually one of the spots where we scattered his ashes, and a place where I haven’t been strong enough to walk along since.

Today I knew I needed to walk there. To go to the place that Dad loved so much and where he found so much peace.

I stood at the spot where we had scattered his ashes. I cried for a long time. Thank goodness it’s a beautiful, warm November day or my tears would have frozen on my face and that would have made a sad situation an awkward one as well. I stood and cried and looked out at the view and just let all my emotions flow. It was both really hard and really easy. I had a lot of clarity come to me in those minutes I stood there thanking Dad for all that he had given to me.

Dad was always so good about making sure that I knew that he loved me no matter what. I never had to worry that I would ever do something that would make his love for me falter in any way. As I go through life and realize that so much of what is called love is conditional it gives me an even greater appreciation for this pure and true emotion of love. What a gift to have, what a gift to give.

I stood there and thanked God for the beautiful place we live in. Dad wanted to spend eternity in the spots he loved so deeply and being there brought me such peace and comfort.

the view along the ridge where we scattered the ashes

I walked for a while with my Dotted Dog and her Naughty Puppy Friend before getting a text from Jacob that he was on his way. He walked up and joined us and we walked the rest of the ridge together.

It was so calm and warm. It felt beautiful to have the sun shine its healing rays on us while we walked and laughed over memories of Dad. The kids miss him so deeply, he was such an important force in their lives. 

Last year at Christmas Dad and I walked the ridge and for some reason decided to stop and take our first ever (and what ended up being our only) selfie. It was the last walk I took with Dad, even though I didn’t know that at the time. We had such a deep, spiritual conversation – I’m so thankful we had the time for those kinds of moments.

omg it was so cold that day

Jacob and I stopped at the same place today and took our own selfie in memory of Dad. I think he would have really liked that we were out there together remembering him. 

After I was back home, I was sitting at the table with Jenna talking about Dad. She leaned over and petted my arm and said “I bet you really miss him today”. Then she said “If it makes you feel any better, while you were out on your walk I went up to my bedroom and sang him happy birthday” and then she burst into tears. So, we sat at the table and cried for a little while. Then we found a video that she and I had made last year on his birthday wishing him a happy day. We cried some more. We did manage to keep talking through our memories until we found some that made us feel better. There are lots of good memories.

I’m pretty lucky because I had a Dad who loved life and loved to pull us into it at full force. Even when I’m sure he wasn’t interested in what I was doing he was always there to listen to me and to talk about things or to watch me do things (the hours that man spent at the side of a riding ring watching me go round and round on my horse. Both my parents spent ages in the heat or (usually) the cold watching me ride).

I work hard at continuing to walk through my grief. I miss him like crazy, but I know he would want us to jump into life with everything we have, without fear. I don’t want to deaden my emotions, I want to feel them deeply and breathe through the tough ones. If I don’t feel the sad emotions, I also won’t feel the joyful emotions. I am on this happiness journey and Dad has been a big part of that. I find happiness in new experiences and I find happiness in memories. As proof of that, my happiness moment today included remembering all the love and fun times shared with Dad, and also experiencing fun times with Jacob (and those crazy dogs) on our walk. There is more tearful happiness to come tonight as my sister and her family join us for a family supper at home.

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Sunday supper

It’s been years since Sunday supper was a thing in our household. A lot of the time it felt like we spent the evening preparing for the stress of the week instead of celebrating the end of the weekend. 

Since coming home again, we have had a lot more occasions to celebrate weekends, or Holidays, or sometimes just Tuesdays. 

Tonight we had an impromptu family supper up at my cousin’s place. It was more like a feast actually – roast beef (beef from the cattle they raise with tender loving care) and all the fixin’s. Easy and fun conversation around the dinner table with grandparents and aunts and uncles and parents cousins and kids. We had the  whole multi generational thing going on. 

We are so incredibly blessed to live where we do with the family and love and support wrapped securely around us. Being safe and happy in the arms of our home. My happiness moment today. 

Home is where my heart is.   

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Pie and ice cream

Tonight we had a dinner party at my mom’s house. It was the first gathering of laughter in the house since before Dad died. A much needed, long over due time for laughing and sharing.

That house has always been a great house for gathering friends and family. From the time I was a young child I remember people coming together in Grandma and Grandpa’s (now Mom and Dad’s) house for tea, for visits, for fun.

When we would have supper in recent years it was usually finished off with a bowl of ice cream. Never were my sister and I so lucky as kids to have ice cream for dessert on a regular basis, but somehow becoming grandparents turned my parents (my dad in particular) into an ice cream eating machine.

Part way through supper Dad would look at one of the kids, point his fork at them and while shaking it up and down say “someone better go set the ice cream out on the counter”. Always one, usually more, kids would jump up and run out to the garage and grab the many varieties of Mackay’s Ice Cream that lined the shelves.

We didn’t eat any ice cream at the dinner table this summer. It just didn’t feel right.

Tonight loving, dear friends of Mom and Dad cooked and brought out supper to share with us. They along with my cousin and her family, my mom, and my family joined around the supper table for some good food, some story sharing, some laughter, and some pie and ice cream. It was a supper that would have made Dad so happy. He would have loved to have been here to enjoy it with us, but I know he is happy that we joined together anyway and celebrated. My cousin-in-law took one for the team and sat in Dad’s seat at the table and he did so with class and finesse. It was fitting.

What an act of true friendship-kindness from this couple whom my parents love so much. It was so incredibly thoughtful and so timely of them to have a dinner at our place. The laughter and joy that belongs in that house was brought back and the mood was light and free from the sorrow of the past few months. Fitting too that it was shared with my cousin and family as they are an extra daughter, son, and grandkids to my parents and siblings to us all. More people who needed to share in the joy of the occasion. The happiness moment today.

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