Stop and reorganize

I decided the best way for me to find some balance in my life again was to stop everything and clean and reorganize the house. There’s still a way to go, there’s a lot of junk we have here that does not belong in this new life, but it was a start. It’s amazing how just tidying and scrubbing some counters can make the house feel more like home. My hope is to be able to paint a couple of rooms over the summer to give them a warmer, fresher feel.

Really the only way to keep moving forward is to bring in the light instead of focusing on the darkness. For me, the best way to do this is to make sure I’m taking care of myself – sleeping enough, eating healthy food, getting exercise, hugging Drishti. As long as I’m looked after, I can look after all the other details.

Although nothing is different from yesterday, it is completely changed as well – I feel stronger and more able to take on the world again. And that is happiness.


Healing balance

Today was a day the feelings decided to show up. I still figure I should see dad walking down the hall in the house, or wandering in the field, or sitting on the deck. I also am starting to understand that it’s real that he’s gone. It’s been two years.

Added to that has been the extra chaos so kindly added by he who shall not be named – that person who seems to want to make sure that finding peace is as difficult as possible. He feels more and more like a distant nightmare, but one that is constantly trying to stir up a storm. Exhausting and I’m done with that.

The balance though is the healing community I have around me – my family, my girlfriends, the healers in my life, the kids, Drishti, and even Dottie when she’s not being naughty.

You get to choose what you put your intention and focus on. I would be crazy not to keep mine on the wonderful gifts I have in my life. It keeps me balanced, and keeps me focused on the fact that there is always hope for things to get better and better. I am incredibly blessed that way.

As I’ve been working at growing my wellness business I have had incredible support from my mom and sister and I’m so grateful for that. One step at a time and I keep walking towards a better life. This family who comes together and lifts each other up – what a gift.

That is happiness.


Mama Mia

If yesterday’s trip to Waterton was a family wellness day, then today was a personal wellness day. I have realized how important both of those are. The kids and I need special time together away from our regular routine to just be be and have fun together. I also need time just for myself to recharge and get back in balance with myself. Today was a me day. 

I had a massage. I didn’t realize how much I needed help letting go of the unnecessary stress I have been carrying. It’s amazing how powerful healing hands can be. 

I went for a walk. That’s always something that connects me with Source and myself. It helps to heal my heart. 

I had a nap. I have been so incredibly tired the last couple of days. I think all of the emotions of the past few weeks fell onto me now that things are quiet and I needed some recovery time. The kidsare healing   and getting stronger after all the angst they went through last month and we can all let go a little now. 

I watched Mama Mia with Jenna. Somehow ABBA has become our road trip music (don’t judge) so we spent a good 6 hours yesterday listening to their music. It made that cheesy chick flick that much more enjoyable this evening. Belly laughs are awesome. 

I am so grateful that I have learned to find the space to honour the fact that I need to keep myself strong and at peace in order to lead this family. That makes me happy.