Author Archives: Melissa

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The best days of my life 

Today was one of those big happiness days. We packed so much into the day, I’m kind of amazed I’m still upright- and it’s only 9pm. 

Jenna and I did a last hurrah road trip for the summer. We went to Waterton, which is one of my happiness places. 

On the way there we stopped in Pincher Creek and had lunch with one of my forever friends. I can’t remember meeting her, she’s just always kind of been there. I was probably around 6 though and we were on our ponies in Pony Club when we would have met. We have seen each other through almost every phase of life. 

This last phase (the holy crap we are adults one) has been a bit more challenging though, as we both have lived a bit of the gypsy lifestyle and moved all over the place – and usually in opposite directions. 

Thanks partially to social media but mostly to a solid foundation, we were able to sit down today after a 14 year absence and yack non stop the entire lunch – while Jenna sat there looking at is like we were aliens. Why are you guys speaking  in  two word sentences and then doubling  over in laughter? 

Because that’s how we have aways been. That lunch was a big happiness moment today. She was around for some of the best days of my life, and even with the difficult emotions of this year, I feel like I am back in the best days of my life. Happiness is growing all around. 

Jenna and I headed to Waterton after our walk. I’d read a blog by BettyLivin and took her advice about a trail towards Blakiston Falls. Of course, I hadn’t read her blog recently and thought I had a better memory than I actually do, so we ended up just walking to the Falls instead of the canyon I was searching for – which still was beautiful and a lot of fun. 

  

Then back to the town for some rock skipping at the lake. An important tradition. 

Bison paddock on the way home. They were only about 30 feet off the road. This was taken with my iPhone. It was a little too close for comfort. We were in our car and on the road, but I still sat there with my foot on the gas. I have no idea how the guy on a buffalo (who is a family friend) ever got on one of those. No thank you. 
   

I’m so grateful these best days of my life keep coming. I’m thankful for old friends I’m reconnecting with and new ones I’m making. For the feeling of stability and security. For the smiles of joy on my kids’ faces as they tell me how happy they are to be home. There is much that is right in the world. 

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My fairy godmother. 

I am really lucky in the godmother department. When I was a kid, my godmother really was like a fairy godmother – always stopping by with treats, good cheer, and a twinkle in her eye. She is the standard by which godmothers are set. I’m afraid I’ve failed terribly in comparison in my appointment with my niece, but it is an incredibly hard act to follow. 

This afternoon, her daughter – my sister’s godmother- had us over for tea. Not your North American tea either please and thank you. High tea (they are Scottish) with scones and jam, little sandwiches, butter tarts…. you get the picture. 

We sat outside and visited – something we have not done properly in years. Something that was so important to do with these life long friends who are family. They have been an incredibly important part of my life and it was a very blessed happiness moment to get to spend the afternoon with them.  

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Friendship. 

I had tea today with a dear friend. She’s a wonderful combination of friend and family – I have always felt so comfortable around her and we have always been able to talk about anything. We sat on out on her beautiful deck looking at the mountains and fields and sky and chatted for hours. I love the kind of friendship where you can talk about everything and nothing. 

She said something today that made me think about the effort I need to put into my friendships – even these easy ones. Maybe especially these easy ones. She didn’t say this in relation to me, yet it hit home. It was that some of us want to have friends, we complain about not having friends or spending enough time with friends – yet we don’t want to put in the effort that comes with having a friend. I’m so like that. I never get together with my friends. What? Go out tonight? But I’m tired. I want to go to bed and read.  It’s the unfortunate price of being an introvert. Yet when I’m out and with my friends I’m so happy. 

So, I need to stay mindful of putting in that effort because it brings me joy. 

Sitting with her and chin-wagging was a happiness moment. 

A bonus one was coming home to a bored little girl and doing this to entertain her:

   
   
Like a friendship, it took some effort – an hour to catch and tack up the horses – but so worth it. I actually enjoy the process of riding almost as much as the actual riding. 

I mentioned during my visit today that if I could pick what I wanted to be when I grow up that it would be what I’m doing right now. I love being with the kids, being a mom full time, working on strengthening all of our relationships. I am very blessed and grateful. 

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The community hall 

One of the most difficult things about leaving home 10 years ago was the loss of our community. We moved to three very different places with three very different cultures (Quebec, New England, and Southern Virginia). We learned a lot, made some friends and did our best to settle in, but nowhere was home like it is here. 

My family is lucky enough to be a part of a very special community. Being from an old ranching family, most of the people in our area are either related or have been neighbors for 150 years. This makes for some strong bonds, some strife, and some fun parties. 

We have an old community hall which is not far from my house. My grandparents generation built the hall and brought the community together there. Actually, I learned today that the same people who put the wood on the old house I’m living in did the inside of the hall. 

There are old pictures of parties at the hall. My grandpa playing the fiddle, and various other relatives playing instruments while people danced. As a kid, I remember going to dances there. Well, to be clear us kids got to go to the pre dance dance because later on it got a little wild (as an adult later on I went to these dances and I agree with that assessment).   We would dance around, do the Butterfly, giggle with friends and cousins, and sit on the phone two seater outhouse and talk about how cool it was (they have indoor plumbing now thank goodness). 

At Christmas time, families would gather there for the annual Christmas concert. We would preform whatever talents we had, and at the end of the evening Santa would arrive and give us all presents. We used to call Santa on one of those old fashioned phones attached to a wall to see how much longer he was going to be. Some of my favorite Christmas memories are of those parties. 

Every year there’s a Stampede breakfast and the community comes together to visit and eat. It’s a great way to catch up on what everyone’s up to and it’s one of those events that you know all the old aunts and uncles are going to be at. 

It is a true community and I appreciate it now even more than I did before we left. Being a part of this tribe has always grounded me and made me feel at home and safe. 

My happiness moment today was going to a bridal shower at the hall. The bride has also been gone from the community for quite a few years. Yet everyone showed up to support her and celebrate with her. We sat around and looked at presents, visited, drank tea, and ate all those yummy treats that only show up at hall parties. This happiness moment made me shine from the inside out. I am so blessed to be part of this community, and I now to get to bring the kids up here in this safety net of love. 

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I lava you. 

  

It was rainy and cold today. Like 8C cold, and I could see my breath while walking home tonight. Brrrrrrr. Time to invest in some slippers to keep my feet warm. I also could use a nose slipper. I don’t like a cold nose. 

I woke up at 6 and had breakfast. Since the house was quiet I went back to bed and lay there reading. Apparently I fell asleep because the next thing I knew it was 11. The happiness moment in a rainy day – having nothing to do besides relax and recharge. 

After a significant amount of doing nothing,  I took the kids and cousin kids into town to see Inside Out again. It was even better than the first time. It amazes me how that movie has opened the way for discussions about emotions that we would never have been able to have. I find this particularly with Jacob. He uses the emotion balls and the emotion personalities to dig to such a deep level of emotional exploration. Without having been given this vocabulary he would have never been able to express himself so well. I am so grateful for this. It has deepened our relationship- and as he walks farther into these teen years I want him to always be able to express his emotions with me knowing that it is always safe. Extra happiness moment today. 

I love the Lava short film at the beginning. It’s so cute. And deep. And happy/sad. 

  
We go to bed happy and relaxed. Full of all those emotions, but mostly Joy. 

  

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Melissa means honeybee 

Today was a missing Dad kind of day. I’m not really sure why – it was no different than any other day. 

I woke up at 3am because the house is 10 million degrees and we can’t open windows because Ella the Cat tries to jump out the second story (no screens). So I lay there thinking how ironic that it was probably only 10C outside and yet I was sweating away. Remind me of that in a couple of months when it’s -30 and I can’t get warm enough. 

I started thinking about Dad in the present tense and then had that terrible reminder that Dad in the present tense exists as an angel. That was a horrifying moment. I lay there thinking how surreal  the last few months have been. I even wished that I could go back to that afternoon in the hospice after he died when we were all gathered together. Not because I want to relive that moment, but because in that moment I knew it was real and now I keep pretending that it’s not. 

I dropped Jenna off at her camp at the SPCA and as I was getting ready to leave I ran into the mom of an old friend. They were a family we did Pony Club with and we spent a lot of time together in my teen years. She asked (naturally enough) how my family was doing and my brain responded with well, dad is dead so I’m not sure how he is, the rest of us are doing ok I suppose. I think my mouth gave a more politically correct version of that truth. 

I find I can write about it here, I can tell the banker about Dad, but when I have to tell someone close to me, I completely lose my shit. I really enjoyed the rest of our visit, but the entire time I felt totally shaken by having to say those words. 

So, thoughts of Dad hung around the rest of the day. When Jenna and I went to Community Natural Foods to do some shopping after camp I saw this:

  
Dad took a family favourite photo of a bee flying out of a sunflower that we have hanging over the door at their place. This doesn’t do justice to his photo (I don’t have the mad skills he did and this was taken with my iPhone) but it grounded me. For a few moments Jenna and I just stood there and stared at the bee in the sunflower and felt peace. It was a powerful little moment and I felt like I was being reminded of all the love and good times we shared and all the wonderful things to come. My happiness moment. 

Staring at the bee – in Greek, Melissa means honeybee – I felt loved and safe. 

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It’s MY happiness moment. 

We had to go into the mall today. Kind of a bummer because  it was 31C out and since it’s the 11th of August, summer could end without  notice. That said, at least we were going to the store for a fun shopping experience. I was buying a birthday present for a niece and it included a stop at Lululemon. 

Say what you will about the place, I always have a happy shopping experience at Lululemon. Sure, the clothes run a bit pricy – but I love them, and I’ve noticed all clothes everywhere are pricy. I balance my obsession by doing the rest of our shopping  at TJ Maxx or Winners. 

Jenna and I played around in the store, for the first time ever I even let her try on some clothes (something I’d avoided as I didn’t want to share my small funding for my clothes with her) and she had a blast. She brought in a whole bunch of clothes and found a pair of OM Pants that were on sale. Thank goodness for their sales. I bought her the pair for her first day of school, got the gift certificate and we ran out of the store before I weakened and bought everything in sight. 

As we were standing in the mall figuring where to go next Jenna sat on the Lululemon wall and said mommy, take a picture of me. 

  

She was very insistent that I take the picture and wanted it to be a good one. When I asked her why she was making such a big deal of it, she said I want you to write about it in your blog mommy. I want this to be your happiness moment today because it’s my happiness moment. She reached over and grabbed my hand. I want us to share our happiness moment today. 

What a sweetheart. And that right there was my happiness moment. 

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What’s in your purse?

Today was a pretty mellow day. I hurt my knee a couple of weeks ago and it seems to be getting worse instead of better. Of course, that’s likely because even though it was hurting I just kept on going. I mean, it’s summer and there are things to do. Like go horseback riding. I would be crazy to turn that down. 

It finally got sore enough that I had to stop and take notice. So, while Jenna went to camp at the SPCA today I lay around and moved as little as possible. That was kind of a happy thing in itself. Although, what I really wanted to do was go to my garden, go riding, go to the creek…. Go go. It’s so cold for so long it is hard to slow down in summer when the days are long and the sun is shining. 

Jenna had a wonderful time and camp and as a huge bonus has made a friend. Hopefully that friendship blossoms over the week. 

My happiness moment today was a reminder as to how funny my kids are when they’re relaxed and happy. We went into our local cheese shop (happiness just that we have a cheese shop. And it’s beside a gelato shop) and there were two men there who looked to be in their 60s. At first I thought it was a man and a woman because the shorter one had his back turned to me and was carrying a giant Coach purse. Not a man purse, a woman purse. Because I was waiting in line and bored I listened to them as they told the sales lady how their wives were out of town and they were trying to figure out what to feed themselves and what to do while on their own. 

When we were pulling out of the lot I made a comment to Jacob how weird it was that the man was carrying around a woman’s purse when there was no woman around. Jacob said that maybe he was gay but I said no, they were talking about their wives being away. Jacob responded with 

Maybe he doesn’t know how to look after himself and he needs his wife’s  purse with him. I mean, women’s purses are like survival kits. Whenever I need something all I do is look through your purse and it’s there. I’d carry around a woman’s purse too. I think it was brilliant. 

A whole different perspective. I love that kid. I agree too, they are awesomely handy and I think men would likely be really surprised how much they enjoyed carrying around man purses. After all, it works well in other cultures. 

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